£10.5k spent since January on my credit card

[Heyheyheyyou]

I’ve spent £10.k on my credit card since January 2025 on food, clothes, petrol, eating out and other general stuff for me and the kids. This excludes bills & mortgage, which are paid from a separate account.

DH has become angry as he views this has excessive and points to things, such as take aways and coffee etc, which he considers a waste.
He’s basically made it clear, he wants to take over running the family finances or have completely separate bank accounts.

DH wants to save enough to help DC buy a house at some point in the future ladder. He was putting away £100 per month for a few years but has had to stop due to the cost of living.

Dors my spend seem excessive, I don’t think so. We have 2 primary school aged children.

Sounds a lot to me, yes you want to treat the children but it can very easily become a habit to eat out, get drinks out etc. Set yourself a monthly budget for each category of expenses (clothing it's useful to set a quarterly or even annual budget as we don't need clothes monthly), but changing habits like eating lunch then going to the park rather than eating out, taking drinks with you so going to a coffee shop is a treat, take sweets from a multi pack with you, reduce takeaways and so on. I would suggest that reducing by 1/3 would be reasonable

Agree. Also, frozen veg has as much nutritional value as fresh, and lasts longer, and tins and jars (e.g. chillis in brine, capers etc) are very useful for cooking from scratch. E.g. you can make hummus at home with low-fat Greek yoghurt, a tin of chickpeas (drained), garlic and lemon juice - can jazz up with maybe some crushed chilli (or fresh chilli but be careful, some a very hot) or harissa. Peanut butter can substitute for sesame paste if you wish to make the hummus more filling.

Yes it is a lot well to me anyway op. I have spent 2k in 1 year and I think this is a lot. Some on my business some car things on it.

Sorry but I have to agree with him. Petrol, clothes, food are all essential items and should come out of wages (unless there's a change circumstances as to why you cannot pay for these things normally, IE loss of job / change of hours or unexpected large bill). It's so easy to get carried away with everyday expenses and they really do pile up. What is the reason for putting it on a credit card? Do you have your own income?

It is coming out of wages. As the OP clarified, the credit card is being paid off in full every month with their wages.
Incidentally, there is a really handy feature on MN where you can read just the OPs posts.

That's an incredibly rude response that lacks nuance. We don't have enough information to make a judgement, maybe she overspend, maybe he's not acknowledging recent cost of living increases.

In what way is it not coming out of wages?

You spend 2k a year on all expenses aside from mortgage/ rent and utilities, including food, transport and day to day spending for a family?

Haha the cost of living being take aways? £1300 a month seems extraordinarily excessive when you can't save £100 a month.

Thanks for everyone's feedback, there has been some excellent advice. I have downloaded all of the statements and I am going through each month.
One thing I have noticed is how our spend shoots up doing half term: we might take the kids on a day out and end up spending £100+ on tickets, travel, snacks and meals. I will try and avoid this excessive spending as quickly as possible.

Knowledge is power!

Good luck ☺️

I think also understanding that spending outside of direct debits (which cover bills and mortgage) is unavoidable everyone spends money on food/petrol etc and kids can be expensive. Getting your DH on board with that is also key. Then recognising what you can cut down on is also key

but having an idea of what your incomings are and what you want yiur outgoings and savings are as well because that varies from household to household

how much your household income?

My CC bill every month around £2500 but DH income way more than that. And we pay the CC full every month. We can save £500-£1000 everymonth. Even then i feel sometimes my CC (for goings out, takeaway, groceries) are bit excessive.

if you cant save it means you need to reconsider. At least you need to save £500 every month.

Really great start, OP. You can do it! :)

There's an app called Snoop which categorises all your spending for you.

While it makes sense, now that you know you can plan better- pack snacks, lunch; carry your own water and drinks; try get vouchers or offers on activities etc.

They are talking about discretionary spending, not core expenses like mortgage/rent and utilities.

The OP's credit card spending is for food, petrol, things for the children and discretionary spending.

Really good start but make your DH do the same - he can't complain about your spending without submitting his own for scrutiny too - be he has the odd pint at the pub/coffee out as well.

Don't cut out days out - these are often the memories you look back on - but try and find cheaper options/money off vouchers and take snacks and a picnic when you can.

But you AND your DH need to look at all your expenditure together. I'll bet he fritters money just as you do. And then you need agreed spending & saving limits. Together!

Who does the childcare as well during the holidays as of course holidays increase

he needs to have some understanding as well of that

It's not so much that you should avoid spending in half term - it is nice to have days out. But you can definitely plan for it, budget for it/mentally spread the cost through the year and do some moneysaving activities like looking for lower cost or free activities, investing in something like an annual pass to local attraction, NT membership, invest in some equipment so you can do an activity without needing to necessarily hire/go to a centre etc.

Also we tend to either bring snacks OR a picnic - we would try not to buy food out 2x unless we're on holiday.

What do you mean by saving £500 a month?
Do you mean saving for something specific, or just putting aside 6k a year on top of pension for some future point in time?

No not at all ! !