Sister keeps asking when I will move my family out of my parents’ house

[KindNavyJoker]

Dh and I emigrated back to the UK with the kids after living abroad for 5 years. I have 3 young children aged 5,3 and 1.

Whilst dh and I get situated we are staying with my parents. We are lucky that they live in a beautiful home a short walking distance from a lovely high st. And the train into London is only a short walk away. My parents encouraged dh and I to enjoy the summer with them before jumping into setting up house. I appreciate this a lot.

It’s going well. I do my best to be a good house guest and so do my kids and dh.

Anyway, my sister was visiting (dropped off her kids for free babysitting before buggering off to pub) and whilst we were having a drink very directly started asking about my plans. And how I don’t want to take the piss etc. She pointed out how messy the living/diner/kitchen was ie cluttered with toys. But tbh I don’t see how this is relevant to her. I make sure to tidy up before my parents return from work.

I think us being here is more inconvenient for my sister as she has lost her second space. She had my nephew’s birthday party at my parents house - in the main space my kids and I spend most of our time. Didn’t even bother to ask me. Just announced it.

AIBU in thinking I am doing absolutely nothing wrong. My parents suggested exactly what I am doing.

We are having a great Summer after a stressful move before having to move to a cheaper, less picturesque area most likely.

“Didn’t even bother to ask me.” - she didn’t need to ask you. It’s not your house. She needed to ask your parents.

You both sound a bit entitled & spoilt.

I came here to say exactly what the first two posters have said

I think she’s just adjusting to you being back and monopolising your parents’ place. Maybe the shared attention for her and dc.

Is she worried you’ll stay long term and it has a big impact on her lifestyle? Tell her your plans and change the subject. If she goes on about it, say something about how lucky you both are having accommodating parents who do so much for both of you and your dc.

Why would your sister need to ask you for permission to use your parents house?

Have you started looking for somewhere to live? Are you intending to buy or rent? Has the 5yo got a school place for Sept?

Could your parents have been complaining to her in private? I'd have a quiet word with your parents and make sure they are still 100% happy with the arrangement, don't ever that just assume that because they agreed to it they're not getting a bit fed up of so many people in the house. If you are sure you're parents are okay with everything then just tell your sister that your parents are okay with the arrangements so it shouldn't bother her in the slightest? It really is none of her business.

So what if they drop their kids off for babysitting though?? Bit of an odd statement.

well, tbh is better to say nothing to her and tell your parents. What else you can do

Your sister is jealous you have free rent and monopoly of the home at the moment - wants her life like ?

Why would your sister ask you about using your parent's house?

She had my nephew’s birthday party at my parents house - in the main space my kids and I spend most of our time. Didn’t even bother to ask me. Just announced it.

Why on earth would she ask you - it's not your house!

You both sound a bit entitled. Have you made any effort to look for somewhere else to live?

I do f get why she would ask you?

Anyway, my sister was visiting (dropped off her kids for free babysitting before buggering off to pub)

Says the other sister who moved her entire family in and live for free.

I think your sister is used to have parents house and all their attention to herself while you’ve been abroad and she is not pleased now.
The birthday party is quite telling. Yes, she didn’t need your permission for the party but it’s worth mentioning in case you’ve planned something.
However you should be careful not to overstate your welcome so I would intensify the search of the house, it’s not an easy task.

The summer you were asked to stay for is nearly over- what are your plans for moving? You do sound rather ‘comfortable’ for a temporary stay. As for the party - yeah - not your house…. Time to stand on your feet again.

Does your sister own half of the house? I only ask, as your story sounds almost identical to a social media influencer I follow (but won’t name as likely to be wrong).

Yes, this comment was ridiculous.

Aside from that, it’s none of your sister’s business. You both sound like you feel you’re entitled to your parents home though.

She took advantage of free babysitting... at least she wasn't taking advantage of free accommodation. 😉

Both of you sound very entitled.

Quite

Point out she gets free child care. You get board and lodgings. If any money exchanges hands from you to dps point that out. Even if you don't it's not her business.

This….

You have been invited to stay for summer but I would assume that you already know where and when your next move is given that "summer" will be over in a few weeks. If you don't have any idea of where you will be living in a few weeks time then I'd be concerned if I was your parent.

You're not being unreasonable that it's none of your sisters business that you're staying at your folks. Just like it's none of your business that they babysit for her and let her use their home for parties.

Maybe your DM asked her to have a word

@KindNavyJoker - do you realise how oddly judgy you sound? You seem to sniff at your sister leaving her DCs with their grandparents so she can go out. And you complain that she didn’t ask you for permission to hold her child’s party in your parents’ home. Why should she ask you? I’m not sure you realise how you’re coming across but you sound very judgy and dismissive of your sister. Have you always had a tricky relationship? Or could this just be a process of adjusting to being back in the UK and close to family?

Your parents must have so much patience.