Controlling for being angry at DH using oven

[SharpOliveHam]

Dh likes to eat healthily which means he never fries any food. Even the 1 cal spray is not acceptable. Fine.

But DH knows I’m very funny about the heat. Hate it and do very well to keep a cool house. I’m the person who goes around closing curtains, opening windows at the optimal time to keep things cool.

Just got off a work call to a sauna downstairs. DH has made himself a fry up (chicken sausages, egg, mushrooms, tomatoes). The kitchen is reading 26c - it was 22.5c when I looked at around 12 pm.

I told dh that this was really selfish behaviour. And now I’ve been called controlling.

AIBU?

Maybe the dog is menopausal?

There's a great little story by Daphne du Maurier you should read OP, it's called The Apple Tree.

He bakes eggs (it’s not a fry up if you don’t fry it) and you’re bothering your poor dogs. It’s not even that hot at 26. Batshit all round tbh.

26 degrees is not hot. There's no hot wind outside, so open a window on the shady side of your house, put on a fan, and get a breeze going.

And thank your lucky stars your DH is doing what he can to stay alive & healthy, and not put on weight as he ages.

I mean this in a nice way op but you badly need to get a grip.

You over-reaction to a non issue is frighting. You are being controlling. Honestly is there other issues going on in your life that is making you act in such an irrational manner?

no you are being ridiculous in ‘all this effort’.

The effort is your choice. And needless.

Saying ‘I am doing all this over the top stuff so you must abide by my rules’ is controlling and ridiculous

Having the oven blasting for one meal is environmentally unfriendly, costly, wasteful of energy - & completely daft on a hot day!! I totally get your sensitivity to heat too, as I was like that even pre-menopause! It's also bad for brain functioning, if you're working from home/studying etc. Cooler temperatures help your thinking to be more acute.

Get him an air fryer & enjoy your cooler house & lower bills ...

“but darling, surely it’s not a crime to cook a sausage in this 26’C heat…”

Also, unless the dogs have diagnosed health issues (in which case I would certainly be sympathetic), they will cope. Yes, it's hot, but as long as they have shade and plenty of cool water they'll be fine. Dogs in the Middle East and Africa survive far hotter temperatures.

I find it weird that he's cooking a fry up in the oven, surely just leave the frozen sausages and do the other bits in a pan? It's sensible to not put the oven on in this heat.

I can understand your point OP, my house heats up ridiculously and I try not to use the oven on hot days as it heats up the whole downstairs and won't cool off quickly. If it was the only cool place for my pets I'd be worried too.

I think if you've expected him to read your mind, then you've come off as controlling and BU but if you've had previous conversations about keeping the house cool by shutting blinds, not having oven on etc then he is BU.

You need to sort out your anxiety about the heat, this is a you issue. Your DH should be able to make himself a hot lunch if he wants.

My poor dogs have thick, long coats that cannot be shaved. Double coated.

@SharpOliveHam is this really how you think?! Honestly? This is insanely controlling and dramatic.

It's 28 degrees and the dogs have cold towels, it's not 48 degrees and they are outside

Well then you got the wrong dogs for this climate.

It’s not needless. I have double coated dogs.

Is your entire house open plan, or does your kitchen have a door on it? I don't understand how the entire household has been affected by the kitchen being warmer as a result of your H cooking himself lunch?

Unless there is some spectacular backstory, then yes YABU. I know it's hot. But kitchens are literally designed for cooking. Cooking tends to generate heat. This is not an unforeseen consequence and I don't see why it would impact keeping other parts of the house - or your dogs - cool. Unless you are literally trying to put frozen towels on your dogs in the kitchen whilst they lay in front of the range?!

You do realize a fan does absolutely nothing to lower temperatures?

Hate it and do very well to keep a cool house. I’m the person who goes around closing curtains, opening windows at the optimal time to keep things cool.
Who's giving you praise for the cool house and telling you you're 'doing well?

Do not countries not eat hot foods then by OPs logic?

Oh poor dogs..... I think they'll live with your DH using the oven though!

You're not liking being told YABU and controlling are you?

Yabvu

I've got a photo of my dog snuggled underneath her blanket on the sofa in 40 degree heat. She's stupid. I think, OP, you are attributing your feelings to everything in the vicinity. Your DH isn't feeling the heat like you are. The dogs, chances are, aren't feeling the heat like you are - dogs put themselves where they feel cool, they don't need humans to do it for them.

Your oven must be really poorly insulated if putting it on for half an hour or so increases the temperature in the kitchen by nearly 4 C.

Or more likely it's nothing to do with putting the oven on and simply because the outside temperature and sun has cause the kitchen to get warmer.

But if he frequently cooks meals for one in the oven, an air fryer would probably be a good investment.

It's not even that warm op just wet a towel and put it round your neck and get on with it