Friend 'asking' for £3k for 4th birthday party for her DD.

[parkyn]

I'm Godmother to my friend's child. The child turns 4 at the end of August. I'm CF (child-free) and earn a fair bit more than she does. Also, her income is a PT one due to her childcare commitments whereas I work FT. I live alone and yes, you could argue my life is 'simpler' than hers - but my outgoings aren't next to nothing.

She is planning a birthday party for her daughter and has somehow costed it to be around £3k. But a large part of that amount is apparently going towards alcohol as she's inviting her fellow Mum friends (obviously they would be there too). Her justification was that she was 'not going to serve guests crap booze' as it would give them a 'bad hangover'. She is also wanting to buy lots of 'champagne instead of prosecco' etc... but no mention of the cake for the child (yet) etc...

She said: 'All I need is £3k... you're so lucky that you don't have to worry about money. Let me know if you want to contribute!'

It's beyond awkward - and me being CF, I have no idea how much a child's birthday party costs - but I can't imagine every parent dropping £3k a year per child per birthday party. AIBU to think this is excessive?

If there are money struggles that I don't know about - that she's not mentioned - then that's another story.

For those questioning me, no I am not making this up!!! No I have not posted about her before!!!

I can understand those posters saying how they could see it being £1200 max, but that's still a long way off from £3k.

For those asking, I live in London. The venue is a nice restaurant - so no soft play etc... (which I wouldn't know the price of anyway!)

I'm assuming she wants to fill her cellar with expensive champagne and 'pretend' that she bought it all in for her child's birthday party but - oh noes! All the parents were driving/pregnant/looking after young children and therefore didn't want more than a cup of tea! All that champagne in the cupboard for later wasted!

Literally champagne taste beer budget. I didn't spend that on my 50th and I had wood fired pizza van and bartenders served cocktails . I don't know who she is trying to impress but it isn't a 4year old . How ridiculous

Why should you fund the party?

It's not a godmother thing to spend 3k for a birthday party for a 4 yo kid. Makes no sense.

You bring a gift along. That's it!

We have never paid more than £250. Often less.

Ok nobody goes to a 4th party expecting alcohol. Most of these things happen in the middle of the day and are not the types of party's you drink at.
Most people will be driving. Most people will be fitting it around other commitments. She is 100% taking the piss.
A party costs less than £500 max. Depending on if its price per child or not it can be done for a lot cheaper.

This. She is free to host any party she wants but she doesn't get to pass the bill to someone else under the guise of 'Godparent' duty.

Pay £0 towards the party. Buy her DD something nice for £30.

This sounds like the beginning of another 20 years of ridiculously entitled requests unless you set a firm boundary now.

No way does a party cost that much max £300 I think is what I have spent on a whole class party and that one was soft play for everyone

she is massively taking the piss

She’s taking the pis. Ignore.

This is bonkers. The whole thing. So five women will get drunk on 3000 alcohol and have kids having party. Is the post real

It's beyond awkward

Of course it isn't awkward because it is such an unrealistic piss taking amount to ask for.

@parkyn Just say no and buy your godchild a present. Her birthday party is not your responsibility. If you part with large sums of money for a birthday party, then more fool you

It is a ridiculous sum to spend on a 4 year old's birthday and as for asking someone else to pay for it - words fail me!

Please also do not contribute anything. She's will be back every year. If it's at a nice restaurant then it's nothing to do with the kids.

Buy her a Bible and a bottle of communion wine

Champagne for a 4 year old’s birthday party. Somebody’s been watching too much Real Housewives of Cheshire 😂😂😂

OP suggest you’ll bring a couple of bottles of wine/a bottle of Champagne/a birthday cake (whatever you feel comfortable with) and ask what your goddaughter would like for a gift.

It is unusual for the birthday mum to ask for a contribution to the party so you certainly aren’t obliged to offer anything. A gesture may smooth the situation though so it doesn’t affect your relationship.

Where are they going? Ibiza 🤣

Why on EARTH is she planning a 4 year old’s birthday in a nice restaurant?!

What kid wants a party in a nice restaurant 🤣🤣🤣

You said in your OP you didn't know if she has money worries. Well if she does she can have a party with cake and games at home. Her 4 year old will like that much more than sitting in a restaurants while their parents drink champagne...

CF. If she wants a party like that, she can pay. Buy godchild a present and if you're invited to party, tell her you'll bring a bottle of something (doesn't have to be alcoholic if you intend to drink a soft drink) - that's your contribution.

Offer to source and pay for the cake and decorations. Job done.

My reply to her would be haha good one, you really had me going there for a moment! I've sorted a gift for <her DD name> and hopefully she has a lovely party.

See if she's brass necked enough to come back and argue with you.

Just what every 4 year old wants for her birthday..her Mum getting pissed with her mates. Poor child. Maybe as Godmother you should try and advocate for her (I would do that by pretending she was joking..."Ha ha .I think even Bill Gates would think twice about spending £3k on champagne for a 4 year old's birthday. But seriously, what are you planning to do for X ? It is her birthday after all"

Let me guess. She will keep the left over champagne and booze?

Out of curiosity, how much does a 4 year old's party cost? I truly have no idea.

Pretty much nothing if you have it at home: a cake, pass the parcel presents and a going home present for each child.

If you go to a soft play or hire a hall, then add that cost - say £50 for a hall.

You really don't have to fork out for champagne for the kids' parents. IME, they usually bugger off for a child free hour or two and leave the party parents to it.

I remember one of the mums at school posting a photo on FB of 12 bottles of champagne cooling prior to her DDs 8th birthday party. One of the girls was seriously injured at the party which was no surprise with the amount of alcohol consumed.
At her DS’s 16th the fire brigade were called out when a fire pit fire got out of control.
She was famous for her parties🙄
Fortunately DS wasn’t in the same year as any of her children.

No 4 year old wants a birthday party in a nice restaurant .

bring her a drum set as a gift