Friend 'asking' for £3k for 4th birthday party for her DD.

[parkyn]

I'm Godmother to my friend's child. The child turns 4 at the end of August. I'm CF (child-free) and earn a fair bit more than she does. Also, her income is a PT one due to her childcare commitments whereas I work FT. I live alone and yes, you could argue my life is 'simpler' than hers - but my outgoings aren't next to nothing.

She is planning a birthday party for her daughter and has somehow costed it to be around £3k. But a large part of that amount is apparently going towards alcohol as she's inviting her fellow Mum friends (obviously they would be there too). Her justification was that she was 'not going to serve guests crap booze' as it would give them a 'bad hangover'. She is also wanting to buy lots of 'champagne instead of prosecco' etc... but no mention of the cake for the child (yet) etc...

She said: 'All I need is £3k... you're so lucky that you don't have to worry about money. Let me know if you want to contribute!'

It's beyond awkward - and me being CF, I have no idea how much a child's birthday party costs - but I can't imagine every parent dropping £3k a year per child per birthday party. AIBU to think this is excessive?

If there are money struggles that I don't know about - that she's not mentioned - then that's another story.

Or even better, tell her you'll print some Dom P labels off and stick them on Aldi fizz bottles for her. They'll never know the difference

A lavish kids party is about £200.

Most are far less.

Is there a gift list too?

Ignore her. Simple as that. If she wants to provide champers etc for her friends she can fund it herself.

It costs about £300 to £350 for a kids soft play party for 30 kids but it is possible to do it cheaper or much cheaper if you have a party at home.

I don't think I have ever spent more than £250 on a child's birthday party.

Serving alcohol at a kids party? Won't they need to drive home!?

Ridiculous

Don't give her anything OP.

You could have various different parties for approx £200

If you have 2/3/10k spare then yes - a child birthday party can cost that.

I'm sure plenty of celebs have parties at that cost and provide expensive branded alcohol.

If you have £100 it costs £100.

If you want a party for your 4yo that's attended by their parents and your friends then hire a bouncy castle, but some burgers etc and bbq or do a buffet. Pay a lot for handmade cake or go to Tesco! Get some bottles of wine, fizzy pop etc and/ or say you'll provide some beer/wine but byob if you want more.

It's stupid to want to spend 3k you don't have on a child's 4th party. Especially when it's all about you and you having a drink with your mates rather than said 4yo.

have you posted about her before? A child's party is normally around £100. Can be a bit more or a bit less. If you go crazy, maybe £200.

My children had a party on the years they were even numbered ages

🤣🤣

We had a soft play type thing for 35 kids inc food & drinks for parents and it was less than £400 all in. And we live in an expensive part of the country.

She's a cheeky c**t. What annoys me the most is 'you're so lucky that you don't have to worry about money'. How presumptuous and how rude!

Just spent around £180 for my 5 year olds party. It was a soft play for 15 with hot food, and brought out own cake and party bags.

Are you kidding? I know it’s not £3k, but I couldn’t even guess what a Childs party at a venue might cost. I’ve not even been to one in 30 years.

I could do something at home for £100, but that’s just be a buffet without alcohol… I don’t know what DJs or bouncy castles or clowns or magicians cost (and if that’s even still a thing).

@parkyn If you contribute anything you’re a total mug. A turkey passively walking into the oven to provide a tasty meal for this grasping user.

Why don’t you just set up a direct debit and pay her mortgage and have done with it? She’d still ask for more

Insane.

I'd tell her you'll pay for a component, like the birthday cake or bouncy castle.

Don't give her cash.

Obviously the correct response is

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Your friend is being a cheeky fucker. If she can't afford it then don't do it. You are well within your rights to burst out laughing and reply with "what's wrong with a cuppa!"

It’s her choice and not for you to fund

Why?! Why should the OP pay for anything?! She isn’t even obliged to cough up for a cupcake!

It depends if she's hiring a venue or not. What sort of party is it? Obviously 3k is insane but I have friends who have probably dished out 1k, a lot of people invite an entire nursery class etc on top of other friends and family, and then have an entertainer and then food for everyone, the cake, party bags etc so it does add up.

I don't have any friends who would ask me to contribute towards this though, that is beyond cheeky and definitely not the norm. I'm not sure how I would handle that tbh apart from politely decline? You being child free should make absolutely no difference to expectations of 'contributing'.

Local soft play for my 3 year old last year was £175. That 10 kids, 2 hours of soft play, and a kids meal of nuggets/ pizza. I paid a bit extra for party bags and had to supply the cake.

This is typical and you don't feed the parents. Parents usually buy a coffee and might pop a chip in their mouth. I went all out on cake (sarcasm) and made sure each parent had a cupcake but no guarantee there's even cake for the parents at these.

A booze filled Prosecco party is not for the child. And your friend is bonkers.

Dear god no - I was working in a good job for the 4th birthday party so splashed out on a science entertainer which was about £250 (and was a friends new business I wanted to support) and the food I bought from supermarket (sandwiches pizza crisps etc) and did myself with help from DB and SIL so it may have been as much as £500 when you add up party bag crap. It was my PFB though - now I would not spend that much and there was very little alcohol available - thinki did some Pimms for any one who was desperate and it went untouched. Mums or dads aren’t usually looking for a booze up while dealing with various tantrums etc in my experience so champagne etc is really wierd. Does the child hav other godparents you know? I wonder if they are all being asked similar

I would just reply that I am happy to bring a bottle of wine if that helps.