Furious with DD's swimwear

[FFSTeenagers]

Someone talk me down please!

On holiday with elderly parents and elderly in-laws - wonderful people. 15 yr old DD has emerged from her room to go to the pool in 5he smallest of bikinis. I can almost see her vagina.

I feel fucking ancient saying this. I hate myself for even feeling like this but she has zero modesty.

I bought her 3 bikinis (together - we went together) from Roxy and Next - lovely ones. Not one has arrived and instead she has bought, without my knowledge, 4 from shein that are not for her curvy build. Barely any material and I'm really embarrassed.

Confronting her has gone downhill rapidly and she's claiming that I'm hardly a feminist as 'she should be able to wear what she likes as it's her body'. She's not bloody wrong but what the hell happened to my daughter's modesty.

My parents and in-laws are sensing the atmosphere already and we only arrived an hour ago.

AIBU?

😂

You are NOT being unreasonable, I'm sure none of you want to basically see her vag.

Ask her if she’d be happy if you wore it?

Shein should have a new tagline: "buy our empowering bikinis" 😂

You are the adult here and you get to decide.

Vulva....no thanks. I'm with you and probably would have handled it badly but wish I wouldn't! It's hard to handle things well when we've been triggered by something and who knows when those triggers are going to spring up! It may be possible to reconnect with her if you can be honest about your triggers and fears....only you can know how to approach that. Sometimes a conversation needs to wait and go for "I'm sorry I...... please forgive me for...." right now. I might even say nothing, borrow one of hers and turn up in it by the pool 😉

Me too. It’s a baffling non-issue for anyone with any sense. And I have a 15 year old daughter.

I’m worried it’s going to keep popping up now I’ve searched!

I know!! That's definitely going to impact your algorithms! 😂

It is not bollocks.
You are calling 15y old "curvy" whiles she is size 6.
That is xs. She is slim.

You can dress yourself in modest bikiny by your standards but don't expect your daughter to wear clothes she does not like. She is 15, not 5.

I went through a phase of getting hundreds of adverts for booty shorts. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

Sunburn. That’ll be her comeuppance.

You are going to have to find somewhere that sells suitably modest swimwear.

15 year olds are children and so they don’t make all the decisions.

But they still make tan lines? And expose rather sensitive bits to the sun

I agree with this. I wouldn't let my DD wear something like that in front of elderly relatives.

Plus I'd be fuming if she left the bikinis we bought together at home and bought her own.

I'm not surprised you're pissed off OP.

I had scrunch bum leggings ads for a long time

You can dress yourself in modest bikiny by your standards but don't expect your daughter to wear clothes she does not like. She is 15, not 5.

Prescisely. She's 15, not a 5 year old who can run around naked.

Also jumping in to defend the OP @FFSTeenagers although she doesn't need it - she went on to say that her DD is "curvy" because she has curves. Hips and boobs. She is not a Kate Moss style superwaif with a straight up and down figure. She is not "body shaming" her DD by saying she is overweight and therefore should only be wearing smocks.

Reading comprehension = dying art.

Do you understand that you can be a size 6 waist but that your boobs can be bigger?

I'm a 12 waist but an F cup. The kind of bikini OP has described would not cover my boobs. They are not designed for curvy chests. Not if you want to be able to actually use them as swimwear and not just for posing by the pool basically naked.

For everyone else saying this. Curvy is a body type. It does not mean fat/overweight or anything like that. It means you have curves.

This!! This is where a whole generation of parents have lost the plot. Parent... your children! So fed up of people just giving children free rein.

Curvy means boobs and hips. Not a size. Learn what words mean.

Feel your pain. We have given up on this. It’s not the hill Dh and I are dying on. All my friends in same boat have done the same.

Frankly anyone not currently parenting a 15 year old sociable confident fashion conscious girl should shut up - it’s easier said than done.

The skimpy ones on Shein, etc are for sexy boat parties and pool parties, not family holidays around Nan and grandad. I don’t think you’re unreasonable at all.

For everyone else saying this. Curvy is a body type. It does not mean fat/overweight or anything like that. It means you have curves.

I agree @IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos
I think it is because nowadays curvy is used as a euphemism for overweight.