To be worried about my “Tomboy” DD

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My 6 year old is constantly being asked if she’s a boy or a girl. She usually just refuses to reply at all, or she will say once that she’s a girl. Some children seem to ask repeatedly though. She’s beginning to get really annoyed about it. I’m not sure how to help her deal with it.
90% of her clothes are from the “boys section” in shops. She has long hair but refuses to tie it up unless she has to for sports activities. It’s probably her mannerisms that make children think she is a boy though, more than anything else.
I obviously don’t want to change her, but I wish I could stop children being so rude. I know I can’t affect the behaviour of other though. Any suggestions of what she could say when asked, that may stop the repeat questions would be great!

apparently has more sense than you because she knows that clothes don't make you a boy or a girl.

I dont disagree but why do clothes retailers still conform to this. For young boys it literally is Gamer/Marvel/Minecraft variations of the same themed stuff accounting for a huge chunk of their offerings. I suppose they are only meeting demand but there should be less slogan crap as there's often precious little else.

I was a complete tomboy as a kid and loved it. I did not in anyway want to be a boy though and was extremely offended if anyone thought I actually was a boy. I was a girl and couldn't understand why they would think I was a boy.

To be honest I think I'd let dd get annoyed by it and support her in it - other kids shouldn't keep asking over and over. Why shouldn't she get annoyed with them, perhaps they'll get the message then.

Come off it! She knows she’s a girl thanks. She’s not stupid. People asking if she’s a boy or a girl has got nothing to do with trans crap. She’s a fairly resilient child, especially considering she’s had various health problems to deal with.
She isn’t confused in the least. It’s other children that are saying they’re confused, I’m not convinced they are though, I wonder if they’re just winding her up. Kids will always be cruel about stuff at times though. I posted in the hope people would have suggestions on how to help her deal with it.

there should be less slogan crap as there's often precious little else

I've heard buyers say that a lot of it comes from China and their hands are tied. Not sure how true that is.

I’ve suggested she replies that she’s an alien next time, as suggested earlier, and she likes that idea.

Stop worrying.

I presume she's pre puberty?

I was exactly the same except with a short boyish hair cut. I grew up, fancied boys, and am happily feminine as an adult & mum of two.

She's just a child.

Oh come on, I wasn’t saying she is confused about who she is, I was saying the kids who keep questioning her have obviously been brought up to either question everything or are confused themselves.
At her age she doesn’t need to be arguing against it all but obviously wants a quick way of stopping the questions so one answer then shutting down repeated questions would be my advice.
the whole “she’ll find her own path” was literally about she’ll find her own way of shutting them down as she gets older and not anything to do with her changing who she sees herself as.

I grew up, fancied boys, and am happily feminine as an adult & mum of two

And it's also perfectly fine if this girl doesn't end up fancying boys or become more 'feminine' too, surely?

Fair enough, I guess I was feeling defensive after some of the bonkers comments 😂

Well you weee hardly likely to admit it were you?

”Party of Women” a single issue party. You were actually gunning for this party to win the election?

Agreed!

Really not, now. Some of the boys at my village school have shoulder length hair.

Admit what?

Of course they weren’t going to win. I knew Labour would win locally by a massive margin, and I’m glad, so I voted for PoW to send a message to the local candidate that some people are really worried about this stuff.

Yep pre puberty. I just don’t want her being upset. I don’t care if people think she’s a boy, I’ve got a son who’s great, I’ve nothing against boys. She doesn’t like being questioned though. Especially when they ask her more than once. I’ll just keep giving her ideas of how to respond. If it carries on at school next term I’ll speak to the teacher to have a chat with them.

Definitely, I have more than one non straight relative and if she isn’t straight when she’s older that’s fine with me.

I'd just like to say that the word 'Tomboy' can get in the bin. I'm sure it's the source of some of this gender nonsense. Girls can climb trees, play with cars, have short hair and like dinosaurs. I'm sorry for your girl but can't think of a more cogent reply than, 'I'm a girl, stupid, girls can wear what they want and do what they want'.

All power to her.

Fair enough, can’t say I blame you to be fair after reading some of the bullshit on this thread.
you've got a young daughter who is just trying to be herself and getting questioned about it which is bullshit within itself. As much as she shouldn’t have to put up with this, resilience is the only thing you can teach her at this point as you can’t stop the questions as much as we would all like too.
the very fact you want to help her navigate this suggests she’ll grow up knowing that she is who she is and should be immensely proud of that. But yep, it’s shit being a girl full stop especially when you don’t conform to what other people deem to be a girl (regardless of how old they are).

I just get this sense that you are very vocal and proud that you get most of your daughter’s clothes from the boys section and she enjoys football dramas, and it’s odd because really it’s nothing unusual…

half of mumsnet seem to buy most of their daughters clothes from the boys section!

and watching CBBC football drama (Jaime Johnson?!) is what loads of children watch (my football loving son and daughter and my daughter who can’t stand football)

oh and the “swagger” of you daughter which you liken to a 15 year old boy rather than what is much more likely the look of tour daughter…. a very young child in a mood and about to have a tantrums!

i think you’ve massively exaggerated all these
many people asking multiple times. She has long hair that she always wears loose, and in my experience 6 year olds very much see long hair with being a girl

How rude! You do realise this is an actual 6 year old you’re talking about.

given they got less than 5000 votes across the entire country, i don’t think anyone got any message from anyone

with a 15 year olds boy’s “swagger” according to you 😆

Not proud in the least, or vocal, it just felt relevant to the post to mention it. I also mentioned the long hair because I agree that it would make me think kids would presume she’s a girl.
Clothes are just clothes, I often feel she looks a bit scruffy so would rather she’s wear some clothes that are cut for girls, but I’m not going to force her. She wants to be who she is and I’m glad she’s got that confidence. My older son couldn’t care less what he wore at that age and barely cares now either.
She isn’t prone to tantrums, she isn’t 2. She seems to think it’s what football playing older children do I suspect.
You seem angry for some reason, and have made some massive presumptions!

* so would rather she’s wear some clothes that are cut for girls,*

how does the body of a 6 year old girl need a different “cut” to the clothes of a 6 year old boy?

She isn’t prone to tantrums, she isn’t 2

but when she’s “swaggering” she would look more like a toddler about to have a tantrum than a 15 year old boy!

You seem angry for some reason

not in the slightest. Intrigued and also, well i find the idea of many people asking multiple times whether this very young child with long hair is a boy…. nonsense and consequently a little funny that you’d say it!