To think she's gearing up to cancel?

[SunflowerMabel]

Last year the mum of my DC's friend kindly offered for her to join them on a mini break they had planned this year. I paid for her share of the accommodation and food (around £300)

Getting together has been a bit more tricky since they started (different) schools but we generally met up once a month or so.

So, they are due to go on on this mini break on Monday and I haven't heard back from mum. I text last weekend suggesting we meet up for lunch/an activity and asked for confirmation RE what time they'd be leaving to get to the destination etc and I haven't heard anything back at all.

She has been active on social media. I don't want to pester her but I'm getting a bit concerned that there's a cancellation coming. Surely there would be some contact by now if it was going ahead?

AIBU/WWYD?

Gosh that is young, l assumed they were at secondary school!

The mum has proved a bit flaky by not letting you know plans. I wouldn't be letting her take my 5 year old away at this point because of that if nothing else. Ask her for the money back so you can do something nice for your dd.

I think she is going to cancel which is a bit shitty that she is not being upfront. I don’t blame her for having second thoughts but she should communicate it.

I hope you get this resolved today OP.

I'd be suspicious that she's already on holiday and there is no mini break.

You're happy for your 5 yr old to go away for a week with a women you don't feel comfortable enough phoning?

Really?

Hope she rings back soon.

I've phoned! She hasn't answered.

Please dont let people's opinions on here suddenly sway you with a question you didn't even ask!

No on else knows the mum, or the relationship between the kids, or the interactions etc. Just because one parent wouldn't have their child going on holiday at 5 doesn't mean someone else shouldn't, and also doesn't mean the child won't have an amazing time.

Have a contingency plan in place to make sure you can get to your child, and make the decision based on you and your child

Oh for goodness sake, the OP has already acknowledged the phone issue, and explained, several times, her reasoning around the trip ( not that she should have had to, since that wasn’t the question, and therefore isn’t really anyone else’s place to judge).

Also,once a month sounds like regular, frequent meetups to me between quite committed, close friends, considering the constraints in question.

I hope people aren't insinuating that I'm making this up. What a silly thing to lie about.

I'm a longstanding poster under my other username. I've only changed my name to post this as I'm part of a long running series of threads on the weight loss board and all of the details in this post are identifiable. I don't want my usernames to be linked and me recognised. I'll be reverting back to my regular username after this thread.

You posted on an anonymous site asking for advice.

Here's my advice. Give your head a wobble. Don't send your 5 yr old off on trips just because you're struggling with your SEN child (got one myself before anyone says anything) Send your 5 yr old to be with your Mum if you need a break not some random school mum.

5? Not fifteen. FIVE. A week is far too long for a five year old with a woman who soundsl flakey at best and you barely know and who you get anxiety about even just phoning. What happens if she goes on the holiday and then doesn't pick up the phone to you the whole time? I would'n't be bothered about a cancellation, I would take it as a blessing from the university that someone stepped in to stop a very poor parenting decision.

Yes in other countries kids go on school trips overnight at 5 and 6. My friends daughter definitely did in Spain.

So what's the difference with kids that do that that they aren't all getting homesick, crying for Mummy to get them etc

Although as PP said pick up the bloody phone and ask the woman what's happening

give the mother the benefit of the doubt for today, sats can be busy for families
if you were only talking about it a couple of weeks ago, lets not jump to any conclusions

Well done for trying to call. Keep at it! 😀

There is no way on this planet I’d send my 5yo to Butlins with some acquaintances.

It doesn't matter what happens in "other countries". Or "a friend's daughter". Anecdotes don't really help, she just wanted advice as she was wobbly and unsure because the other parent hadn't been in touch. She's obviously getting a bit concerned, so people are advising, based on that.
However, she's awaiting a response from said parent, so we shall see what the outcome is.

I can only speak for me OP and I know that I couldn’t do it. I didn’t feel comfortable letting my children holiday without me until my youngest was eleven and that was him and his older brother going away with their father for two weeks and even then I said their dad had to send me updates every day lol (to be fair they were abroad). At five no way.

It’s not just how I would feel but how a five year old would feel. I’d have been distraught at that age to be away from my parents.

Very true, but if it was a call from the mum of a 5 year old you're taking on holiday, you'd think she'd get back quickly.

OP you mentioned 'ADHD tax'. Suggest you take a step back and work out how much of your worries here might be RSD rather than what's actually happening. From what you've said (and particularly the update on the discussion around two weeks ago) I think this being that your friend is planning to cancel but just doesn't know how to say that is possible but unlikely. What is far more likely is that she knows they're going on Monday, she knows you know that, and she hasn't gotten around to setting a time. Not great but as I said I wonder if RSD is leaving you to read something into this that isn't there.

Maybe she does want to cancel and doesn't know how to say but given you've paid and have had recent contact about it, she's leaving that incredibly late.

On whether it's too young to send her away - completely depends on you and your child. If you don't want to - cancel but don't change your mind because people on Mumsnet are horrified anyone would agree to this at 5. Your DD wants to go and that's a big thing. With a friend I trusted I'd have let my DD go at 5 in the circumstances you described. My own parents left me for a week with an aunt at 5 to go on holiday and whilst some would say that was family, for various reasons I knew my aunt and her family far less well than it seems your DD knows your friend. Only you can say whether this holiday is in the best interests of your child.