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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ignore this? Caught having sex.

197 replies

Mortifiedhere · 03/08/2024 11:16

I’m mortified as I think my 14 year old son heard or even saw my husband and I having sex last night.

I’m not 100% sure though.

We had our windows open and I hadn’t realised our bedroom door had swung open in the breeze (we both thought door was firmly closed, bedroom is an L shape and you can’t see the door from the bed, we can’t add a lock as it’s a rental).

We were in the middle of it and heard the bathroom door close. It was after midnight so we thought our son would be fast asleep.

This morning my son seems grumpier than usual, although to be fair he is quite grumpy these days. Typical moody teen.

I don’t feel I can raise it, as I’m not positive he definitely heard/saw anything. Therefore AIBU to just ignore it if he doesn’t mention anything?

If he does mention it obviously I’ll apologise but I’m just mortified and worried we’ve scarred him for life.

Has this happened to anyone else? How did you handle it? Argggghhhhhh

OP posts:
Imperrysmum · 03/08/2024 12:50

🤣 OP, sorry feel free not to answer but what position were you in

Flapjacker48 · 03/08/2024 12:50

Are you middle class?

Choochoo21 · 03/08/2024 12:53

Oh no!!

I’m early 30s and would still hate to walk in or hear my parents or children!

I guess if you were being really loud you wouldn’t have heard the door shut?

And if it was late then he probably wouldn’t think to poke his head in your room, as why would he?

Hopefully!!

I definitely wouldn’t mention it or apologise unless he brings it up himself.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 03/08/2024 12:56

JMSA · 03/08/2024 11:27

Och, it happens. No harm done!

Well, he'll remember it for life and cringe for every more like we all do when we remember hearing the bed springs squeak but he'll get over it and no need to apologise. 😂

justbeingasmartarse · 03/08/2024 13:00

You need to be a bit more careful op though you probably realise that now.
Least said soonest mended would be my take on this. To say anything will just cause further embarrassment.

Rosscameasdoody · 03/08/2024 13:04

I think apologising is sending the wrong message. You can’t be sure he saw anything, so I would just ignore it unless he brings it up. If he does, just explain that this is a normal part of a loving adult relationship. You might want to consider that if the room is L shaped and you can’t see the door from the bed, then he would have to have deliberately walked in to see anything. Maybe if he does mention it, just reinforce the fact that your room is private and he shouldn’t just walk in without knocking or making his presence known if the door is open.

Rosscameasdoody · 03/08/2024 13:05

Imperrysmum · 03/08/2024 12:50

🤣 OP, sorry feel free not to answer but what position were you in

TMI !!!

Yellowbananasarebetterthangreen · 03/08/2024 13:06

Definitely dont apologise. Why make his embarrassment (if he heard and felt like that) worse. He should feel proud that his parents still love each other enough to be doing that.

theworldsmad · 03/08/2024 13:19

I also wouldn't say something!
I remember walking on on my parents (under the duvet, but I knew what they were doing obv). I ran back to my bed and prayed they didn't hear me. My mom came and checked on us (they prob heard something and didn't know which one of the kids it was)
I pretended to be asleep because I really did not want to chat to them about it!
I'm so glad they said nothing!
I agree with pp, least said soonest mended!
Id have been mortified if my parents sat me down and wanted to say something about the incident .

Backscuttle · 03/08/2024 13:20

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

SaintHonoria · 03/08/2024 13:23

Come on Op, this is what really happened -

%3D%3D
Whoowhoopitstbesoundofthedapolice · 03/08/2024 13:27

It could have been worse. You could have caught him and his partner.

I'd let it go till he says something, then try to make light of it.

Longchampsachomp · 03/08/2024 13:39

God no, don't say anything.

I heard my parents once, when I was 14. It didn't scar me, I just didn't think about it too much and moved on! It wouldn't have occurred to me to say anything to them and I would been beyond mortified if they'd spoken to me about it!

Just forget about it, wedge the door next time and move on!

Riapia · 03/08/2024 13:42

It would be a great shock to a child of 14 to know that his parents have sex. He surely won’t have had any form of sex education at such a young age. He will have thought that his mum was being assaulted.

The poor child will be affected by this for the rest of his lifetime.

OnAndOnAndonAgain · 03/08/2024 13:45

If he walked in on something he shouldn't maybe it will teach him to knock first!

JudgeJ · 03/08/2024 13:45

Catza · 03/08/2024 11:36

A 14 year old scarred for life because married people have sex? I don't think so

And it probably comes as no surprise at 14 !

tribalmango · 03/08/2024 13:48

So you can't see the door from the bed, which means your son would have had to have walked right into your room for you to be worried that he might have seen you.
If anyone's apologising then it should be him for going into your room.
I would not say a thing though. He knows you have sex, but it's in the "la la la, not thinking about it" part of his brain!

LoneHydrangea · 03/08/2024 13:50

Scarred him for life? Don’t be daft.

I walked in on my parents more than once. Our kids have done it to us numerous times. Just one of those things.

summerdazey · 03/08/2024 13:50

bedroom is an L shape and you can’t see the door from the bed then you can't see the bed from the door

Rosscameasdoody · 03/08/2024 13:51

Riapia · 03/08/2024 13:42

It would be a great shock to a child of 14 to know that his parents have sex. He surely won’t have had any form of sex education at such a young age. He will have thought that his mum was being assaulted.

The poor child will be affected by this for the rest of his lifetime.

Unless you’re being sarcastic (hard to tell from the written word sometimes), don’t be daft !!

DotAndCarryOne2 · 03/08/2024 13:52

summerdazey · 03/08/2024 13:50

bedroom is an L shape and you can’t see the door from the bed then you can't see the bed from the door

Exactly. If he’s seen anything it’s because he’s walked in unannounced. At 14 he should know to knock.

mondaytosunday · 03/08/2024 13:52

@Backscuttle 🤣🤣

Rosscameasdoody · 03/08/2024 13:54

tribalmango · 03/08/2024 13:48

So you can't see the door from the bed, which means your son would have had to have walked right into your room for you to be worried that he might have seen you.
If anyone's apologising then it should be him for going into your room.
I would not say a thing though. He knows you have sex, but it's in the "la la la, not thinking about it" part of his brain!

He knows you have sex, but it's in the "la la la, not thinking about it" part of his brain!

This has just brought back childhood memories of my best friend passing on her sketchy knowledge of ‘the facts of life’ and me sticking my fingers in my ears and singing ‘lalala I’m not listening to you’!!!

Rosscameasdoody · 03/08/2024 13:57

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

I’ve just choked on my coffee - it’s all over my t shirt and splattered all over the screen !! Well done !!🤣. Apt username for the subject matter by the way !!

Ecstaticmotion · 03/08/2024 13:59

Please raise it and have a proper conversation about how it was accidental but that also sex is normal and healthy…

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