Friend had a go at me over a can of Diet Coke

[coldayscientist]

Last Saturday friend had a few people around, she lives in the country so taxi/uber is impossible so all those drinking stayed over.

In the morning there was still some stuff out from the night before, including cans of Diet Coke, I opened one and had a sip, put it down not really thinking and said my goodbyes, my friend said “aren’t you taking that with you?” I responded “no I’m good thanks” and she retorted “what I’m absolute waste” - awkward silence, I grabbed the can, mumbled sorry and left.

Shes now messaged me to apologised. I’m just so annoyed that she spoke to me like a child.

This was the next day. Party was over. You don't add to the mess the next day. In fact, if you have any manners at all, you help clear up a little before your taxi arrives. You don't just dump your waste in your hosts face then fuck off.

Can you acknowledge the fact that it was rude of you to leave the can behind for someone else to clean up? Or is that too much to ask?

It seems that you can’t accept that you’re being U given the tone of your responses and it seems that you have an answer for everything. I’d really like to hear your answer for opening a can, taking a sip, putting the can back down and walking away. I don’t understand the logic of that at all, please educate me OP

f you have any manners at all, you help clear up a little before your taxi arrives. You don't just dump your waste in your hosts face then fuck off.

The two are not mutually exclusive.

This! It's a can of coke FFS

To you it's a can of coke because you can afford it.

One of my exes would often:

Take a bite of a sandwich, leave it there for hours, and then throw it away
Have maybe 2 sips of coffee before dumping out the entire cup
Open a pack of crisps, eat a few pieces, throw the rest of the bag away

There's nothing majorly wrong with it but the wastefulness of it all irked me to no end.

Sorry. But the wastefulness IS wrong .

Could have an eating disorder. It all sounds very controlled as if yo just get by. Why are they an ex?

it wouldn't make it any more affordable if OP had drained it dry.

Assuming the mindset that OP's mouth is a cesspit of disease and the can becomes persona non gratis the moment the OP's lips have grazed its edges, so OP's desperate-for-sustenance friend could not possibly finish it off -

.. it makes zero difference whether OP finishes it off or only has one mouthful.

For someone else? Not very hygienic given there are still several strains of Covid knocking around and the possibility of STIs etc. I wouldn't fancy drinking the remains of someone else's can unless it was partner or child.

I'd tell my kids off if they opened a can, took a sip and left the rest. It feels thoughtless and wasteful. I would be surprised if an adult friend did it.

She obviously didn't object to you opening it, and wouldn't have said anything if you'd drunk more of it or taken it with you.

Even more irritating that you left it on a surface for her to clear away.

I doubt it was a genuine apology. She's just keeping the peace because you looked annoyed or amused when she said it.

Do you want to drink the remains of a can that someone else has drunk from? I wouldn't unless it was my partner or child. If this is something that people do its no wonder that Covid won't go away.

And no you don't ask every time you take something from a buffet, but it is unusual to open something that was unopened, the morning after, just as you are leaving.

If I was thirsty, I would. Covid is airborne, so the likelihood is that if you've been in the same house as someone infectious overnight, you'll cop for it anyway.

Unless you spend 24/7 with your partner/child to the exclusion of all others, your partner/child is as likely to pass disease onto you as a friend would be.

It’s just a can of coke , I wouldn’t have even made a thread about it.
recycle and move on

If this is your general attitude it's fucking amazing that you were invited in the first place. If it had been my party you wouldn't be invited again.

When someone opens up their home and provides food and drink and a bed for the night, to turn round and treat their hospitality like this is disgraceful. Did you even bother to thank them when you left?

Taking something, a bottle of wine or 6 pack, is just basic good manners. Turning up to a social event empty handed is bloody rude. It costs nothing to be polite but you sound like an entitled, self-centred twat.

What you wear and where and when you live are irrelevant. You can wear jeggings and a hoodie, live on the 15th floor of a block of flats and very much in the here and now and have perfectly good manners and treat people and their homes with respect.

Of course you were rude, your answers on here are rude.

Drinking from a can is yuk.

On behalf of barn animals everywhere I take exception to this.

Not read RTFT, just the responses of the OP.

They are twelve in the head but a school holidays teen in reality.

.

I'd have the 10 boxes of chocolates but they wouldn't be sitting in the cupboard for very long (probably lucky to get to the cupboard in the first place)

Why have you posted here if you were completely unwilling to reflect on your actions?

@coldayscientist I’m just so annoyed that she spoke to me like a child.
I'm certain that as a scientist you'll be familiar with Newton's Third Law of Motion.

That's the "every action has an equal and opposite reaction" one. You know, the one where he got bonked on the bonce by a Golden Delicious and discovered that acting like a petulant child gets you treated like a petulant child.

Crikey OP my kids from about the age of 2 would’ve known that what you did was completely unacceptable. Really wasteful and disrespectful. Can’t believe she apologised to you, you should’ve apologised to her. How entitled are you ffs?

You were rude and wasteful but you’ve been called out and it’s a bit of a non-event now as your friend has apologised. At least you might think twice next time. Just apologise back and let it be.

You posted because you needed, and hoped for, validation. Deep down you know she was right, but your ego is too fragile to accept you might have acted poorly- hence the snide or ‘funny’ remarks to people who have agreed with your friend. Classic ego defence.

Her apology was like a red rag to a bull, something for you to cling on to (her admittance of snapping at you), whilst also presenting you with a challenge (apologising gave her the moral high ground especially as it was your behaviour- waste and poor understanding of social etiquette, that activated the snapping in the first place). Her challenge inadvertently made you feel even shitter about yourself (though possibly subconsciously).