Saying no to childcare in the holidays

[Aprilmaymum]

I today put my foot down and said no to my DSIL asking me to look after her three DC for two days next week. I have DC of my own and I am a full time mum while my DH works long hours. Last week I looked after my DN’s for two days. I I get my DSIL works and I am always happy to help but this is turning into more than the odd day. Of course my DBIL
has spoke to my DH about this and how disappointed he is etc etc. I don’t want to fall out but I feel enough is enough. I plan my DC activities in the holidays and next week two have swimming and one a drama group. this gives me a chance to catch up on jobs. So when DSIL asked me again and for three days I said no. It took me a lot to say no but now I feel
like a pig in the middle.
anyone else who is a full time mum feel like they are being took advantage of.

You are not being unreasonable. If you wanted to be a child minder, you'd be paid for it.

Yanbu she’s a CF

I used to work part time and did look at full time but DH for a promotion which did mean more money but longer hours so gave up work to look after my three DC. Since then I have been asked again and again. Last week she said she was desperate and as I had nothing planned said yes but this week I said no. My DBIL has yet again text my DH about families helping out etc.

You’re not being unreasonable to say no to childcare, you’re not obligated to provide it to anyone else, you don’t even have to justify it to anyone just say no that doesn’t work for us.

You are being unreasonable to say full time mum (mothers who work aren’t part time mums) you are a stay at home mum.

No chance, it’s hard enough caring for your own children without other people dumping theirs on you too.

Sorry didn’t mean to offend. Just stating I don’t now
work having left my job recently due to DH longer hours.

She's being cheeky, you've probably saved her a fortune in the past so now she can use some of that money to pay for childcare.

And your dbil can fuck right off with his disappointment, the cock!

Yanbu. They should have sorted childcare long before now.

YANBU - absolutely cheeky to ask in the first instance but to then not take no for an answer! Stick to your guns Op.

What does your dh say in reply to his brother??

I worked part time previously and was asked then to help out. Honestly I don’t mind helping out and if they were last minute stuck I would but to be asked again for three days when I have plans is not fair. Of course I am sure the DMIL will have something to say she often says how now I am home I have so much time. !!

Tell MIL that she can do it .

YANBU. I was a SAHM and we took a financial hit as a family so that I would have more time for our DC, not so that I could be free childcare for families who still had two full incomes.

He said I have plans. He will support me but the whole family no doubt will get involved.

I'm sick of people just dumping their kids on others could never!!

We have it with one of our neighbours, they look after themselves parents never to be seen but always end up at ours!!

So both parents are asking, not just SIL? As asked, what has your DH said to his brother?

6 children is a lot to look after! What are the ages?

I would need someone to be seriously ill to look after their kids whilst my own were in clubs, regardless of working status.

She is far to busy with all her activities to ever help out.

Maybe your SIL and BIL shouldn't have had 3 kids if they can't afford childcare?
Definitely not your problem.

"Our kids are in clubs, we can recommend these ones: LINK LINK" would be easier than "no".

Well then between them, they can cover the six weeks holiday.

Even if you sat on your arse every day with no job and no kids, you're still not obligated to provide childcare. Tell them to fuck off, and if your husband tries to guilt trip you, tell him to get to fuck too

She shouldn’t be planning summer holiday childcare at short notice, week on week, it’s almost like she’s assumed you’ll be able to do it.

There are pros and cons for working or being a SAHM, you are missing out on a paid salary so you deserve to use your free time while your kids are in clubs.

If you worked then she wouldn’t get any help!!

I think it’s really cheeky. The odd day to help out when desperate but it shouldn’t be expected. You’re a sahm by choice not to facilitate others children.