I actually can’t stand chronically late people

[Cadela]

Time blindness is not a thing. I have adhd and uncontrolled epilepsy, I know how hard it is, but constantly being late is the most disrespectful thing I think people can do.

Having to tell someone something starts half an hour later so they may show up on time is ridiculous.

It actually isn’t hard. If you have an appointment or an event, PLAN. If you can’t make it on time, get up earlier.

Yes I’m snotty because I have a friend who has no disabilities and every single time we plan something has never made it at the right time. Drives me fucking potty.

You should see me @Calliopespa if I am in danger of missing a plane. Its nothing to do with respect, it's just about missing a plane. Which I have done with the late friend and lost money! It has everything to do with me.

It's pretty strange to argue that people missing planes because of late travel companions are intolerant. MN doesn't operate like the real world, I think.

Strangely enough when people are repeatedly intolerant, self-entitled and deliberately ignorant it does tend to get my back up. Weird eh? I have no problem with anything I have said on this thread. You have failed to address your ableism and think you’re funny as all fuck.

Time blindness absolutely is a real thing, just like lots of other selfish, self-centred, anti-social behaviours. Doesn't excuse any of it.

@Arlanymor you are hurling insults, you've been extremely rude to me, saying you're surprised I have friends, I'm not nice etc.

So I think @duckydoo234 has a valid point.

You are, of course, able to make useful comments on this thread if you wish. Or just revert back to type and make a crass joke about a genuine condition and equate it to murder. You have no high horse here.

@Arlanymor you really need to step away from the thread!

Now accusing me of ableism? Lashing out at anyone who doesn't agree with you? Hurling yet more insults?

Of course you do because you both think that your opinion trumps other people’s valid experiences. You have both been dismissive and arrogant.

No I haven’t been extremely rude, I have made observations based on how you have acquitted yourselves on this thread. If I was being rude you would know about it.

I do often wonder about people who ‘can’t help’ being late - what about if and when they have young children? Are they invariably late for school?

If I was being rude you would know about it.

Grow up! You sound about five years old!! I'm soooooooo scared!

@Arlanymor

Not accusing anything, your comments are objectively ableist. No lashing here - hyperbolic language - I just think what you are saying is terrible and people will read what you say and think your views are representative of the wider world.

This is a hilarious take, you know you're dead at your own funeral right? So it makes no difference when or even if people turn up?!

But yes, I will be on time to my funeral because someone else will be organising it and getting my dead body there 😂

I try incredibly hard to be on time and am often late, and thank fuck my friends and family actually like me, understand how hard I try, appreciate it's not a judgement on whose time is worth more, and don't mind, unlike most of the people on this thread who would apparently ditch otherwise perfectly good friendships over it 🤷‍♀️

I sound five years old? Read your last sentence back.

How do you know she has no disabilities? Maybe she is undiagnosed... and that's why she struggles...

The incident I was referring to didn’t involve anyone else missing a plane. It was her and her alone. No disrespect for anyone: she just struggled.

Some of us do understand.

I find if I don’t make it about me it is easier to let it go. I just go a bit late myself so I don’t sit stewing. Or take a book. Or just a chill pill.

Unless it’s at someone’s house.

Early comers are just as annoying in that situation

Well the thread is about late friends. If anyone is travelling alone and misses planes, totally up to them. I don't care. If you are travelling with me and chronically late, I will drop you.

Well said!

You and me both!

Early comers are obnoxious. In France there is a very civilised custom they call ten minutes for the hostess. They come to your home ten minutes late just to give that extra moment to reapply lipstick, change the blouse that got spattered basting the roast potatoes, fluff the cushions- whatever it is that might otherwise have you feeling flustered when guests arrive.

THIS is what I call civilised. There's nothing worse than people who turn up early at your house. I HATE it.

And that’s as it should be. I’d do the same if it were a flight.

But suggesting the person has been late solely out of disrespect for you is where the overreach creeps in.

However if it’s just for a coffee, a walk in the park etc, I don’t get all uptight and intolerant. If it was a movie I’d go in when it started and drop them a friendly text to let them know I’d done so.

I hate this too. I'm in the horrible situation where my DP is chronically late. It's because he's delaying as he doesn't want to go to the thing, and has an absolutely shitty attitude that other people can just wait around for him. Sometimes I suspect it's a power move over me. I've ended up in a bind where I lie to my friends about being stuck in traffic or whatever while he leisurely peels an apple. If I react he takes longer.

Since I am in London and rarely invited for dinner, I don't have the problem of being early. If I was, I would walk around the neighbourhood or go into a shop.

Interesting how being late is time blindness and forgivable, but being early isn't and obnoxious. Actually being early to everything can also be ADHD overcompensation.

And like most instances of good manners, it has its origins in thinking of others rather than oneself…

In other circumstances being late is not good manners; I’d never pretend it is. But I can accept sone people have a genuine struggle because they are wired differently. I’ve seen it.

It’s easier to correct though - as you say by taking a quick walk round the block.