To hope I get pregnant even though my partner withdraws?

[JambalayaFan]

Me and my partner are in a bit of a strange situation. We own our own home, plenty of savings and a very happy stable relationship. He’d like to wait a couple of years to TTC as we are considering emigrating to where his family lives in 2 years, and the emigration process will obviously be more costly with a baby. I on the other hand would like to start trying ASAP as endometriosis/infertility runs in my family on both sides (several aunties never managed to get pregnant, I have loads of lovely adopted cousins). For this reason, I experience great anxiety about any sort of contraception as I so want to become a mother and don’t want to lower the chances when it may already be a struggle.

We have a great relationship and have no trouble discussing things, and we came to a deal. Our deal was that we won’t TTC yet until he is ready but we’ll do the withdrawal method. He accepts the high risk of pregnancy and agrees if it happens we’ll keep the baby. It may seem odd to many but for us it was a fair compromise. He isn’t quite ready to TTC yet but understands I may not have the biological clock that most women do and therefore I don’t want to mess around with my fertility. I know non-hormonal contraception exists, but it’s also about not wanting to miss chances to get pregnant. I haven’t pressured him into anything, he’s welcome to use condoms if he wants but he does know my feelings on the situation and we came to this solution together. I’m sure many reading this are judging but I promise, we have a very healthy relationship. This situation has come from a lot of discussion between me and my partner. It can’t be compared to a situation where woman lies about being on the pill to get pregnant. I was honest with my partner about wanting a baby.

anyway, the reason I am posting is I am curious if anybody has gotten pregnant from the withdrawal method? If so, did he pull out last minute (so he came as soon as he pulled out and didn’t have to touch himself)? Or is he ejaculating with plenty of time to spare? Me and my partner are doing the first one. Feeling a bit disheartened because a few friends and my mother have told me they did pull-out successfully for years, which isn’t good to hear when I’m wanting it to fail!

Good for you OP. As for your DP; better in than out (if you'll forgive the pun).

Glad op and you have decided to properly ttc

You say be yearning for 10yrs

How old are you ?

Good news OP. Fingers crossed 🤞

Oh what a surprise.......

😮

Good for you op…. Because I used the withdrawal method all through my 20’s and there were no accidents.

i have a pal who is desperate for the withdrawal method to fail with her partner .. and it hasn’t

DH and I used this method successfully for many, many years. 15+.
We are extremely fertile - as soon as he erm, left it in, I was pregnant.
Four wonderful DC’s later he has now had the snip
Maybe not what you wanted to hear…

A number wouldn't identify you.........

But if you leave small bits of information on numerous threads over time, it potentially becomes identifying if someone is inclined to search for whatever reason. Being vague with details is always sensible.

Why are people being so entitled and pushy? She said she doesn't want to tell you so that's that.

Just my two cents but I’m concerned for you with the probable stress of moving to a different country, the time it will take to settle AND trying to have a baby without the support of YOUR family around you.

My partner and I have used the pull out method for years and not fallen pregnant (although I am early 40’s now so assuming fertility is lower now). I have a child from a previous relationship so was able to get pregnant. I think your chances are low with the pull out method done properly and could end up getting yourself more worried about your fertility this way. The only person I know who has fallen pregnant with pull out method is drunk sex where the other person definitely didn’t pull out in time.

Sorry just seen your update - that’s great

I came off the pill as I’d been on it a long time. I also had tests for abdominal pain which resulted in me being told I had ovarian cysts and would find it difficult to conceive. I was 23. I wasn’t bothered as I thought I had plenty of time. Boyfriend was aware. He was keen to have kids, me not so much.

I went on holiday with friends and they wouldn’t know it but I spent a lot of the holiday thinking about how my life could be without kids. I decided I was young enough to try ivf if I wanted, but no rush.

My boyfriend proposed to me when I got back from that holiday and I found out I was pregnant 16 days later. Much to our shock!

Anyway he’s now my husband, the drs quickly backtracked and said it was an issue with my bowel when I questioned the fertility issues I’d been warned of shortly before the pregnancy. LOL. We have more kids and that was 14 years ago!!!

You want a baby now and he wants one later, you've agreed to essentially try and it's normal that your dream outcome is quick conception and his is slow! Sounds fine to me!

What a nasty comment. She is using the method that they both agreed on and talked about the situation IF… I would say that she and her partner are showing maturity not that it was the question anyway 🤦🏼‍♀️

you should keep any unhelpful comment for yourself.

She asked for advice and opinions; it can't be a one way street, surely?

Oh for God's sake just get pregnant and stop being so annoying.

Good for you OP - honestly I think this is a really good decision. There is no "perfect" time for a baby. Hope your ttc journey is smooth x

Good luck !

I think this is actually a really sensible question that should be posed to your partner OP. History of infertility in the family and possible endometriosis, it’s not as easy as clicking your fingers and having a baby in a couple or years. It doesn’t work like that for everyone. You have to ask yourselves what the time sensitive priority is right now

Well done for spelling out your real feelings to him OP.
Happy for you. Good luck !

If you both want a baby now and you’re likely to have trouble conceiving then I wouldn’t wait two more years to find out if that’s actually the case. The younger you are the more chance you have of fertility treatments working, if they’re needed.

It's extremely unreliable. If you WANT to get pregnant by it, make sure he's pretty excited before entry as he'll have produced semen anyway. Oral without ejaculation can encourage this too. Do this when you're at your most fertile.

Although it's all a bit Bridgerton for me.

Hi,

DH and I naively used the pull out method after already having 2 children. I say naively but deep down I think we may have always tried at some point for a 3rd child and it work for 18 months and then we got pregnant. My DH swears that he can remember the actual time and remembers thinking it was a bit of a close call. So really depends how close you are cutting it.

I have endometriosis. I did not want children my husband did. We did not use contraception but I tracked my cycle and ovulation to avoid pregnancy. This was our compromise. After 7 years this failed as I ovulated early in the month. I was 37 when I got pregnant. Technically a “geriatric” mum. I know it’s a worry and I understand why you would be happy if it failed. You aren’t unreasonable for your feelings.

I think it’s a but strange that you are assuming you are infertile through endo. Get the tests and find that out first. Sounds like it’s just drama for no reason tbh