Friend had a go at me over a can of Diet Coke

[coldayscientist]

Last Saturday friend had a few people around, she lives in the country so taxi/uber is impossible so all those drinking stayed over.

In the morning there was still some stuff out from the night before, including cans of Diet Coke, I opened one and had a sip, put it down not really thinking and said my goodbyes, my friend said “aren’t you taking that with you?” I responded “no I’m good thanks” and she retorted “what I’m absolute waste” - awkward silence, I grabbed the can, mumbled sorry and left.

Shes now messaged me to apologised. I’m just so annoyed that she spoke to me like a child.

You mumbled sorry. Did you feel embarrassed when she pulled you up.

@coldayscientist @OkPedro

I will answer your question.

That would be the last time she came to my house I am not a tolerant person. My friendship group has the same morals and principles as me. I am a humble person I can't stand entitled people.

No one is appreciating the logic of this situation, which places OP in the right.

There are two possible premises:

Attitude A: If a canned drink is opened and sipped, it becomes unfit for consumption by any party other than the party who sipped from it.

Attitude B: A third party can safely drink from a can opened and sipped by a friend.

Let's say both attitudes are equally valid.

Attitude A: Once the can is opened and sipped from, it becomes useless to anyone else. Therefore, it makes no difference if the OP takes 1 sip, drinks half of it, or finishes it off - once the can is opened, it becomes unusable by OP or anyone else.

Attitude B: The remains of the drink are a usable commodity, therefore OP's friend can finish off the can.

Sounds like she was grumpy because she was tired and hungover. Maybe you are a little bit sensitive too because of "beer fear"? Either way, sounds like it's blown over, I wouldn't worry x

Maybe she knows where the ops mouth has been and that's why she was upset that she opened the can and only took a sip. She knew she could not possibly drink from the can after the op put her mouth on it. She was planning on drinking the coke herself until the op opened it and took a sip and then put it down. That's what pissed her off she wanted to drink it.

That isn't consistent with the OP. The OP indicated the annoyance arose, not when the can was opened, but when the OP failed to take it with her.

Therefore, the state of OP's mouth makes no difference. Once she is has sipped from it, it is useless. It is equally useless if OP drinks it all. Logically, the outcome is the same for the OP's friend.

It's an entirely different AIBU if the question is, was the OP unreasonable to drink a can of Diet Coke at all in the morning.

In that case, I would say the onus was on the OP's friend to put the cans away somewhere. If the cans are still sitting in last night's buffet, unless the OP's friend makes it clear that the circumstances have changed and the cans are to be saved, it is reasonable for the OP to take it that they are still part of the buffet.

Spending money on something for someone to enjoy is different from spending money on something to then have it be literally poured down the drain.

Plus, the OP would have created more work for her friend who would have had to go empty the wasted coke in the sink and then dispose of the can because the OP didn't have the grace or manners to dispose of it herself.

It is normal to not like to see things wasted.

Op enjoyed having a couple of sips from the can. If she'd have enjoyed finishing it off, she'd have done so. Enjoyment does not = 'clearing your plate' - it = sating yourself with as much food or drink as you need.

If OP had finished off the can in her friend's kitchen, her friend would still have had to dispose of it. Unless OP had made a point of upending the can and shaking it vigorously over her open mouth to ensure it was completely empty, her friend would still have had to shake it over the sink before putting it into recycling, assuming she cares about the recycling not being contaminated by liquids.

Her friend bought the food and drinks for the party. The next morning the party was over. Op grabs a drink takes sip and like a teenager puts it down because she don't like it or she doesn't want it. When her friend pulls her up on it she mumbles sorry. She forgot her manners I wonder if she thanked her for inviting her over. You don't take advantage of someone's hospitality. The op was in the wrong to say she wasn't is enabling her to do it again. She'll be lucky if she gets a second invite.

Honestly, wouldn't cost me a thought. If a friend was hanging, opened a can of manky Diet Coke ( team Coke Zero), drank what she wanted, and left to go home. I would just empty the can when I was tidying up and but in the return bag. No need for comments or judgement. I often open a can at home, drink some, go out or do something else, forget it and it's flat when I see it again. No big deal at all.

Super rude to do that, I’d ask if they minded me taking a can for the journey, it’s almost taking the piss to do what you did. Your poor friend.

And you've not answered the quesio about whether you opened the can, took a sip and then just left it. Probably because, yes you did, and everyone's told you how wasteful they think you are.

Her friend bought the food and drinks for the party. The next morning the party was over.

So the onus is on the friend to make that clear either by clearing up or saying 'I'm saving the rest of the cans.' The OP isn't psychic, she can't be expected to guess the party cut-off point.

Yeah, this! First comment as usual nails it

Would you do the same to your friend after she spent money entertaining you? Do you think you're entitled to take what you want because she's the mug paying for it. It's easy when it someone else's money. When it's your own it's a different story.

I'd have a budget for a party, buy the drinks within that budget, and regard any leftovers as a bonus. No one should spend more than they can afford to write off on a party. There is always the option of hosting on a 'bring your own drinks' basis if money is tight.

Would you leave a can of coke you sipped from on the table for your friend to throw away and walk out the door?

Quite possibly, if I had a bad hangover. In normal circumstances, I wouldn't drink a can of coke or similar for 'breakfast' but if feeling crap and dehydrated, facing a journey home, I'd do what it took to get through the door and home.

What? What kind of ingrate just dumps their waste on the side in front of their host and leaves it for someone else to clean up?

How the hell were some of you raised...

You should’ve just given her £2 and been on your merry way, @coldayscientist.
Then she wouldn’t have been so quick to complain and all the people here wouldn’t be so snippy.
I think it might’ve been the right thing to do anyhow if you had no intention of drinking it.

Are you suggesting that, over the course of the party, everyone diligently took their cans/bottles straight to the recycling tub as soon as they were empty, or washed and dried their glasses and popped them safely in the cupboard?

At even the staidest, most formal events I have been to, this has never happened.

Her friend has a bin she could have used it.

I would be surprised, nay, astonished if the OP's can was the sole item from the party left undisposed of.

Yep, recklessly wasteful.

Whether it's a party, restaurant, hotel room, cottage or holiday rental I would always clean up no matter how I feel before I leave. I haven't got it in me to abuse other people's hospitality or take advantage of staff workers. When I leave I want to leave a good impression.