AIBU to ignore this? Caught having sex.

[Mortifiedhere]

I’m mortified as I think my 14 year old son heard or even saw my husband and I having sex last night.

I’m not 100% sure though.

We had our windows open and I hadn’t realised our bedroom door had swung open in the breeze (we both thought door was firmly closed, bedroom is an L shape and you can’t see the door from the bed, we can’t add a lock as it’s a rental).

We were in the middle of it and heard the bathroom door close. It was after midnight so we thought our son would be fast asleep.

This morning my son seems grumpier than usual, although to be fair he is quite grumpy these days. Typical moody teen.

I don’t feel I can raise it, as I’m not positive he definitely heard/saw anything. Therefore AIBU to just ignore it if he doesn’t mention anything?

If he does mention it obviously I’ll apologise but I’m just mortified and worried we’ve scarred him for life.

Has this happened to anyone else? How did you handle it? Argggghhhhhh

I walked in on my parents about that age, have not been scarred for life. Even if he did see it the best thing will be that he doesn't think you know that he did, that conversation would be more mortifying for him!

I think the worst that will happen is this will be one of those things that you suppress and push to the back of your mind but every so often in the dead of night it will wake you up to make you cringe.

Jeez stop being so sanctimonious

I'm sure it happens. I heard my parents once and it's not scarred me.
They soon get Saturday jobs and weekend afternoons in the house become your own again! I wouldn't mention it and buy a wedge for the door ( we are so lucky we have a lift room so are well out the way!)

What’s wrong with you @Janiie ?? How is going to the toilet in the night weird and nosy? You’re clearly just here to wind up …

It could be worse. I remember being 14 at a sleepover at a friend's house and her Mum and boyfriend were having incredibly noisy sex. The Mum was crying loudly at one point and we expressed concern that she may not be ok. Our friend shrugged her shoulders and said it happens all the time!

What, headphones to walk out on the landing?

Urm no I wasn’t. I didn’t even kiss a boy until I was 16! My friends weren’t either. No idea where you grew up but 14 year olds were not having sex where I’m from or none that I knew off. My now adult children weren’t either 😂

A simple Google will show that over 20% of teenagers lose their virginity under the age of 16. Also remember those are the ones who were happy to admit to that when often they’re embarrassed creatures.
I find it astounding you don’t know anybody who did 😂Impossible almost.

OP - you’ll both laugh about this one day - a day far far from now. Chin up.

Be astounded I don’t know anyone that was having sex at 14. A couple of girl in the 5th year at school so 15/16 but not 14. At that age it’s not exactly something that could/would be kept secret either . I just asked my daughter this question. She’s 18 but said those of her close friends that have had sex were 16 or 17 .

I wouldn't say anything at all unless he mentions it himself. At his age he must know about sex and realise that's how he exists! Even if he saw you both, I wouldn't worry, it's perfectly natural.

I wouldn't say anything. I once heard my parents when I'd got up in to night to go to the loo and in the morning I was trying act as if I hadn't heard anything until my mum asked if I had heard anything overnight and I was like, "Ummmm, no" 🤣

There is a joke about parents making out in day time, they send their preteen son out to play with a bag of sweets and a new toy.
He comes home and they ask him what he did, he says he had a great time as Charlie next door had an iPad and some juice as his mum and dad were having sex as well...
We all knew our parents were at it, we had siblings.

Our children were 13 and 11, it was a hot afternoon, they were playing in the garden. So we decided to have a 'quickie' in our bedroom. We were having an enjoyable time, when suddenly we were aware that we were observed. My son had crept in and had settled down to watch the action. I said go away we will be downstairs in while. My son said no I'm staying, it's part of my biology homework. Our ardour quickly evaporated. I don't think it did any permanent damage.😁

I was the child in this situation and would have curled up if mum had of mentioned it. I’m now in my 50s and still remember. It will never be mentioned 🤣

My friend as a child was hiding under her parents bed ready to jump out and make them jump… you can guess what happened though! She hid under there while they had sex and was too scared or embarrassed to come out. She’s never told them she was there and still to this day finds it a funny story to tell, definitely isn’t traumatised by it, like I feel I would be!

O thank you blueblahblah and thanks to your friend. Its a grim day and you've made me laugh 😀

In 14 years he’s prob heard it already

If I ever heard my parents I just put ear phones in and listened to music, it's really not a big deal.
People saying mind your privacy are ott, it's not like he walked in to see his parents shagging on the dining room table. They were in their bedroom late at night!

I had forgotten this.
I lived in a close.

One summer night about 10ish ,2 doors down was going at it with lots of vocals... very very loud. All our windows were open.
Suddenly the men of the close starting shouting out encouragement.
Get in there my son.
8.5 out of 10.
Put him down girl , you don't know where he has been...
There was a lot of clapping...
Next day she came out and looked very red in the face, one of the women offered to pay to borrow him...
We all laughed at it, and it was never mentioned again.

I was nearly 17 when my mum got with my step dad, one night we were staying at his with my 2 sisters and step sister, I was still awake by the time they went to bed, and I could hear them. I just plugged my ears and hummed songs I liked. It was a little bit awkward for me for a few days, but it didn't make any difference to my life going forward. Just forget about it, he will get over it!

@Janiie

You don't sneak round landings at midnight. What a weird nosy kid.

What a horrible comment. "Weird and nosey"? For going to the bathroom? Away with you 🙄

Having experienced this from the other side i.e. I was the child. As soon as I saw I wanted to forget. The last thing I’d have wanted would have been my parents bringing it up. Unless he mentions it I’d stay quiet.

My DB at that age had a bedroom on the second floor above our parents room. My sister and I said 'OMG how cringey, can you hear them having sex?'

He said yes, it's hilarious!

So I guess our teenagers all have different views. OP I agree with you - I would die if my kids heard us - but they know it's a thing, just not a thing we share or discuss. All kids 'know' their parents have sex, doesn't mean they want to see or hear it. Most would consider it 'gross'. But they will probably giggle with their friends about it, and will definitely not be scarred for life.

Just forget it and do not mention it to him.

True, but probably only with themselves! Lol