AIBU to ignore this? Caught having sex.

[Mortifiedhere]

I’m mortified as I think my 14 year old son heard or even saw my husband and I having sex last night.

I’m not 100% sure though.

We had our windows open and I hadn’t realised our bedroom door had swung open in the breeze (we both thought door was firmly closed, bedroom is an L shape and you can’t see the door from the bed, we can’t add a lock as it’s a rental).

We were in the middle of it and heard the bathroom door close. It was after midnight so we thought our son would be fast asleep.

This morning my son seems grumpier than usual, although to be fair he is quite grumpy these days. Typical moody teen.

I don’t feel I can raise it, as I’m not positive he definitely heard/saw anything. Therefore AIBU to just ignore it if he doesn’t mention anything?

If he does mention it obviously I’ll apologise but I’m just mortified and worried we’ve scarred him for life.

Has this happened to anyone else? How did you handle it? Argggghhhhhh

I highly doubt he would have actually walked in your room - I mean at 14 why would he? Sounds like he got up for a wee and yep might have heard a few noises. Just ignore and try not to let it become a regular occurrence (him hearing you). I must admit since our dc have got older (now 12 and 21, although 21 year old now at university) we hardly ever have sex as there’s always someone awake / wandering around / etc. Totally kills the mood.

You need to teach him about boundaries and privacy. I doubt you'd wander into his room late without knocking so he should be doing the same.

If he chose to walk into the room when he could hear what was going on, he needs a lesson in understanding people's privacy. If he did that he should apologise to you?!
I can imagine he'll find it all the more cringe if you try and mention it, so don't bother. Of course he's not scarred for life, he would at most have though 'ew, gross'. And then blocked it out of his mind.

Maybe he closed the door so he didn't have to hear it! Gross OP. Follow his lead and pretend nothing happened

Having parents in a loving relationship is a godsend not anything to be armed about.

Unless he came in and started taking photos there is absolutely nothing to be concerned about.

You have nothing to apologise for.

In about 2 years time, you’re going to be hearing him and his girlfriend at it, ALL the time.

He's 14. He knows what adults do and all of you should take more care of ensuring privacy as that's what you seem to want. Apologise? Don't be ridiculous. And remind him to knock on your bedroom door before entering. I'm sure you do the same for him and you've taught him this from a much younger age.

Well no, not if you don’t allow them to have sleepovers and you don’t allow them to spend all their time in their rooms with the doors shut. No thanks.

Well he should've just put headphones on. Most teens are surgically attached to them. Ours at that age would not have heard a bomb go off .
You don't sneak round landings at midnight. What a weird nosy kid.

Just to clarify, I heard him close the bathroom door, not our door. I’m hoping he didn’t even approach our door, which is a little way away from the bathroom he was using.

Don't say anything. He may not have heard, you are not sure.

Just ignore. If he was a small child, he might have been a bit scared but at his age, if he did hear, he would probably try to ignore and not want it mentioned.

Put it out of your mind, please, It really isn't a big deal.

Boundaries and privacy about going to the bathroom alone?? 😵‍💫 … clearly you need to be taught how to read.

There are parents all over the world having sex in all sorts of conditions. Kids do hear or know sometimes. Not sure what can be done about it

many of my friends do it only when the kids are not around but that is a very big stretch and organisational scheme either

adults who are married are having right of a sleep in the same bed and a bit of that.

what is even the point of discussing the oldest topic in the world.

Op causally drop into the conversation that your angry with your dh for all his tossing and turning and moaning from his back pain last night...🤔🤦‍♀️🤣

@Janiie I'm guessing he went to the bathroom because he needed the toilet. Which part of that makes him weird or nosy? 🤯

I had the misfortune of walking in on my Mum and Dad having sex in the kitchen when I was a 14 year old boy. I was out with friends and had popped back home to grab something, they weren't expecting me back for a few hours!

It was an awkward few days, we all just ignored it. I probably would have appreciated an apology but didn't get one. It certainly didn't scar me for life though. It's not like I didn't know my parents had sex, my existence kind of depended on it!

However, the extremely explicit Polaroids of my mother I found in a box after she died? Them I could have done without seeing!

From what you've said he might not have seen anything. If you can't see the doorway from the bed he would have needed to walk right into the bedroom.
He might be grumpy as he got up in the night and had broken sleep.
If he does know it's not the end of the world (said kindly).
However, don't talk to him about it unless he brings it up. At 14 you are unlikely to want to dwell on the fact that your parents are still doing it at their age

It sounds like he probably didn’t see anything so I wouldn’t bring it up. But maybe be a bit more respectful about personal noise levels in future if you think this is what might have woken him up. I know from experience the absolute horror of waking up to a parent making no effort to be quiet whilst in the middle of “the deed”.

She would be apologising for being indiscrete and embarrassing him. Nothing wrong with having sex and nothing wrong with apologising for embarrassing him either.

People have sex. He's 14, I'm sure he knows that.

All you will achieve by mentioning it, is to cause him more embarrassment.

There is no need to say anything.

My DS heard me and DH about the same age and he was grumpy and moody all day until he told me. I apologised sincerely and since then have made sure not to make any noise he can hear even if I'm sure he's asleep. (It was only mattress noise, not noisy orgasms)
What kind of noise were you making? Honestly you need to make sure you aren't vocalising at all now you've got a teenager in the house who would know what the noises were. It's not impossible to have sex very quietly and it's only respectful to your teens not to expose them to sounds of you having sex.

I wouldn't mention it unless he does.
I caught my Mum and her boyfriend having sex a little younger than your DS's age and I was mortified. During breakfast the next day she came out with "Can we talk about what you saw last night?" And I think my cheeks stopped burning 5 years later 😂

Headphones while asleep? He was going to the loo, not sneaking around!