C Section is 'not a real birth'

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Please read the post before commenting.

Birth of my daughter was a traumatic emergency C Section, after six days of an induction.

I'm about to have a baby and because of GDM am being pressured into a planned C Section or induction.

I hate hate hate the idea of going through all that again. I hate the idea of recovering from another C Section now with a toddler and a newborn and not much paternity leave for my husband.

To make matters worse I have convinced myself that if I don't push a baby out I am missing out on something about womanhood.

Has anyone experienced the same thoughts? If so how did you rationalise them?

Nope. I wanted and got a planned caesarean. Not sure why pushing out a baby and risking prolapses and incontinence has anything to do with being a woman. Strange.

Sorry final ps, like others here have said a planned is so so different, we were home within 24 hours, recovered well. Wishing you well, and hope the anxiety passes

You grew a baby and it came out of you. You birthed a baby. Doesn't matter where it came out. Every birth is "real" because it happened.

Pushing out a baby is way over rated! Honestly you're really not missing anything IME. BUT no one can stop you from feeling how you feel, talk it through with your midwife and push for what you want if giving birth vaginally is really important to you and you understand the risks.

But you are giving birth! I've had 2 c sections (both planned but necessary) and I don't for one second feel that I didn't give birth. I mean, if I didn't then who did? The are born, they came out of my body- I've the scars to prove it. So yes, I gave birth and so did you.
There is so much stupid pressure on women to have these "instagramable" mother nature births and everything is so much of a competition. Dont allow this pressure to get to you- the important thing is getting your baby out of you safe and sound. It really doesn't matter how it gets out!

I had two blissful 'real births' - no pain meds, pool and I bounced back. I feel so lucky I was able to have this... BUT I was wracked with anxiety about leaving my toddler, not knowing when it would happen and worried about who would take care of him and how he would cope (he was fine BTW). My friend had a planned C section and walked out that morning, holding hands with her partner and it was so calm and relaxed in many ways. The point is - birth is birth and there are many ways to get there and pros and cons to both. Do what is best for you and your baby. You're a heroine either way xx

I quite agree. You didn't choose to have a section last time and can't help the gestational diabetes. A C-section sounds safest for you and your baby. The chances are, if you were induced (which I understand is not pleasant), you might end up having another emergency section anyway.

You will have given birth regardless of the method, you are the child's mother and it is your womb from which it will be taken - then handed to you once checked over.

Please do try to organise some daily help for a month or so after you leave hospital. It will make such a difference, even if only for a few hours each day, when your husband goes back to work.

Good luck, I am sure things will go splendidly but put yourself first for a while and don't stress about things beyond your control. You will soon have another little person to cuddle, congratulations.

What complete and utter nonsense. Of course a c-section is a real birth! Otherwise how did a real baby emerge during it?

I've had two vaginal births (traumatic, especially the first one) and one emergency c-section. The c-section was the very best of them and if I could have my time again I would have them all by caesarean.

I had a natural birth (water pool & gas and air) followed by an emergency c section for DC2. I recovered more quickly from my C section and have no lasting health issues from it, whereas I tore terribly with the natural birth and recovery was terrible. Please don’t worry about how you get your baby out, it really doesn’t matter.

Birth is whatever method gets the baby outside of the mother's body. Ideally, that is done in the safest way possible for both parties and if that's a c-section, then that's a c-section. You are no less of a woman, no less of a mother for giving birth via caesarean. You do what is best, what is safest for both of you. Congratulations on your pregnancy and all the best for the birth .

Planned c-section much easier to recover from that traumatic vaginal birth in my experience. In fact it was a comparative breeze.

Emergency c section followed by a vbac a year and half later, I found the c section easier to recover from. Ultimately, imo, a healthy baby matters more than how they arrived.

You've written that your new baby will be a 'newborn' in your opening post. Not a 'newly sectioned'...

I think it all stems from the "too posh to push" brigade that was prevalent in the 90s. I don't even know if it was a real "thing" just think it started when Posh Spice started having her babies and (I'm guessing) had C sections. It fuelled the whole natural vs surgical birth debate.

You did give birth. Have a read up on types of giving birth, it's definitely on there.

My first was an emergency CS three days after being induced. Second was planned CS. Totally different experiences from quite traumatic to being able to plan childcare, quite calm etc. that's all I've done and I'm just glad I have two healthy DS. I do know how some people may feel like you think you may feel though.

I had a planned then two vbac. Honestly, the c section scar isn't visible. The damage from the vaginal births is there forever. Prolapses and infections from stitches is not fun.

I'd have had 2 more c sections but had very little support post delivery so had to opt for vbac.

It's easier to recover from a planned section than an emergency one. I rested more with my second one and hey presto, it healed quicker with less pain.
A definite planned CS is a much better option than all the hassle of an emergency one.

Also, I'm guessing from a judgement perspective, those who have a planned C section are thought of differently from those who are deemed in need of one due to emergency.
I think the key word is "elective".

I've had 2 planned c-sections and recovery was fine, although I was lucky to have DH on hand for the whole recovery period. It never crossed my mind that it's less of an experience than vaginal birth. Around here it's seen as preferred as rhe pain is more controlled, you can plan the date and it's nice not to risk damage to your private parts.

If you’re being offered an induction and want to try for a vaginal birth, you can. Other peoples opinions about ‘real births’ are irrelevant.

Did a baby get from inside of you to outside of you? Yes? Then you’ve had a real birth. Every birth is different but they are all real.

But most planned are for medical reasons. I wouldn't say it is elective. You can't choose a section because you want one unless you have a good medical reason in the UK.

@YankSplaining it's the dream! 😂

Also, I love being super organised so knowing exact time and date was great.

I never once thought I didn't "give birth". I think that's really really silly

Even your thread title is a bit of an insult to all mothers who had c sections. When you are mothering your dc throughout their childhood and adolescence, how they arrived on the scene will not be in your thoughts much at all. How you mother them is surely more important than how they arrived in the world.