I actually can’t stand chronically late people

[Cadela]

Time blindness is not a thing. I have adhd and uncontrolled epilepsy, I know how hard it is, but constantly being late is the most disrespectful thing I think people can do.

Having to tell someone something starts half an hour later so they may show up on time is ridiculous.

It actually isn’t hard. If you have an appointment or an event, PLAN. If you can’t make it on time, get up earlier.

Yes I’m snotty because I have a friend who has no disabilities and every single time we plan something has never made it at the right time. Drives me fucking potty.

So long as they can snap out of their lethargy for half an hour.

I think yours is an extreme reaction - possibly attributable to your neuro diversity?

I'm ot sure where epilepsy fits in to this whole picture but you obviously feel it's important somehow in relation to other people being late pissing you off.

@Mymanyellow - good point 😂

Not that good a point. I've been two days early for things, and was always rocking up to the office on a weekend!

Drives me mad too op we would get on well. I dont get my friend leave on time! I get texts saying just leaving xx then she surprised when I leave if I have later apts to do.

This.

For someone with some neurodiversity you are awfully judgemental. Do people not make allowances for when you are having trouble sitting still/ not fidgeting?

Time blindness is very real. It's not that we don't see time it's that it doesn't compute well. I imagine its like someone with dyslexia trying to read. It takes an awful lot of effort and it's stressful. I am hyper aware when I have a thing I need to do at a time and it will stress me out for hours before that I might miss it or be late. It upsets me constantly, even when I'm on time. Having the time pressure taken off is like removing shoes that are rubbing, instant relief.

I am a great friend. I am caring, I have spent hours looking up legal precedents for friends needing to write complaint letters, I have helped proof read uni assignments, I have helped sort out a friends house when the clutter was overwhelming them. In return my friends are kind about the time blindness. They make the timings soft, they build in contingency, they are understanding. It is your choice if you can't handle this in a friend, but you equally bring your own baggage to your friendships and you'd do well to remember that.

I abhor lateness. To me, it absolutely says that the late person thinks their time is more important than mine. Yes, I sound unempathetic, I am not sorry.

'Time blindness' may be a thing, but then it is up to the person with it to sort out strategies so it doesn't affect other people. If they miss their own stuff (flights, court dates etc), thats on them.

I can't see many employers adjusting for it. My company couldn't (its not a reasonable adjustment - to allow some people to start work when they please)

This is worse than people being late in my opinion. Drives me nuts!!!

We’re not lethargic, we have lots of energy from being so relaxed.

I fundamentally disagree with this. When people are late I have never taken it as a personal insult or a sign they don’t think I’m important. Stuff just happens. It doesn’t bother me. I’m sometimes late, friends are sometimes late. And for those asking, yes I have missed doctors’ appointments, trains and flights, yes it has cost me a considerable amount of money in replacement train tickets and a new flight, and I used to be late for work almost every day. I’m self employed and WFH full time now which solved that issue. I think it was actually the pressure of daily commuting that took so much mental energy, now I WFH I’m on time for other things a lot mo

@Ratisshortforratthew this is me!

Yep, saw 2 of you at the airport last month, was funny although I felt sorry. Missed the flight.
How do you get on with flights and trains?

Your reaction is fairly extreme. Time blindness is a thing, whether you believe it or not. It's a lazy assumption to assert that people should just 'do better'.

I'm not time blind, but work with someone who is, and we have strategies in place to support them. They genuinely cannot help it, it's as much part of their personality as is the fact that they are also amazing at other parts of their job.

Yes it's annoying when people are late - I am early for everything because I don't like lateness either - but it's part of life's rich tapestry. I'm sure there are things about you that other people don't like - because that's just the world.

I had a SIL like this. She missed flights on at least 3 occasions I know of. She is now an ex SIL. I am not too unhappy about that.

I think it's really disrespectful to other people to be late meeting them.

I had a friend who was always always late, for years. Then one time I got held up in traffic- I had been travelling 150ish miles - and was a bit late for a meal and she couldn't cope with it at all. I was horrified how one sided her view of the importance of time was

Brilliant post.

Well next time my DS has a mega meltdown (severe autism) I will tell him to stop or we will be late meeting our friends.
Oh no wait a minute that won't work. Luckily my friends are understanding and wouldn't bitch about me on MN
Sometimes things happen that you can't control . It's not because my time is more important than there's it's because some times I have other things to deal with.

I don’t get on trains unless I’m working so I’m fine there flights I’m super for. Funny that!

My company does. I guess we are just nicer?

I've never seen so much internalised ableism in one post. Well done you, your ADHD doesn't impact you in a way that makes you late. What would you like? A prize? Pass go and collect £200?
There is so much flipping irony that you say you have diagnosed ADHD and don't believe it exists. How would you feel if someone said executive dysfunction doesn't exist because they don't have it? Do you think the doctors who diagnosed you don't have a knowledge of ADHD? Do you think the people who literally research ADHD and put together the diagnosis criteria threw it in for the craic?
Also being late IS NOT a moral issue. There are so many countries and cultures around the world where it is unreasonable to be on time. It is something that we have attached the idea of manners to. Yes there are ways people can try to combat it and reasonable adjustments to improve it but my god, get off your soapbox and touch grass.

I work for an entertainment company where customers pay a lot of money for specific time slots.

'Sorry, your host isn't here as they have adjustments for being time blind. You can start when they decide to start work'

Would that be ok with you, as a customer?

You can always tell who's had a glass of wine at this time of night😄

You get the behaviour you're are prepared to accept. My best friend is naturally late, I made it clear that immediately not accepting it early on and he's now never more than say hakf hour late (with small kids which is totally fine).

You are completely wrong, reasonable adjustments are absolutely a thing employers give and should give for time blindness. I wonder if you'd have the same attitude if it was a different disability that you don't associate with manners?

I refer you to my previos answer to another poster:

I work for an entertainment company where customers pay a lot of money for specific time slots.

'Sorry, your host isn't here as they have adjustments for being time blind. You can start when they decide to start work'

Would that be ok with you, as a customer?