Making a move on DH's friend

[suspiciousqueen]

I posted previously on relationships board about my dh.

At the moment as it stands, I can't stand him, today I just lost it with him in front of the kids and then few mins later apologised to the kids and went for a walk to clear my head.
It's constantly on my mind of how he lied and hid stuff from me. I thought we were the kind of couple that would tell each other everything no matter what but obviously not.

So today I had a 'bright idea' of flirting with one of his friends when we all meet up this weekend. Just to fuck him off in all honesty.
I've always been loyal to my DH even when we were dating and his friends would give me lingering looks but I never fell for it.
I just want to give him a taste of his own medicine to show him what it feels like.

Beginning of this year he told me I can't be friends with his other group of friends cos one of his friends and I struck up a genuine friendship and he hated it. I never hid anything, told my DH everything we spoke about and it was all innocent but he nonetheless still didn't feel comfortable me talking to him so I cut ties with the friend which I was sad about.

So aibu in flirting outrageously with one of his friends this weekend?

Btw I haven't flirted with another guy in 30 years so will need help in this department!

God you just get more and more embarrassing @suspiciousqueen

His friend is my type and yeah if he reciprocates then great and if he doesn't then great too, at least I'll have a fun night either way.

Not really his friend if he’s willing to ‘reciprocate’ his mates wife throwing herself at him like some silly teenager with her first crush. And if he has any self respect, he’ll not want to be used in your little revenge game regardless.

I'll post an honest update on Sunday.

Why, are you dragging out your little adventure in this embarrassment as far as you can? Surely it will only go one of two ways:

‘He totally likes me back and we shagged behind the recycling bins round the corner. Aren’t I such a liberated woman and you were all so wrong about how humiliating this all is’.

or

’He rebuffed me, now I feel even worse about myself and my husband found out and is furious. Will have to move in with my parents/friends/bedsit and my kids won’t talk to me because he told them all the ugly details, woe is me, etc’.

Honestly your marriage is dead so it’s time to go.

But if your idea of an ego boost and feeling confident, free and liberated is humiliating yourself by making a cringe worthy pass at your husbands mate then you really need to raise your bar from being underneath a snakes belly.

Seriously it’s beyond embarrassing and so childish to put your husbands friend in an awkward compromising position. The poor sod is being as an unwitting pawn in your grubby little game to validate yourself and it just reeks of desperation

Yikes!! This is feeling like watching a car crash happening with no way of stopping it.

220 comments saying no don't do this and OP is like no fuck that, hold my beer!!

I’m checking out of this thread, it’s absolutely pathetic. I feel sorry for the kids.

I m wondering if op is suffering a mental health episode, so please when she contacts again , maybe we should all bear the possibility that she may be having a manic episode or something similar, extreme risk taking, ranting at her husband etc.. and it would explain why the husband filmed her to show how she was acting when in an episode. Obviously I'm not a MH advisor nor have any knowledge of the OP but part of me is looking at the husbands actions, and something feels odd, perhaps the husband has just been beaten down, stays away from his wife, says he will not let her look after the kids alone....

It’s like revival of Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie and the op is playing Linda…

I loved that show!! Oh to have Linda's confidence! 🤣🤣

I think the op needs a little less of that confidence that this friend is… interested in how supple she is??

Oh God yes, OP's situation is toxic and trying it on with this friend is definitely the worst thing to do!

I can almost see the scenario playing out..... OP will probably drink too much in an effort to gain some confidence, this guy friend will either be a true gentleman, which will make OP feel like a fool for trying and this gets back to her DH and he then gets to play the poor husband card.

Or, worse, friend will take advantage and OP ends up doing the walk of shame home, and then DH gets to blame everything on OP and ends up looking like a victim of his crazy, floozy wife!!

Car crash either way!

This.

This is just so desperate op, and so sad you can’t see it. It just comes across as you’re so desperate you’re going to see if his best mate is up for it, can you not see when it comes to it the mate will stay loyal

join on line dating, have some dignity. Don’t just try it on with the nearest male.

Are you 15?

Grow the fuck up.

Exactly what I was thinking as I was reading the thread further.

This sort of behaviour I wouldn’t bat an eyelid at if you were a teen, or at uni- ie a young person with minimal responsibility who is hurt/wronged and doesn’t know how to process their emotions in a less damaging way.

But when you’re an adult with children you have to realise you can’t behave how you want to anymore.

I also find this scenario extra shitty because OP is just using this other guy. If he’s always had feelings for her he doesn’t deserved to be used as some sort of weird rebound toy where he’s being led on purposely to annoy someone else with no respect for his feelings.

And if he doesn’t have feelings then it just puts him in a really awkward situation.

It would be different if OP and husband were officially separated and she asked him out on a date a month or two later and was up front about the fact she wasn’t wanting anything serious, but to just use someone as a “fuck you” to your husband?

Really shitty behaviour.

The sad fact is even if his mate isn’t loyal, he isn’t going to see her as anything other than something to get off with. Harsh and grotesque, yes, but true.

No man is going to start a serious relationship with a woman who’s throwing herself at anyone with a knob while their husband is at the dinner table.

He might go for a ONS or a casual fling but he certainly won’t be thinking “she’s the one”.

If it doesn’t end in tears on Saturday night, it certainly will a few weeks/months down the line.

Absolutely correct. To me there is nothing worse than a woman cuckolding her husband. You can see it a mile off and it repulses me. However I am aware that for a few men "any hole is a goal" and they will happily use the woman behind the bins, leave her with her knickers around her ankles having a cry because she's realised what she's done. One in particular told me that he received a bj and afterwards her husband found out who he was and asked for photos. Which the person I knew happily sent him thinking the husband enjoyed it . The husband then sent them to all her friends, the neighbours, teachers at the kids school and her parents. If you want to ruin a whole family including innocent children then it's a great way to do it.

I wonder if @suspiciousqueen will update us today?

if there’s an update is likely to be how it all went amazingly. He was so into her he decided there and then to cut his best friend off. So did the rest of them. Her and his best friend declared their love one another and outed her husband as a pig.

They left hand in hand and everyone clapped as they walked out of the door!

Why not contact your old friends, sincerely apologise for dropping off the face of the earth. Rebuild your own life. Go do your own thing tonight rather than maintaining a social circle based around H.

Hitting on a friend of H is a terrible idea. So he's your type, say you two end up together.......H will then still be in your social life potentially unless that blows up the friendship group.

Yes, I'm only here to read about the proposal 💍

I was actually looking forward to an anticlimactic post saying:

'On reflection, I didn't make any advances on the male friend. I am booked into seeing a divorce lawyer on Thursday.......'

Your poor kids, you really need to grow the fuck up. It's messed up that you can't see how badly this could effect them.

I'd say a truthful update would be "I tried it on with H's BFF and he was horrified. He shut me down immediately and asked "What the hell is wrong with you?".

I think, however, the OP is long gone. She (if this was real) didn't get the "You GO, girl!" reaction that she expected.

Wow, If it's that bad me & the wife would split ages ago, but we are older generation, I can't help but love her after 46 years of marriage & I feel it back despite our whinging moments, don't waste your time end it n move on. Some people have no loyalty & it's definitely not in yours. Tell him all you know & give him a decision, then move on with your life.

What age are you seriously grow up do you not realise your partner and your kids are people two with thoughts and feelings stop being so selfish and childish if you want to play mummies and daddies and pretend to be adults then have an adult conversation world does not revolve around you