To think she's gearing up to cancel?

[SunflowerMabel]

Last year the mum of my DC's friend kindly offered for her to join them on a mini break they had planned this year. I paid for her share of the accommodation and food (around £300)

Getting together has been a bit more tricky since they started (different) schools but we generally met up once a month or so.

So, they are due to go on on this mini break on Monday and I haven't heard back from mum. I text last weekend suggesting we meet up for lunch/an activity and asked for confirmation RE what time they'd be leaving to get to the destination etc and I haven't heard anything back at all.

She has been active on social media. I don't want to pester her but I'm getting a bit concerned that there's a cancellation coming. Surely there would be some contact by now if it was going ahead?

AIBU/WWYD?

Just phone her.

Pick up the phone

Yes, phone her. That’d be shit of her to cancel, disappointing for DC. assume she’d pay the money back.

Oh god, that's stressful.

Yes, phone her.

Are the DC's still good friends? Do they message each other (if old enough?)

What was your last interaction? Have the girls fallen out? What does your daughter say about it?

It’s very strange behaviour and agree with PP that a phone call is needed.

Phoning is the logical thing to do yes 🤣

I don't think we've ever called one another in the entire time we've known each other. Only text and WhatsApp. I must have some form of social anxiety as the idea of calling somebody uninvited fills me with dread, unless its a Gen Z thing!

I'll give my head a wobble.

You get more out of a phone call. Pick up the phone to ask the arrangements.

I'm pretty sure I've never actually phoned most of the friends made in the last few years either, OP!!!

Usually WhatsApp to make arrangements arrangements, then talk in real life.

Needs must though. If there are problems, she should have let you know,

The girls are both about to go up to year 1, so still really young. They rely on us to keep the friendship going. I do try my best to meet up when I can but I also have a child with special needs and I have to base these meet ups around my work and OH (night worker) being off work to have DS. Plus her mums work commitments, the kids hobbies etc. It can be difficult to find a time that aligns these days but we generally see one another once a month.

No fall out between the girls that I'm aware of. They could sometimes bicker but no actual fall out.

I'm wondering if because they don't see one another as much these days DD's friends would rather DD not come, or she go with somebody else, which I can completely understand but it's a bit crap for DD as its all paid for and she's excited to go 😕

The last contact was on WhatsApp a couple of weeks ago.

Wow that’s very young to be going away with another family! I wouldn’t be sending my 5 year old away with someone who I wasn’t really, really close to and definitely not someone who doesn’t reply to my messages. I’d be glad if it’s cancelled to be honest, hope you get your money back.

Even if that's true it would outrageous for her to cancel without discussing it with you since you've already paid £300.

Ah, I thought they must be older.

Gosh. Taking non-related 5 year olds away on holiday - she's a better woman than me!!!

Hope you get it sorted OP.

You've already paid? Ring her today!

Oh gosh, give her a call OP!

Does anyone use a phone to talk into anymore? Or actually know how to have a RL conversation with a person, particularly when they need an answer to something
You have handed over £300 and have left it this long to check whether or not the thing you have paid for is happening? You've more money to spaff away than I

Yeah I know what you mean.

Initially the invitation was for me and DD to both go but at the point of invitation I was waiting for a date for a fairly serious operation plus juggling my other two children (one having special needs) and didn't want to / couldn't commit to anything. Booking was time sensitive as mum wanted to book whilst already at said holiday park on holiday as you then get a discounted rate.

The girls were both so excited at the prospect of going together (it had been mentioned infront of them earlier) and with mum assuring me that it's no bother at all to take her, I let my guard down and agreed she could go. She works in safeguarding and is a fab parent so I had no worries about her caring for DD.

Maybe it is for the best if it doesn't go ahead.

Phone her and do it at a time when you think she will be at home. Early evening?

I think your instincts are correct that she is avoiding you so she can cancel. I would definitely phone her soon.

My daughter didn't even go to sleepover with good friends until age 7 or 8.

I'll never forget when we reciprocated one girl waking me crying repeatedly through the night as she missed mummy.

Won't she get homesick?

Phone her and ask outright

Make sure you get your money back if she does cancel!

I'll give her a call this evening. I definitely don't want to foist DD on them if one or both have changed their mind as that wouldn't be fair on anybody and I'd spend the duration worrying if I wasn't sure she was welcome/wanted 😕

I'm in two minds atm. The other option being to just say nothing and leave it as it is.. prep DD for a change of plan.. and tell mum not to worry about it when she eventually gets in touch to apologise/cancel.

She's definitely not the type to diddle somebody out of money so I'm not worried about that aspect

Her not wanting to meet you separately in the week before holidays is not likely to be related. I'm stunned you would consider sending away a 5yo for a week with another family, is when stranger given the girls are at different schools. If you really can't pick up the phone then just be direct "Are you still ok for the holiday or would you prefer not to take DD this year? No problem either way."

Is your DD really going to want to be away from you for so long? Especially with an adult she doesn't actually know very well?

I don't think either of you have really thought this through very well 🙈

She's had sleep overs but I appreciate that's very different. I reasoned that with the fact that I could get there via train in an hour so - if she did get upset or want to come home I could zip across and get her no problem.