£10.5k spent since January on my credit card

[Heyheyheyyou]

I’ve spent £10.k on my credit card since January 2025 on food, clothes, petrol, eating out and other general stuff for me and the kids. This excludes bills & mortgage, which are paid from a separate account.

DH has become angry as he views this has excessive and points to things, such as take aways and coffee etc, which he considers a waste.
He’s basically made it clear, he wants to take over running the family finances or have completely separate bank accounts.

DH wants to save enough to help DC buy a house at some point in the future ladder. He was putting away £100 per month for a few years but has had to stop due to the cost of living.

Dors my spend seem excessive, I don’t think so. We have 2 primary school aged children.

If you want to keep a better track of your finances then I'd recommend the 'Fast Budget' app. The basic version is free.

It's impossible to say whether you are being excessive or not. It depends on your income. Everyone should aim to spend less than they earn and to save a good chunk every month.

If you are doing this then it's ok to buy take away etc. if you are not then you should cut expenses.

It's really hard to say whether it's excessive without more information. Eating out - how often does it happen? Clothes - are these essential replacements for what's worn out, or latest designer 'must have' items? And so on.

Odd remark!

We don't all save money!

So, what, about £300 ish per week, roughly?

Tank of petrol. £70
Food (and other supermarket items) £150
Remainder spent on clothes, takeaways, coffee etc appx £80?

Does this seem about right?

It depends. What’s your monthly take home wages?

I’ve spent £10.k on my credit card since January 2025

I presume that year is a typo!

Objectively, yes it’s a lot.

But that can be relative to finances.

How much does he earn, how much do you earn and what’s the outgoings?

£1.5 sounds like a lot but does it include all the food shopping? It still seems like a lot if you are struggling financially.

and more importantly, are you paying it off each month?

Of course not everybody saves, a lot of people can't afford to. However they were and if savings have gone before takeaways then the balance is possibly wrong.

I suppose it depends if you're paying it off every month, or racking up a huge debt? It does sound excessive to me, especially if you've had to stop saving as a family because of costs etc. I'm kind of in agreement with your DH about the coffees and takeaways really. I kind of feel they're a treat, rather than regular purchases.

If you’ve racked up over 10k since January and are not clearing your balance every month then hell yes - I’m with your husband. I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night. What sort of an interest rate do you have on the card and how much a month are you paying off it? If it’s not at least £500 a month then you’ll be paying that debt off for years.

We should all try to save money, even a small amount.

YABU as that sort of spending should be budgeted out of your normal day to day income. Why isn't it?

I only use a credit card for travel or large purchases, mainly for the protection but sometimes to spread the cost.

Think of it this way, using a credit card is borrowing money, would you think it was a good idea to take out a bank loan to spend on things like clothes, petrol, days out etc..

I am probably similar. I put everything on there except bills and pay it off monthly. You are better that way for cashback.
Credit card isn't the issue it is whether you are spending beyond your mean. Sit together and go through your spending properly.

Maybe him taking control of the finances wouldn't be a bad thing. He would then quickly realise that is what things cost now.

Wow yes that is excessive!

It's pretty straightforward, isn't it. If you can't afford to save £100 a month, then you can't really afford a lot of takeaways and expensive coffees.

If you're working on a budget where saving £100 per month has become unfeasible, then yes, accumulating £10.5k of credit card spending in 7-8 months seems excessive.

Even if you're paying some of it off each month, that's a lot of money that it sounds like your family can't justify, and I'd suggest you need to rein in the spending and budget to live within your means.

It entirely depends on your income. It's 1500 a month. Which is our monthly budget for 2 adults and 1 child for all food, fuel, clothes, eating out, shopping for house bits etc. We don't always soend that amount. But its usually between 1000-1500 depending on whats happened that month. To some It's excessive i'm sure. To us it's not. Its well within our means.

We however also save more than £100 a month, which you aren't able to do at present. Which implies £1500 a month is outside your affordability.

Is it your monthly budget for groceries etc or just casual spending?

I don’t blame him, he wants to provide for his kids future and your buying takeaway coffee.

If that excludes bills, then yes £1.5k per month since January is excessive, and if that’s on a credit card with you only paying minimum amount each month then that debt is going to spiral in the future, to the detriment of your family! I think you perhaps need to review where to shop for these things and cut out the takeaways and eating out to lower the expenditure, and learn to live within your family’s means.

Why are you asking here if your spending is excessive?!?!?
The answer sits within your own family income / financial planning for the short / medium / long term.

Some people here couldn’t afford even half of that bill without going into terrible debt.
Others could spend it a month without batting an eyelid due to high income.

It’s irrelevant what others think is excessive or reasonable because ultimately it’s not anyone else’s finances, it’s yours!

To even ask the question in the way that you have suggests a rather strange detachment from your own financial reality.

Not enough details to say OP, but if you can’t save £100 it sounds like you are living well above your means.
Are you putting money in an ISA? A pension? Broken boiler fund?
We have put £100 a month into a child’s ISA every month since our kids were born. Eldest is nearly 17, and that £1200 a year is over 30k, it’s amazing how it adds up, for the price of a few takeaways and costa coffees…

Impossible to say. It’s much less than has gone on our joint credit card since then but:
Absolutely everything possible goes on our credit card for the house and family plus holidays etc
We pay it off in full every month

If you’ve built up a £10k balance since January I can understand him being cheesed off. if it’s paid off then it seems reasonable to me assuming you have the income to do so.

Well, look at it this way. That's £1,500 spent on probably unnecessary things. Do you and the children need new clothes every month? Do you need takeaways or to eat out regularly?
Who pays for the credit card, you or him?

I can completely understand the concern, it sounds like an irresponsible amount of money to be spending every month, unless you have the funds to pay it off each month which sounds like you don't. Credit is not your money in the first place, it's borrowed money from a high organisation who will come down hard on you if you're unable for whatever reason to pay the money back.

If you're 10.5k in debt you need to speak to stepchange and get on top of it. If you've spent it and paid it off in full and just using the cards wisely that's another matter.

How much debt are you in now? If you are in £10k debt then yes, that's clearly excessive