Sister keeps asking when I will move my family out of my parents’ house

[KindNavyJoker]

Dh and I emigrated back to the UK with the kids after living abroad for 5 years. I have 3 young children aged 5,3 and 1.

Whilst dh and I get situated we are staying with my parents. We are lucky that they live in a beautiful home a short walking distance from a lovely high st. And the train into London is only a short walk away. My parents encouraged dh and I to enjoy the summer with them before jumping into setting up house. I appreciate this a lot.

It’s going well. I do my best to be a good house guest and so do my kids and dh.

Anyway, my sister was visiting (dropped off her kids for free babysitting before buggering off to pub) and whilst we were having a drink very directly started asking about my plans. And how I don’t want to take the piss etc. She pointed out how messy the living/diner/kitchen was ie cluttered with toys. But tbh I don’t see how this is relevant to her. I make sure to tidy up before my parents return from work.

I think us being here is more inconvenient for my sister as she has lost her second space. She had my nephew’s birthday party at my parents house - in the main space my kids and I spend most of our time. Didn’t even bother to ask me. Just announced it.

AIBU in thinking I am doing absolutely nothing wrong. My parents suggested exactly what I am doing.

We are having a great Summer after a stressful move before having to move to a cheaper, less picturesque area most likely.

How have you got a school place without a permanent address??

Can’t be her, the SPAG is far too good and OP hasn’t insulted any posters yet 😂

How long have you been there so far and how much longer do you plan to stay?

It’s none of your sisters business but if I were your parent I would be concerned that you don’t have alternative housing organised. These things don’t happen quickly and there is just a few weeks left of summer.

Do you have savings set aside for this?

Both of you need to stop relying on your parents. Poor them.

I thought the exact same thing!

The fact you think your sister should have to ask you for permission to have a party in a house that’s not yours suggests you think you somehow have some ownership of this house or are a higher priority than her, which is probably pissing her off. Hence the questions about you leaving.

@GlenCoco4 good point

Honestly you both sound very alike. You’re both snippy and snarky about the other for no real reason at all. You’re not taking the piss because you were invited, you are taking the piss because you seem to believe you have rights to decision making over your parents house. She is not taking the piss to (presumably!) continue as she has for the past (at least!) 5 years while you’ve been abroad as that’s obviously worked fine for her and your parents, she is taking the piss to be trying to chivvy you out of your parents house.

Hah! Immediately thought the same

How exactly does OP sound in any way spoilt? Her parents invoted her.

You don't know what your mum is saying to your sister. Dhs brother and his family are staying with mil for a while and mil is all oh it's so lovely to have them to his face but complains a lot about the noise, the lack of personal space, the kids being left with her, taking over the kitchen at meal times etc. Maybe your sister feels like she is doing your mum a favour by encouraging you to get a move on. Sometimes the idea of living with family is far nicer than the reality.

“Didn’t even bother to ask me.” - she didn’t need to ask you. It’s not your house. She needed to ask your parents.

Exactly,

Feel sorry for your parents

Because she obviously lied on the application and gave her parents address. Unless there is a massive drip feed here and she has a house sorted and ready to move in next month!

Thanks for not taking offence by my question.

Mummysflippinhouse is the lady I was referring to. Your stories are very, very similar.

To be fair I'd be a bit judgy if my sibling and their husband were living rent free and with my parents with their kids and both sat around the house all day...until September

My mum is exactly like that. Has a nervous breakdown after two weeks of my sibling with two toddlers staying but would never tell them to their face.

@Gettingbysomehow by expecting her DS to ask her about hosting a birthday party in her parents home?

What's it got to do with OP? It's very spoilt and entitled to presume i/"she should be consulted?

Also deciding that DS should ask for babysitting in a certain way and not just go off to the pub, that's between DS and her DPs.

Do you not agree?

Jesus some people are harsh here. There is nothing entitled about staying at your parents for a bit, and for them to help you out and enjoy you staying while you sort yourselves out for the summer. It's what families do. I'm from Europe and this is normal for families, maybe not so much here in UK. Your sister was probably just wanting to know what's happening. You've been aboard for ages so she wants to know. Even if it's your parents house, you are staying there at the moment so I think it would have been normal for her to say 'we'd like to have e DH's birthday here' etc...

Please explain why your sister should ask you for permission to host her child's birthday party in your parents' house.

Hahah no insults is a telltale sign that this can’t be Mummysflippinhouse.

My eldest has a place at school and we are looking for houses.

How long have you been there already and how long are you planning on staying?

Having 5 extra guests for more than a couple of weeks is a lot to put on someone and I think your sister is right for saying what your parents are probably thinking.

Your parents sound lovely and accommodating but they sound like they are the type to not say no.

I’m sure they’re finding having 5 extra people living in their home a big change and they’ll be relieved when they finally do get their home back.

Why would it be normal.. the norm may have been they always had the DGC party there, during the five years PP was gone?

Incredible that OP’s life is almost identical to Mummysflippinhouse!