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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that my child is unlikely to be abducted from a soft play centre

112 replies

Spero · 14/04/2008 14:36

A few days ago I offered to take a friend's daughter along with mine to a soft play centre. My dd is 3, hers is 5. I was being completely selfish because my dd has a much better time if not on her own.

Friend refused on basis that she has recently seen a TV programme where a child was abducted by a paedophile from a soft play centre by a man posing as a father who then escaped via the fire exit.

I had never ever considered abduction a risk at a soft play centre. Now i am wracked with guilt because a good five minutes can go by at one of those places without me having any idea where dd is (althought that big pit with all the balls is a good bet) and I had always thought the worst thing that could happen is that she would fall over and get a bump.

Am now paranoid. Should I revert to following my dd alround the equipment (which is both knackering and undignified) or is my friend being a bit OTT?

OP posts:

parallellife · 14/04/2008 14:41

Our local soft play has an alarm on the fire exit.

sophiewd · 14/04/2008 14:42

I do think that your friend is being OTT, I think abductions like these are rare.

NotDoingTheHousework · 14/04/2008 14:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

mrsruffallo · 14/04/2008 14:43

She is being overcautious.

I imagine it is extremely rare for anything like this to happen
Let her play

rookiemater · 14/04/2008 14:44

Is this a real life event or did it happenin a tv drama.

I just ask, because I read the Daily Mail as its free at work, and if such a thing had happened I'm sure they would have had lots of features about it to make sure those uppity mothers didn't try to have five minutes peace to themselves to drink a quick coffee.

Original poster

Spero · 14/04/2008 14:45

Thanks for your reassurance. I really couldn't face climbing around after her again. its the pitying looks from six year olds that are the hardest to bear.

OP posts:

SueBaroo · 14/04/2008 14:47

I would say OTT. Someone could come into my back garden and take one of my kids, but I still let them play out there. I don't have a sign-in system, either.

I mean, fair enough it's her choice, but it is a bit paranoid, imo.

Original poster

Spero · 14/04/2008 14:47

Rookiemater! Yes i did quiz her a bit, saying but has this ever happened??? and she admitted that as far as she knew only on this TV drama but she said it would be 'very easy' to abduct even a quite large child with use of some sort of sedative...

I'm torn between worrying that I DONT consider these things and then being glad that I don't

OP posts:

Stais86 · 14/04/2008 14:47

LOL. Think your friend is being a bit paranoid of course it's a risk nowadays the sad fact is these 'human beings' know where to go and where they will be accepted as a prent! But I must say you can't stop taking your child to places like that don't feel guilty because as long as you make note of roughly where your child is just by glancing or shouting on them if you cant see them every few mintes this may sound a bit obssessive to you but it really is simple and you probably do t anyway without even noticing!

cestlavie · 14/04/2008 14:48

No. Your friend is absolutely right. We should duct tape our children to our living room floors, lock down our houses and stand guard over them with semi-automatics. If anyone at all comes to the front door, they should be gunned down like a rabid dog in a street as a preventative measure - I actually heard of a paedophile who disguised himself as a 5 year old boy and sucked a toddler out through the letter box with a vacuum cleaner so be warned.

Bridie3 · 14/04/2008 14:51

;)

Original poster

Spero · 14/04/2008 14:51

cestlavie I'm torn (again) between wanting to lol and then having a horrid vision of my friend nodding her head seriously and adding 'duct tape' to her next shopping list.

OP posts:

littlepinkpixie · 14/04/2008 14:52

Not sure how easy it would be to sedate a child in a soft play centre.
Most of these places only have one exit anyway, with alarmed fire exits.
You will be hearing about cobras in the ball pool next, or some other urban myth!

chuggabopps · 14/04/2008 14:52

Think it was an episode of CSI - a little girl was taken, hair cut short and redressed in boys clothes to disguise her on the way out. To be fair to the programme makers it was shown in the context that all reasonable risk was minimised, such as having cctv on site etc. So whilst I can understand the worry caused by the programme, they usually have supermodels killed in nightclubs type crimes on that show, so if anything it shows how rare such things occour, not how likely they are.
If you want to minimise all risk in your life then you'd never get out of bed.

Original poster

Spero · 14/04/2008 14:54

I wish it had been cobras after what I smelled the last time I was dragged in there. Are these places EVER cleaned?

OP posts:

claricebeansmum · 14/04/2008 14:56

Littlepinkpixie - I just had the email - cobras in the ball ppit, along with heroin needles etc.

Stais86 · 14/04/2008 15:02

That CSI story really happened a few years ago in Spain but it was in a shopping centre not a soft play area. Therewas CCTV of it and it was a youngish guy and a woman who done it they took the little girl from outside a shop took her to the toilet shaved her hair and put on boys clothes. Dont know if she was found it was years ago!

branflake81 · 14/04/2008 15:02

Your friend is being ridiculous. yes, there might be a (tiny, teeny, pretty much non existent) risk but there are risks attached to absolutely EVERYTHING we do. You've got to have a life. Remember Dunblane? Doesn't mean every child in a PE lesson is going to be shot.

harpsichordcarrier · 14/04/2008 15:04

that story (the shopping centre one) is an urban myth - it never happened.
lol at your friend judging risk on the basis of tv programmes.
don't let her watch Buffy, whatever you do.

Bridie3 · 14/04/2008 15:06

So relieved to hear you say that. Will be able to stroll through pretty village cemetery again.

clumsymum · 14/04/2008 15:07

You know, I think some people just don't have enough to worry about in their lives, so they have to worry about those things that are soooooooo unlikely.

What REALLY bothers me about this thread is the fact that, once again, a man's presence in a children's environment is dermonised in the TV programme.
I've told this tale before but, a few years ago dh took ds and a friend to a soft-play centre one inset day. Dh sat having a coffee while the boys played. At the next table were two mums, one with a little baby, sitting in a car-carrier-seat on the floor next to her. The mums were chatting, ignoring the baby girl, and dh (who's a real softie with babies) was waving and grinning to the baby girl, keeping them both amused.
The baby's mum suddenly realised that dh was looking at her baby girl, scowled at him, and moved the baby to the other side of the table so he couldn't see her.

I think you should point out to your friend that actually her child is MUCH more likely to be killed or injured in a road accident on the way to the play centre, than sedated and abducted once you get her there.

Perhaps not.

SueBaroo · 14/04/2008 15:08

PortAndLemon · 14/04/2008 15:08

YANBU. She is being completely bonkers overprotective. Disagree with harpsi, though -- I think she should be bought a Buffy box set as that will make life far more entertaining for her spectators friends.

clumsymum · 14/04/2008 15:11

Maybe your friend should be banned from watching telly

Original poster

Spero · 14/04/2008 15:15

Better not tell her my dd's middle name is buffy. In homage of course.

OP posts:

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