Sister keeps asking when I will move my family out of my parents’ house

[KindNavyJoker]

Dh and I emigrated back to the UK with the kids after living abroad for 5 years. I have 3 young children aged 5,3 and 1.

Whilst dh and I get situated we are staying with my parents. We are lucky that they live in a beautiful home a short walking distance from a lovely high st. And the train into London is only a short walk away. My parents encouraged dh and I to enjoy the summer with them before jumping into setting up house. I appreciate this a lot.

It’s going well. I do my best to be a good house guest and so do my kids and dh.

Anyway, my sister was visiting (dropped off her kids for free babysitting before buggering off to pub) and whilst we were having a drink very directly started asking about my plans. And how I don’t want to take the piss etc. She pointed out how messy the living/diner/kitchen was ie cluttered with toys. But tbh I don’t see how this is relevant to her. I make sure to tidy up before my parents return from work.

I think us being here is more inconvenient for my sister as she has lost her second space. She had my nephew’s birthday party at my parents house - in the main space my kids and I spend most of our time. Didn’t even bother to ask me. Just announced it.

AIBU in thinking I am doing absolutely nothing wrong. My parents suggested exactly what I am doing.

We are having a great Summer after a stressful move before having to move to a cheaper, less picturesque area most likely.

I assume you have a new home lined up because summers over in a months time

Is this a reverse?

Love how 'free babysitting before buggering off to the pub' is somehow worse than 'entire free summer holiday within a short train ride of London'.

Surely ‘come and stay for the summer when you get here’ means ‘while you look for a house’

Not - come here and enjoy a great summer, then when the summer is over, start looking for a house that will take another 3/6/9 months, so stay with us for a whole year..

And YY to why the hell would she have to ask your permission to have a party!!

Your thread title says "keeps" asking. How many times has she asked?
Your reply is "Mum invited us for the Summer."
Term starts soon - I assume in 5 weeks time, you'll have relocated for school.

Yeah this! So much entitlement and drama between them.

Ridiculous.

my sister was visiting (dropped off her kids for free babysitting before buggering off to pub) and whilst we were having a drink

So... you buggered off to the pub too then?

This whole post is phrased so oddly!

From what I've read this is what I'm thinking:

• your sister might be being protective of your parents, you did leave the country for 5 years and now you're back taking up her space leaving your stuff everywhere.

• your parents have been venting to her

This

Unless she is asking on behalf of your parents or out of concern for them, which she clearly isn't because they told you to stay and enjoy the summer, tell her to mind her own business. If that doesn't work, tell her to piss off.

This is not the first time sister asked about plans but first time she inferred I was no longer welcome.

My eldest has a place at school and we are looking for houses.

So both you and your husband are unemployed and hanging around at your parents house every day ? How are you affording to pay for your food and towards the bills?

I see that your parents are both out at work all day so I assume you and your husband are doing all the housework, cooking etc ?

what’s your date for moving into your new house, starting work and your children starting school and nursery ?

I think your parents had a word in her ear…

Your parents have graciously offered you somewhere to stay for a while. That doesn't mean your family with 3 very young children being there is easy for them. If I was your sister I would be equally concerned that you're likely to take advantage of your parents goodwill for an indefinite amount of time.

dropped off her kids for free babysitting before buggering off to pub

pot - kettle - black

Why would she ask you, and not your parent, about the birthday?
Have you started actively looking for housing yet?

Why would she ask you about the birthday party?

You've been absent for five years, everyone coped without you, you come back like the prodigal son.

Time to move on.

Are either of you working?

I suppose it's up to your parents what they do with the house. Your nephew having a party at your mums house is literally nothing to do with you!

I am still on maternity leave and my husband starts his new job in September

No I am not an influencer. May I ask who you are talking about just out of curiosity

Who was looking after your kids whilst you buggered off to the pub?

Why can't your sister have her DPs babysit, so she can bugger off to the pub?

Again you've been gone five years and people have sorted babysitting etc, it's not up to you to come bs j and decide what your parents should or shouldn't do!

Wouldn't surprise me if your parents expected you to have made plans for jobs and houses by now and you could therefore settle down to wait until moving into your new pad date comes around.

Rather than you settling in there to a house you clearly would love to own but prob can't afford to.

Do you have jobs?

I can understand why your sister isn't best pleased as her easy life appears to have been changed! But she should suck that up as you've been abroad and missed out a lot.

But you need to be getting housing arrangements made and dates in diaries for moving out and then settle down to enjoy the summer safe in the knowledge that you have a job and home to go to.

Is this a reverse?
you are enjoying a lovely summer with 3 small kids in your DH parents house, you say yourself it’s a mess now, neither you nor DH work atm and you come here to complain about your sister?

OP, we did exactly what you did - relocated back to the UK and stayed with parents for the summer. We hadn't seen them in years so it was a lovely opportunity for them to get to know DC while we looked for work and schools. We made sure we pulled our weight, but you can't keep things looking perfect with young DC. When we all look back we are very grateful we had that summer together.

If your parents are happy and you have a plan of what to do next then you're fine.

Caroline just buy a house love

@KindNavyJoker you're still on maternity leave from where? You're employed by who?