To hope I get pregnant even though my partner withdraws?

[JambalayaFan]

Me and my partner are in a bit of a strange situation. We own our own home, plenty of savings and a very happy stable relationship. He’d like to wait a couple of years to TTC as we are considering emigrating to where his family lives in 2 years, and the emigration process will obviously be more costly with a baby. I on the other hand would like to start trying ASAP as endometriosis/infertility runs in my family on both sides (several aunties never managed to get pregnant, I have loads of lovely adopted cousins). For this reason, I experience great anxiety about any sort of contraception as I so want to become a mother and don’t want to lower the chances when it may already be a struggle.

We have a great relationship and have no trouble discussing things, and we came to a deal. Our deal was that we won’t TTC yet until he is ready but we’ll do the withdrawal method. He accepts the high risk of pregnancy and agrees if it happens we’ll keep the baby. It may seem odd to many but for us it was a fair compromise. He isn’t quite ready to TTC yet but understands I may not have the biological clock that most women do and therefore I don’t want to mess around with my fertility. I know non-hormonal contraception exists, but it’s also about not wanting to miss chances to get pregnant. I haven’t pressured him into anything, he’s welcome to use condoms if he wants but he does know my feelings on the situation and we came to this solution together. I’m sure many reading this are judging but I promise, we have a very healthy relationship. This situation has come from a lot of discussion between me and my partner. It can’t be compared to a situation where woman lies about being on the pill to get pregnant. I was honest with my partner about wanting a baby.

anyway, the reason I am posting is I am curious if anybody has gotten pregnant from the withdrawal method? If so, did he pull out last minute (so he came as soon as he pulled out and didn’t have to touch himself)? Or is he ejaculating with plenty of time to spare? Me and my partner are doing the first one. Feeling a bit disheartened because a few friends and my mother have told me they did pull-out successfully for years, which isn’t good to hear when I’m wanting it to fail!

Hey OP just saw your upset, all the best 🥰

update*

Does his home country have different ideas about parental rights? Women's rights? Will you be able to work there and what is the healthcare like?

But I would be asking him, why specifically TTC in his home country?

I know someone who fell pregnant using withdrawal method but also on the pill, the coil and even had a baby after having a full sterilisation operation (she had conceived before the operation).
All her children were born perfectly healthy and all were dearly loved 🤷‍♀️

I was on the old combined pill for 17 years & in my mid 30's when I got married. My doctor told me that it could take a couple of years to fall pregnant. I fell the first month after I stopped taking the pill.

@JambalayaFan Your partner can't get pregnant. Only you can.

DP has come around to the idea of immigrating with a baby.

Well you've told him it's going to destroy your mental health if he makes you wait, so of course he's come round to it.

What choice have you left him??

Hormones don’t suit me nor does the copper coil, we’ve used withdrawal for 8 years and it’s been highly effective. We do have 2 children but both were planned

Start tracking your cycle (I used an app called Flo). When you are ready to ttc it tells you when you are due to ovulate based off of your previous cycles. First baby I was pregnant within a week, second took a few months but my cycles were all over the place after our first

I’m glad to say we’ve agreed to start TTC officially

After telling him that not getting your own way is going to 'destroy your mental health'?

@GiveItAGoMalcom exactly my thoughts....

Emotional abuse

Also use it and it’s generally pretty reliable if you do it as recommended, which includes retraining when fertile. And I can definitely conceive as have two kids.

If this felt like to much pressure to call it 'trying', then why not just have sex, enjoy sex but don't use anything, and don't pull out.

Take the view of if it happens, it happens.

Funny until it comes to him paying for the child! Then if he isn’t too keen he is a bastard.

And the plot thickens…..you are probably best to try a pregnancy forum. Ladies on here are trying to be helpful overall - from their own personal experience.. you however, want us to say what you want to hear…

Read my latest post, we’ve agreed to TTC

@JambalayaFan he agreed because you used your "mental health" as leverage....

Not a good idea to blackmail someone with that.

Yes, it’s absolutely possible to get pregnant without actual ejaculation happening! One of the most common ways this happens is through pre-ejaculate fluid, also known as pre-cum. This clear fluid is released during arousal, even before a man climaxes. While pre-ejaculate’s main job is to lubricate and neutralize the urethra, it can pick up leftover sperm from a previous ejaculation. Even though the sperm count in pre-cum is much lower than in regular semen, pregnancy is still possible if it meets an egg.

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You're aware that if you move to another country with the baby, you may not be able to come home again if you split, yes?