To be worried about my “Tomboy” DD

[SendMeHomeNow]

My 6 year old is constantly being asked if she’s a boy or a girl. She usually just refuses to reply at all, or she will say once that she’s a girl. Some children seem to ask repeatedly though. She’s beginning to get really annoyed about it. I’m not sure how to help her deal with it.
90% of her clothes are from the “boys section” in shops. She has long hair but refuses to tie it up unless she has to for sports activities. It’s probably her mannerisms that make children think she is a boy though, more than anything else.
I obviously don’t want to change her, but I wish I could stop children being so rude. I know I can’t affect the behaviour of other though. Any suggestions of what she could say when asked, that may stop the repeat questions would be great!

but now i’ve got to crack on with dinner so i’ll leave you fending off all the questions about whether your daughter is a boy

I agree but it was preferable to holding my nose to vote for Labour at the moment. I’m disappointed that they didn’t do more campaigning.

They don’t but that’s what they seem to do, girls joggers are more fitted and in my mind therefore don’t look as scruffy on her. That’s my issue I accept completely. That’s how we’re socialised though isn’t it.

I like the alien suggestion from pp.

I grew up with a mum forcing me to wear ‘girly’ crap I didn’t like and it was awful never expressing myself. I outright refuse to wear pink, dresses and skirts to this day.

I don’t put my twin girls in pink, dresses and skirts either. They can decide when they are older if they want to wear them.

The alien suggestion is precocious.

I don't think so. She could change it every time they ask the Q, if she doesn't want to take it seriously and say she's a girl.

I'm a horse
I'm a cat
I'm a tree

Or she could just whack them around the head.

What a lot of absolute shite. 🤣🤣🤣

@x2boys

Not as limited as the boys section Go in any clothes shop and there's rows and rows of girls stuff * And a bout half a row of boys stuff.*

I agree children's clothes are pretty bad. And given that boy my DS and DD shop in the 'boys' section I know how limited it is.

Both refuse anything in the 'girls' section. There's more if it. But it's mostly guff.

So I'm just as limited as you.

I’m really shocked by the abuse you’ve got on this thread, I’ve got no idea why certain people are trying to pick a fight and suggesting you’re doing anything other than looking out for your DD’s best interests.

I think all you can do is help your DD come up with a confident reply that will
knock the questions on the head. It sounds like she’s sick of the question, so doesn’t reply, which maybe makes it worse?

We have a DD9 with long curly hair who often gets mistaken for / asked if she’s a boy but it doesn’t bother her fortunately. She just prefers the look and fit of “boys” clothes. If I buy her “girls” clothes in plain colours she won’t wear them as she doesn’t feel comfortable. They either have some tiny “girls” motive somewhere or are cut differently. Even girls joggers are a no go as they are more slim fitting, as are running shorts as they’re too short. But I’m not going to force her to wear clothes she doesn’t like and no, that doesn’t make me a snowflake, I’m just letting her be who she wants to be. Which is a girl who loves football, dinosaurs, climbing trees, knitting and a hundred other things but wouldn’t leave the house in girls clothes. And I’m not going to get into a battle with her over it as that would cause more harm than good.

Another lot of absolute shite.

Why so many adults wishing to indoctrinate young girls into misogynistic stereotypes?

Again, tell that to the retailers. Boys wear gamer stuff, girls wear unicorns.

What else would they choose when those are the options? I buy my kids stuff from both sections, my son saw a sparkly top with a rainbow on, he loves it! My daughter loves her dinosaur jumper.

OP I’d probably ensure she knows that clothes don’t define women and that she can be a girl and wear X and be interested in Y. Show her images and stories of women who don’t ‘conform’ to gender stereotypes. It’s mad how many women try to force dresses and the such like onto their girls, yet they wear trousers daily as do lots and lots of women! There are many ways to be a girl, it doesn’t have to be doing ballet or wearing a dress FFS.

I suppose there's always going to be outliers but there has to be some societal norms or else we'd have anarchy.

We’d have anarchy if there were no societal norms related to what girls and boys wear?

Yes anarchy in the dressing sense.

@Sisterdeloris in what way does a girl wearing a blue dinosaur tshirt or camo joggers cause anarchy?

Hey let's go truly wild and have a boy wear a sparkly crop top, in what way is that anarchy?

How? It’s just a girl wearing a dinosaur top.

YY, men mow the lawn, women do the baking, men fix the car, women write the Christmas cards, men play football, women have pretty hair, men have pockets, women have handbags... Otherwise there would be utter CHAOS!!

FFS 🙄 how have we not evolved more than some of the utterly prehistoric and appalling views here?!

Just don't let her go down the gender fluid route or you'll be in for a rough ride.

It's fine if she wears boys clothes and acts like a boy. I did at her age and I'm a femme fatale* now. I became more feminine as time went on.

(*Okay, I'm just a woman and mother in her 30s that loves dresses)

Agreed, I’ll be making sure she knows that clothes, hobbies and jobs do not affect your sex/gender. That non binary and trans are a load of crap mostly.

Necklines and sleeves.

It would also be worth pointing out to children that boys also do ballet. Otherwise who would dance all the princes, soldiers, heroes, villains and pirates roles in the ballets?

come again?!

Nonsense

I didn’t mean they needed to be cut differently, far from it. I meant that necklines and sleeves in girls’ clothing are often cut differently. That’s all. A plain t shirt is fine for both.