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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that my child is unlikely to be abducted from a soft play centre

112 replies

Spero · 14/04/2008 14:36

A few days ago I offered to take a friend's daughter along with mine to a soft play centre. My dd is 3, hers is 5. I was being completely selfish because my dd has a much better time if not on her own.

Friend refused on basis that she has recently seen a TV programme where a child was abducted by a paedophile from a soft play centre by a man posing as a father who then escaped via the fire exit.

I had never ever considered abduction a risk at a soft play centre. Now i am wracked with guilt because a good five minutes can go by at one of those places without me having any idea where dd is (althought that big pit with all the balls is a good bet) and I had always thought the worst thing that could happen is that she would fall over and get a bump.

Am now paranoid. Should I revert to following my dd alround the equipment (which is both knackering and undignified) or is my friend being a bit OTT?

OP posts:

LIZS · 14/04/2008 15:20

Sounds like an urban myth or at very least a distortion of , possibly real, events. You'd never go out if you believed all these "risks" yet most accidents happen at home.

Stais86 · 14/04/2008 15:23

harpsichordcarrier that story was in one of the newspapers when Maddie went missing because it was near the area back when they were blaming the area for her dissapperance. That's where I first heard about it think it happened in 1996. I know they say don't believe everything you read but surely they wouldn't make that up? Would they?

SmugColditz · 14/04/2008 15:23

Oh Cestlavie you made me laugh so much with that image.

sparkleymummy · 14/04/2008 15:25

I think we must have the same friend. My friend told me a few weeks ago that she didn't want to go to soft play because men hide in the ball pits. I just thought she was bonkers.

chuggabopps · 14/04/2008 15:28

stais86- yes people do make things up for profit all the time. Several books in the vein of Child called it have been discredited as fakes, or overexagerations of past events.

edam · 14/04/2008 15:29

Men hide in the ball pits? ROFL - anyone who hid in the ball pits in my local soft play would be jumped on/kicked and hit to a point where they'd find it hard to stand up, let alone scarper with a small child!

SmugColditz · 14/04/2008 15:29

It does piss me off that being male is almost a criminal activity in itself. I do not want the world to treat my sons like this in 10 years time!

UnquietDad · 14/04/2008 15:34

I do wonder where these "storties" come from.

I heard a story that a 10-year-old girl was skipping down a country lane holding a balloon and was seized by animated scarecrows lurking in the hedge, in order to give corporeal form to one of a family of four alien beings bent on destruction.

Oh, no, sorry. That was "Doctor Who". Easy mistake to make...

Original poster

Spero · 14/04/2008 15:35

I did find it ironic, terrfying but ironic, that the same friend who was fearful of soft play abduction was happy to drive with us all in the car whilst rifling in her bag for ringing mobile and then answering said mobile, one hand on the wheel.

I think our notions of 'risk' have gone a bit arse about tit.

OP posts:

SueBaroo · 14/04/2008 15:36

Men? In ball pits? Can you go along and pick them to do manly jobs for you?

"It's alright darling, you stay at work, I'll just pop down the local soft play and get a man out of the ball pit to fix the fence for me"

sparkleymummy · 14/04/2008 15:37

You're right edam. You take your life into your own hands if you venture into one of those ball pits!

funmum21 · 14/04/2008 15:39

ROFL at SueBaroo just have a vision of all these men in ballpit waIting to be picked now.

Original poster

Spero · 14/04/2008 15:40

They would be rendered unconcious pretty swiftly by the overwhelming aroma of stale wee if they were hiding out in my local.

OP posts:

jojosmaman · 14/04/2008 15:45

Cestlavie- Your post made me think of "The Day Today" episode where they mock the medias obsession with paedophilia and have the man who disguises himself as a school to attract children.

I don't know how I ever managed to grow up, what with me playing out alone, climbing trees, having string on my mittens, not having a car seat, playing conkers, not washing my hands every five minutes (I kid you not, Cbeebies mentioned washing hands five times in about 20 mins the other day).

Anyway, I digress, yanbu!

Kitti · 14/04/2008 17:48

I'm one of these over-protective but what if this happens mothers and I can safely say that I've never really worried about soft play areas. All fire exits are alarmed anyway and if they left via the main entrance then it would be suspicious unless they left without shoes or asked for the shoes and the people on the desks might remember the child in question. Too risky. I saw a tv show about a child being taken into the toilets and given a sedative whilst the abductor tried to change her appearance but she died and he panicked and fled via the fire exit - it was without a trace or some similar show. Just a drama not real life. I think she is being too cautious and over-protective and her child will miss out on alot if she continues to react like that. She needs to calm down alittle and just to be watchful whenever she goes out to new places. The real danger is when people see no threat at all or simply don't pay enough attention. Bad things can happen anywhere at any time.

justabouta · 14/04/2008 17:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bobsmum · 14/04/2008 17:52

Spero - Twas an episode of Casualty a couple of months ago - so really really true to life .

Father had some kind of episode which left him delirious and he took another child or injured another child or something in the confusion. He died at the end of the episode and left his autistic son orphaned. Was really believable - honest.

YANBU

KerryMum · 14/04/2008 17:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bobsmum · 14/04/2008 17:56

The CSI epsiode was a good one though. Creepy paedophile had uniforms for every soft play/fast food outlet across the city stashed in his wardrobe.

Soft play had massive shut down system with alarms, lights and those security shutter thingies that decapitate people - gripping

Last time I went to a soft play some brat angel had just vommed into the ball pit - nice!

WatsTheStory · 14/04/2008 18:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

NineUnlikelyTales · 14/04/2008 18:02

FGS why would a pervert take the trouble to abduct a child from a soft play centre when he/she could just spend more time with his/her own family, like most of them do?

Some people should need a license before they are allowed to watch tv. Ah, they've already got that one covered haven't they?

harpsichordcarrier · 14/04/2008 18:45

I would have thought a person in a soft play centre without a child of their own would be wildly conspicuous

KerryMum · 14/04/2008 18:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CorrieDale · 14/04/2008 19:01

My DH overheard a woman saying to her older child 'keep an eye on [younger child], there are all kinds of weirdos in these places'. It was a children's playground, on a sunny Sunday afternoon. I was gobsmacked - it's one thing to keep an eye on your children, it's quite another to infect them with the 'there's a paedo around every corner, waiting to grab you' mentality. Statistically (yes, I know we've all heard this before, but I really think it bears repeating) most abuse takes place in the home.

mad4mybaby · 14/04/2008 19:17

i think the ball pit thing is a bit silly HOWVER alot or parents DO thing these places are perfectly safe but they are not 100% safe as are all other places you cant see you dc's.

Not to start an argument but will just say that IMVOP parents do need to be more vigilent and not just 'assume' there dcs are safe on their own. I bet the parent of the child who got snatched from the bath thought they were safe, as the parents of the girls who got taken from the garden. You cant say people are being OTT. At the end of the day id rather be OTT than risk something awful happening to my dc. It just isnt worth the risk

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