Sister keeps asking when I will move my family out of my parents’ house

[KindNavyJoker]

Dh and I emigrated back to the UK with the kids after living abroad for 5 years. I have 3 young children aged 5,3 and 1.

Whilst dh and I get situated we are staying with my parents. We are lucky that they live in a beautiful home a short walking distance from a lovely high st. And the train into London is only a short walk away. My parents encouraged dh and I to enjoy the summer with them before jumping into setting up house. I appreciate this a lot.

It’s going well. I do my best to be a good house guest and so do my kids and dh.

Anyway, my sister was visiting (dropped off her kids for free babysitting before buggering off to pub) and whilst we were having a drink very directly started asking about my plans. And how I don’t want to take the piss etc. She pointed out how messy the living/diner/kitchen was ie cluttered with toys. But tbh I don’t see how this is relevant to her. I make sure to tidy up before my parents return from work.

I think us being here is more inconvenient for my sister as she has lost her second space. She had my nephew’s birthday party at my parents house - in the main space my kids and I spend most of our time. Didn’t even bother to ask me. Just announced it.

AIBU in thinking I am doing absolutely nothing wrong. My parents suggested exactly what I am doing.

We are having a great Summer after a stressful move before having to move to a cheaper, less picturesque area most likely.

Oh please let this be C and her sister on MN complaining about each other. That would be comedy gold 😂

Went away for five years, comes back and wants to rile her parents home..

It's their home not hers, her sister doesn't need permission from her for a party.

I notice that OP won't answer the question as to why her sister should ask her permission.

Very telling.

She’ll have to comment on it even if it’s not, there’s no way she’ll let this lie when she hears about it 🤣

I wonder if your parents have complained to your sister. Tbh you both sound entitled. Have you looked around for your own house. Your sister doesn't have to ask you to use your parents house for the party only your parents. Sounds like your parents think you over stayed your welcome. How long have you been there

Thinking that she needs your permission to have a party in her parents' house is the funniest thing I've read on here.

What is it with the growing trend on here that if someone has a nice situation, people will tie themselves in knots to make them U one?! Its always been a thing, but I have noticed in the last couple of years its got so bad.

Envy is not a good look!

@KindNavyJoker Sounds like in the 5 years you were away your sister got used to being the "only" DD around and the only one who needed childcare. Now you are back, and your parents have been so welcoming, she resents that she is now going have to share their time. She has got used to them being at her beck and call, and now they're not.

Her "When are you moving? Dont take the piss" is actually "Just fuck off, I like my life the way it is thank you and I dont want you fucking that up".

I would have a conversation with your parents to check that they really are happy with things as they are, maybe mention that your sister has said that they might not be happy and you dont want to take the piss. If they insist they are ok then take them at their word and dont go to the pub with your sister anymore.

Rile her parent home? Are you feeling ok? When did she say that? After being away for 5 years I'm sure her parents don't mind a bit of a messy house with toys for the sake of their grandchildren they haven't seen for years. Like I said - some of us care about our families even if you don't think it's normal.

Mummypleaseleavemyhouse

Are you planning to rent or buy? Have you started looking for a house?

The whole process of renting can take a while, looking for a suitable place, filing in the admin, sorting money etc. Will you be able up renting you’re not earning, or have you got alot of savings behind you.

You don’t sound like you’re making any active plans to find somewhere yet.

Quite. I know several people who have done this. And one couple who "split up" and dad rented a studio flat in the naice area then they "got back together" once their son was settled in the school

@PyongyangKipperbang The thing is, even if op asks her parents if everything is okay, are they really likely to say no?

Sone of us care enough to not come bs k and complain about our sister having a party in her parents house!

How dare OP start ruling what happens in her parents home, they managed five years without her interference!

Possibly not but the point is, they invited her, they wanted her there for the whole summer and all parties were happy with that. Even if they have changed their mind, then its up to them to say something not the sister.

I stand by what I said, that the sister is pissed off not the parents.

Why are you avoiding answering why your sister needs to ask YOU 'permission' to host a birthday in your JOINT parents house.

Because she just doesn't want to!

Because there is no good reason.

So on the fact that neither of you are working, the house a mess, your kids shit is everywhere, you get worked up about your sister hosting a party in a house that isn't yours, I really think deep down the parents aren't that thrilled about you and your lot being there.

Does Caroline's sister own half her mum's house?

Even if they were trying to rebuild their lives after coming back from another country? My family would pull together and help our siblings out...same way OPs parents have. Some of the replies on here are quite bizarre. As for "sitting around the house all day". Really? With 3 kids? Won't be much sitting getting done.

I think i’m thinking of same person! Probably many people in similar situation

@mumbleberry AFAIK, I think C spoke about it quite a while ago, it's because the sister renovated the house I think.

How are you on maternity leave if your youngest is 1 and you’ve just moved from abroad this summer, what are you on maternity leave from, are you getting maternity pay and will you be going back to work?

I guess it means she not working at the moment.

@Izzynohopanda which isn't maternity leave!

For the moment, OP and her family are residing in the house, while the sister is not. It is customary to check that one won't be inconveniencing the residents.