Furious with DD's swimwear

[FFSTeenagers]

Someone talk me down please!

On holiday with elderly parents and elderly in-laws - wonderful people. 15 yr old DD has emerged from her room to go to the pool in 5he smallest of bikinis. I can almost see her vagina.

I feel fucking ancient saying this. I hate myself for even feeling like this but she has zero modesty.

I bought her 3 bikinis (together - we went together) from Roxy and Next - lovely ones. Not one has arrived and instead she has bought, without my knowledge, 4 from shein that are not for her curvy build. Barely any material and I'm really embarrassed.

Confronting her has gone downhill rapidly and she's claiming that I'm hardly a feminist as 'she should be able to wear what she likes as it's her body'. She's not bloody wrong but what the hell happened to my daughter's modesty.

My parents and in-laws are sensing the atmosphere already and we only arrived an hour ago.

AIBU?

What the fuck is wrong with you

So just report it! Don't quote it you loon!

Why has the been deleted??

I work in a school and am ever horrified at how much flesh is on display these days. They may as well be naked.

my advice - borrow a bikini off her and see how she likes that.

@IdgieThreadgoodeIsMyHeroine again, for the smart-arse faux medics on the thread:

We all know what the OP meant by “vagina”. As you’re so keen to engage in this pedantry: X-rays tend to expose hard tissue structures, so wouldn’t differentiate between vagina and vulva in any event. What you’ll probably see on x rays is much further up or down I.e. pelvis or hip sockets.

I can’t seem to find that original post but I really hope someone wouldn’t do this.

I am glad I have boys as I never have to deal with the minefield that is scanty dressing. Although I know if I had a fifteen year old girl I’d be pretty blunt and say it’s not appropriate around her grandparents and I don’t want an eyeful of her fanny either thank you very much.

Is it those Bianca Censori style bikini she wears all the time?!? I mean - those are pretty crazy skimpy. I mean - I have a daughter and I probably wouldn’t be happy.

oh thank goodness someone finally said it...in all these pages and pages of replies

Has she bought thong bikinis -her grandparents probably don’t want be seeing her arse. From being abroad recently yep some bikinis are giving a lot away judging from some male reactions and observing them having a good look. My advice would be make sure you lay on a sun lounger very carefully 😂
I would want her to know I wasn’t happy either but I’d make sure I get some photos to embarrass her with when she is a parent! To late now she has made her arse our choice! At least she has confidence….

Now I’m pretty modest and have pretty strict clothing rules, but the only one uncomfortable from the first post is OP.

Why is the grandparents holiday more important than the daughters?

On a group holiday all are equally important, otherwise why bother?

Curvy is not synonymous with "overweight."

I was a curvy size 6 from age 13. Large breasts, somewhat full hips, but small frame. I totally get where OP is coming from.

Bloody Nora. They are skimpy.

If she does enjoy swimming, then let her get on and wear them. They don't look like they are very sturdy, so I suspect she might find herself spending more time readjusting them than swimming. Hopefully the bikinis themselves will be the biggest deterrent.

No I wouldn’t let my 15 year old wear that. There is probably some middle ground to be found. Personally I would go and look at all 3 she has with her, see if any are slightly better. But ultimately I would take her to get a more suitable one. Maybe the tops wouldn’t look so bad with a less skimpy bottom, or pop some shorts on. My own daughter has some bikinis from shein, but with a proper bikini bottom. Try to resolve it quickly so it doesn’t ruin the holiday, and discuss back at home.

Do not do this. I can confidently (from experience) say this doesn’t work.

All you’ll get is your DD congratulating you on your body positivity whilst you’re dying inside, feeling mortified that all your saggy bits are on full display but having to style it out to prove a point.

I have no advice OP but we are due to go away with the in-laws in a few weeks, so if you find a solution, please let me know!

oh thank goodness someone finally said it...in all these pages and pages of replies

Absolutely loads of people have said it. 👀

I agree with OP completely.

I have a daughter the same age and wouldn't be happy at all and insist she change. All the time she lives under my roof and I'm paying for the holidays I have the final say.

I would try talking to her first and say to her they are not appropriate for this occasion- in the same way it wouldn't be appropriate to wear something low cut or revealing to a church.

Whilst women should be able to wear whatever we want it often just isn't the case. Ultimately, once she is an adult it is her decision to make but all the time she is an actual child it is my job to safeguard her and teach her what I believe is right and wrong.

Key word: granddaughter

REALLY??

Has she modeled said bikinis for her father? Lets get him in on this.

If you can tell someone’s had a full wax in gym leggings, you’re probably looking a little too closely.

She is a child aged 15! She doesn’t quite realise…
If she was an adult, obviously she can wear she likes
There will obviously be dirty old men perving on her and I would never allow my own daughter to wear a 1-inch triangle on each nipple, a la Bianca Censori.
Would you?

It’s not a group holiday, it’s a family holiday. Everyone is not equally important under those circumstances. The OP’s DD is a child.

The question is what can OP do about it. A major mother daughter battle of wills will ruin the holiday for everyone. But as a mother she has a responsibility to make DD cover up. Hopefully a firm chat explaining why exhibitionism isnt appropriate and why wearing this around GPs isnt ok. But if DD doesn't see sense after a chat I'm not sure what I would do. What I would like to do is at dinner time say I'm still too embarrassed to be seen with her and would she rather stay in her room while we go to the restaurant.

If she argues I can do what I want with my body then so can OP, she can choose not to be around someone who she is ashamed of, she can choose to not spend her money on someone who doesn't respect the family. It's a horrible situation to be in for OP.

This may surprise you, but l agree. Different situation. x

Or even better, distribute all 3 among family members, grandad included 🤣