C Section is 'not a real birth'

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Please read the post before commenting.

Birth of my daughter was a traumatic emergency C Section, after six days of an induction.

I'm about to have a baby and because of GDM am being pressured into a planned C Section or induction.

I hate hate hate the idea of going through all that again. I hate the idea of recovering from another C Section now with a toddler and a newborn and not much paternity leave for my husband.

To make matters worse I have convinced myself that if I don't push a baby out I am missing out on something about womanhood.

Has anyone experienced the same thoughts? If so how did you rationalise them?

What nonsense.

The only thing that matters is healthy mum and baby at the end. The rest is just frills.

I have had 3 c sections. The first two were fairly traumatic and I struggled psychologically. I felt like I had missed out on giving birth naturally and it took a real toll on my mental wellbeing and my confidence. My third was a planned section which almost healed all of these negative thoughts. Now I barely think about it. I know so many people who have had hideous vaginal births with long term issues and complications and I feel very lucky that this hasn't happened to me. I have breastfed all of my babies to 2 years and I am proud of that. It's really hard not to beat yourself up about it and not to feel sad that you've missed out but I promise it gets better with time. Having a c section is giving birth, OP.

Ps

Planned c section is much easier to recover from than an emergency and/or induction. In my experience anyway....

thank you @Hopefullymovinghouse

That is a load of rubbish. I was made to feel the same guilt having gone through an emergency c-section which saved mine and my son’s lives. It’s the same kind of opinion that also accompanies ones about bottle feeding. Again, something I had no choice to resort to after trying and failing for weeks and weeks to establish BF. I also had to have IVF to have my first baby. I suppose that makes me even less of a women 🙄

Ridiculous. Birth is when a child is born from a mother. Method of birth is irrelevant. Focus on the health of the baby and mother. There is nothing “less” about a c section.

I had two C-sections - one scheduled and one unplanned - and those kinds of ideas never even occurred to me until I heard them from other women. Personally, I was glad I ended up with two C-sections. I was dreading spending days in labor, or tearing all the way to my anal muscles.

Of course it’s a real birth. It’s a cesarean birth. This isn’t Macbeth.

I had a planned c section on twins and it was a great experience. Very calm and quick.
Recovery was brilliant and I was hoovering in 10 days.
Not a bother

I had an induction and epidural with both of mine and those are also considered "not real births" by some people. Frankly, I did what was best for my health and that of my babies.

A planned C section is one of the safest forms of delivery. You're not missing out on something because you don't want to put yourself through a possible week of agony. Instead you will have the joy of being able to quickly bond with your new baby rather than recovering from serious emotional and physical trauma.

Having a planned c section is a lot easier than an unplanned one. It's scary but you will cope.
I understand what you mean about the birthing experience but it won't matter once your baby has been safely delivered.

Plus you've only sacrificed your stomach and not your vagina too - apparently this will might be important when you are trying to cough and not wee as my friends tell me- it's the only bonus I can think of

I have attended many many births by caesarian section. Honestly each and every one is a really special moment, just as special and "real" as a vaginal birth.

We all miss out on experiences in life! You may "miss out" on a vaginal birth but by the same token others will "miss out" on a caesarian birth. However you give birth will be unique, your unique experience that noone else can ever have.

(A planned caesarian is very different to an emergency one).

Best of luck.

You’re not missing out! (2 vaginal births here).
You’ll have the worst of both worlds… c-section scar etc from the first and battered bits/ tearing from the second.

Nonsense!

I've had all vaginal births and had they been born through my tummy or through my ear the birth (and I!) would be no less. The most important aspect is the babies are healthy and mothers are happy.

Give yourself a break.

Also, just to add I chose to have a planned c-section with my 2nd. I still hadnt got over the trauma of my first birth experience and wanted everything as planned and controlled as possible. It was down to medical negligence that I so nearly lost my first baby who I had to go through so much to have in the first place, and because of some arrogant young doctor who insisted he wasn’t in distress I nearly lost him. And yet they had the nerve to try and guilt trip me into a natural birth the 2nd time around. As it happens it was as calm and controlled as I had hoped and I have no regrets whatsoever.

I've had three vaginal births and I promise you're not missing anything! I also know that the recovery from a section can be tough, but you're not guaranteed to avoid that with a vaginal birth either, I know lots of people who suffered terrible birth injuries with long term consequences from having a 'natural' birth.

A planned section is likely to be a world of difference from your first birth, which sounds awful - exhausting and traumatic. People I know who had planned sections found them really calm and positive experiences.

Finally, you are no more or less a mother because of how your child got out of your body, and even if it didn't - adoptive mothers are just as much a mother as biological ones. Don't get hung up on it, it's really not important in the grand scheme of things.

Yeah, I loved how quick my scheduled c-section was. We checked in at 11:30 and she was out at 11:57!

I actually agree with you OP.
I had four caesarean births and hated them all.

I've always, always regretted not giving birth.

I hear you! I had an unplanned then a planned (too old to let me go beyond 40 weeks), recovered well from both, but I can't help feeling like you do even though it's utterly illogical. I carried them and birthed them and nursed them and bottle fed them and continue to raise them. But still feel like I didn't do it 'properly'. Ridiculous! I don't think films and tv helps, labour and birth is always presented in the same way so I grew up thinking that was how it always 'should be'.

Sorry OP but you are completely adding to this silly idea yourself by putting it out there because guess what you have now made however many women reading this who have had a c section feel like others say it isn't a 'real birth'

Being a c section mum myself, going through three days labour, fully dilated, failed epidural - I am forever grateful that I was able to give birth to my daughter healthy via c section and fully stand by that it was a 'real' birth we had.

Well ten years later im no longer pregnant, so I'm comfortable calling my C-section birth a 'real' birth

It's a real birth.
Lots of women and babies suffer birth injuries. Sections have saved so many lives. Take the advice of your midwife and doctor about the safest way to deliver your baby.
It's understandable to have conflicted feelings about this - we get fed a lot of information and expectations around childbirth.

Ps I felt like you do before my 2nd, and hoped and planned for a vbac (which was supported) but didn't go into labour by week 40 and so plan b was the elected (otherwise like you and my first it was going to be a failed induction then emergency cs).

C Section is 'not a real birth'

Well it’s, what more is there to say? It sounds like you should get your midwife to refer you for some counselling before this next birth.

This. Baby will come the way he or she is meant to. The main thing is your health and that of your kid. You are in no way less of a parent if you don’t push a baby out, if you don’t breast feed, if you return to work quickly, if you are an adoptive mum, or any of the other stereotypes.
Good luck and enjoy your baby.

Your bits will thank you when you are older and not prolapsing. I wish I'd had a C section but stupidly pushed for England. Just had a hysterectomy due to my bits falling out of me. It's a birth. What sort of birth you had won't be on your CV or your gravestone. You are giving life to another human irrespective of what orrifice he she comes out of. You are not a failure: you are sensible.