Friend 'asking' for £3k for 4th birthday party for her DD.

[parkyn]

I'm Godmother to my friend's child. The child turns 4 at the end of August. I'm CF (child-free) and earn a fair bit more than she does. Also, her income is a PT one due to her childcare commitments whereas I work FT. I live alone and yes, you could argue my life is 'simpler' than hers - but my outgoings aren't next to nothing.

She is planning a birthday party for her daughter and has somehow costed it to be around £3k. But a large part of that amount is apparently going towards alcohol as she's inviting her fellow Mum friends (obviously they would be there too). Her justification was that she was 'not going to serve guests crap booze' as it would give them a 'bad hangover'. She is also wanting to buy lots of 'champagne instead of prosecco' etc... but no mention of the cake for the child (yet) etc...

She said: 'All I need is £3k... you're so lucky that you don't have to worry about money. Let me know if you want to contribute!'

It's beyond awkward - and me being CF, I have no idea how much a child's birthday party costs - but I can't imagine every parent dropping £3k a year per child per birthday party. AIBU to think this is excessive?

If there are money struggles that I don't know about - that she's not mentioned - then that's another story.

Just had my son's 7th birthday. We had a BBQ and soft drinks with some organised games by a sports activity club...£350

Tamara Ecclestone spends a hell of lot more, so there's no limit on what can be spent.

Most average parents spend around £300 and that's generous 😂

Even an evening with friends wouldn't cost me £3k, so of course it's not usual and you don't have to spend any money

Just out of interest op, how much do you earn?

The fact you're thinking this might be reasonable is making me think you must be a very high earner.

This. Honestly, some people have a lot of front. I wouldn’t contribute at all. Don’t give in OP!

A 4 year olds birthday costs like £200 - £90 bouncy castle hire, £25 for the village hall for 3 hours, £70 for cake and food, coffee/tea/milk brought from home. Maybe £20 extra in party bag tat if you’re generous.

Nope I wouldn't be paying towards the party. How crass to even ask! Where on earth are peoples standards these days.

Just laugh in her face if she brings it again.

£100 plus a cake

I wouldn't spend more than £200 on a child's birthday party - and I would definitely never ask a friend to contribute!

That's not a fourth birthday party but a huge piss up for the parents.....tell her to do one!!!?? She's a right cheeky mare for even asking!!!

If you have to ask someone else to pay for it, then it’s costing too much

I've never paid more than £350 for a party when my DD was younger . That's including a nice cake and food . Shes taking the absolute piss . Champagne at a 4 year olds party is crazy .

You what?! 3k for a bairn's tea party?! Tell her you'll bring a Colin the caterpillar

You can bung her £20 if you really want to. But even that's pretty fucking cheeky, imo.

I have 3 kids and the most I’ve spend is £250 (excluding gifts )
£3k is like a fancy engagement party

£200 max here and usually less than £100

Hard nope! This is not a normal expectation from a Godmother. Please, please do not give her ANY money towards this party. It sounds like she's planning a piss-up for her and her mates, and even that doesn't add up to £3k. Set firm boundaries around what she can expect from you and make it clear that it doesn't include cash donations. Time spent with the 4-year-old and appropriate gifts for birthdays, Xmas etc is what you should be expecting to be asked for, maybe with some babysitting thrown in.

She is a massive CF (Cheeky Fucker!), shut this down fast or live to regret it.

Assuming you say do a church hall, entertainer, cake, a few balloons and a simple tea, around £350? But you could do it for cheaper by having it at home with party games. Why on earth is she thinking there will be heavy drinking anyway? People don't drink much if anything at these things.

If you're trying to avoid a fall out I'd say. "Ooh yes definitely, I'll bring a bottle of bubbly to contribute x"

That is ridiculous. I just had my daughters 5th birthday party, with bouncy castle, facepainting and food and drink for about 30 children and 40 adults (yes, a bit overboard and definitely will have less next year). With hall,castle,face painter, food drink and party bags I think I spent about £350. Parents will not drink more than 1-2 glass of wine/beers at a children's birthday party. They generally only last 2-3 hours and at that age need lots of supervision so no one is getting trollied.

Absolutely this . What a bloody cheek .

Three grand?!? No, that’s silly.

A party in the house could be up to £300 if it includes nice food and an entertainer. A church hall will be a bit more (a friend once said it was £30 but it was always about £150 for me - central London).

Is she doing it in a hotel?

You can get a full "princess visit" 2h party for £250 in London, add a bit of food and drink and you are there.

I was thinking £500-£600 tops. Maybe £1k if you're buying champagne - but again, that depends on how many people you're inviting - and whether or not you are paying for the cost of a venue/hall - or holding it at home?

I know it is all relative/dependent on what you want/where you hold it - but I truly thought £600 tops.

Is your so called friend LG!