New career working Christmas as single parent

[ItsSpookySeason]

I have just finished a nursing degree and I'm waiting on my pin coming through before starting my new job. I've worked hard to get to this point as a mature student but unfortunately during my training my husband divorced me and has now moved to another country with OW.

We have 5 children under 12 who he now sees twice a year. I have managed during my training using paid childcare and have been fortunate that I have a family member who has also helped by looking after my children, but they are now also moving away to start a new job so I will solely be relying on paid childcare.

I am extremely worried about working 12 hour shifts over Christmas - I don't object to working Christmas eve / Christmas day / boxing day at all but I have no idea how I am going to sort childcare. I don't want to raise this as an issue as soon as I start my new job, I don't want to make a bad impression nor do I think I deserve special treatment as a single parent, but none of my childcare providers work Christmas day or boxing day, I have already asked!

How does anyone in a similar situation manage? I was previously self employed, and married, so have never had to worry about this before! Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

First off I want to say a massive congratulations! It’s not easy studying with young kids and nevermind as a single mum! Absolutely killing it girl.
have you looked at gingerbread? They are a charity supporting single parents in the UK - they might have some ideas ?

So no nurses, firefighters or police officers on duty 24/7?

It's not how the future is. Sorry.

Oh yes all the nurses having a family will mind. Sorry.

It's also not what the new law means - it just changes how you can request it, it doesn't mean you're guaranteed to get it (the same as now, really).

The idea of everyone being entitled to flexible working where they pick and choose their hours and days is lovely, but it just doesn't work in reality.

Oh that’s a tough one op, I’m a nurse ex a police officer so we jiggled for years until we split but I’d worked my job for years and managed to work his days off which was still tricky. I have 4 kids youngest has additional needs so struggleD for childcare. Your ex is a peach isn’t he just leaving you with 5 kids and buggering off abroad. Only thing you can really do is start the job, see how it goes and ask what happens re Christmas. I used to do nightshift Christmas night and/or boxing night so I had days with the kids. But it’s tough op, look for some practise jobs, outpatients, vaccination etc wish you luck and sorry you’re in this position, hope you end up on a nice ward with understanding colleagues

I do the Bank/Agency work. I have no issues with work but it might be because I cover a lot as I trained years ago.
I never work fFridatmys/weekends/holidays because of my family. It's perfect.
I might not be a good way to go as a new nurse.

I know.
It will mean nothing for a lot of people on 24/7 shifts. Not at all.

You can find a paid babysitter. A lot of nurses I have worked with over the years in dofferent wards did this at Christmas (and other days). No fun for you but it can be done.

It won't mean a thing for most industries really - flexi working only really suits office based roles where you don't need to be present or on-site at set times in order to do your job.

I mean, can you imagine if all emergency workers decided they didn't want to do weekends anymore? Or if supermarket workers decided they all wanted mornings off, or to close at 2pm so they could pick their kids up from school?

It just won't work. It's a nice idea, but it won't work.

It's BS tbh for a lot of people.

She's a newly qualified nurse. She is limited in where she can work at the moment because she needs to go through preceptorship and get IV training n all that. Telling her to join the Bank or an agency or a specialist/specific type of nursing is pointless. Ward work is the most common and easiest/fastest way to get these skills and training. She will be in a better position to be more picky in a year.

In every job that I have had, any holiday that I had already booked prior to starting, was always honoured so that will hopefully sort you for this year, but I think that would immediately mean that you would be expected to work next Christmas, but does give you longer to arrange something.

while the child free will just be expected to suck it up

Would your sister consider visiting for Xmas ? Or new years ? So then she could spend the day with the kids?
Failing that do you have the room for an aupair?

Not the trusts I have worked for. People have had the same rights on rota for the sh* t shifts no matter of children or not.

Quite a few of child free nurses did Christmas (and the other sh*t days) for the extra money.

It means that employers would need to offer an incentive to work this day that's equal to the value (& demand) people place on it. That value is high, & employers have got away for too long expecting people to give up their Christmas day for peanuts. Everyone has a price.

Ah right I miss understood her post, she was saying.it was law and everyone had the right to be heard about it rather than its still the.same, my mistake

It won't change a thing.

Congratulations, what a massive achievement. So sorry to hear about ex DH. What a scumbag.

I don’t want to sound negative. I just do not know how you are going to make it work, with 5 under 12 years of age, one having additional needs. With limited support around you.

These children hardly see their dad due to his own fault but it sounds like they will hardly now see their mum either whilst you work shifts and are now worrying about it being over Christmas too. I would put myself in my children’s shoes and think about that. I know you need to work to earn a living and this is just my opinion, I know others may say I’m completely wrong. Just feel a bit bad that they will be spending their time with baby sitters, childminders and in holiday clubs and missing out on time with you.

I think you're incredibly naive if you think it will make any kind of difference in the real world.

People can request what they like, they can demand whatever pay they like, but they're not entitled to it by any means - the new law doesn't change any of that.

Well done and be proud you have achieved this with 5kids and doing it alone

Paid child age via a nanny is prob your only choice

I'm a mn. I don't work Xmas day but I do work Boxing Day night for double pay

And seems many of my clients happy to pay it as I've worked 26/12 for the last 5/6yrs

So there are nannies who will work but it will obv cost you a lot !!!

Prob way more than you are being paid

Not sure if uou are on uc - but they pay towards childcare costs - not sure if capped at 2 - but will get some money towards childcare

You gave the right to request
but just because you request it doesn’t n it granted

but also it’s the impacts on others is it fair that someone has to work Christmas because someone because kids

Many wards don't do long shifts over Christmas. We certainly don't.

Well done, OP.
I'd look at community or practice nursing.
Depending on your area, they do take newly qualifieds.
I went into nursing home care as a nqn and negotiated fixed shifts (which did not fall on Xmas my first few years there.)

My husband left me as a newly qualified nurse and pregnant so I understand. Ex never saw dc so it was me and payed childcare. I did community nursing and ended up staying longer than I should because it worked with childcare/had an understanding team. I compromised with my team and worked extra 'other' bank holidays and weekends over the year. I also then moved into continuing health care which was Monday to Friday and no bank holidays. My colleague moved into school nursing for similar reasons.
My career progress was slowed down but it was the only way I could actually work.