Furious with DD's swimwear

[FFSTeenagers]

Someone talk me down please!

On holiday with elderly parents and elderly in-laws - wonderful people. 15 yr old DD has emerged from her room to go to the pool in 5he smallest of bikinis. I can almost see her vagina.

I feel fucking ancient saying this. I hate myself for even feeling like this but she has zero modesty.

I bought her 3 bikinis (together - we went together) from Roxy and Next - lovely ones. Not one has arrived and instead she has bought, without my knowledge, 4 from shein that are not for her curvy build. Barely any material and I'm really embarrassed.

Confronting her has gone downhill rapidly and she's claiming that I'm hardly a feminist as 'she should be able to wear what she likes as it's her body'. She's not bloody wrong but what the hell happened to my daughter's modesty.

My parents and in-laws are sensing the atmosphere already and we only arrived an hour ago.

AIBU?

@Ottervision
If you'd be happy with your teen girl in a bikini as skimpy as the op describes, more fool you.

Seriously though - I recently went to Rocky Horror wearing suspenders for the first time under... well not much. I felt fucking amazing. Striding around in heels, suspenders, short skirt and low cut top.

Nothing to do with what men thought of me. It made ME feel good. The positive comments (which were mostly other women and gay men) just helped but came AFTER I'd already decided I felt GOOD

Say 'age appropriate' then. Don't reach for the M word. Do better. The words you use reveal your thinking - or lack of it.

Also have a big problem with Shein, personally

And those bikinis are not suitable

Shein is crap, bad taste and poor quality. I can imagine how awful it looks. But - you cant do anything, really, just let her wear it and make sure she is not left alone.

Last year, I have seen quite a lot of pre-teen and teen kids in Sitges going nude on the beach. I was shocked. But. No one died.

I see you really do want to perpetuate victim blaming

You're an adult.

This!

My barometer of is it feminist is - are the dudes doing it? Are they wandering around the pool with everything hanging out and quite frankly impractical and uncomfortable swim stuff - no they aren’t. This is hypersexualisation of a child for the benefit of men.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · Today 20:12
Seriously though - I recently went to Rocky Horror wearing suspenders for the first time under... well not much. I felt fucking amazing. Striding around in heels, suspenders, short skirt and low cut top.

Nothing to do with what men thought of me. It made ME feel good. The positive comments (which were mostly other women and gay men) just helped but came AFTER I'd already decided I felt GOOD

In my opinion, men look rather silly in suspenders.

I will go against what most posters have said.

Sexualising kids is not ok.

And the Scandinavian model that many are advocating is a lifestyle that the Scandinavians grew up with but the rest of the holiday makers where the OP is, hadn’t.

Bottom line, sexualising kids is not ok.

Why are people making these ridiculous comparisons?

A (presumably) grown woman going to a musical performance known for being risque and encouraging stockings/corsets is in no way similar to a FIFTEEN YEAR OLD CHILD on a family holiday, wearing a bikini so small it leaves nothing to the imagination.

No-one dying is a low bar.

I think your right OP it's inappropriate for a teenager to wear something which is very skimpy.
It's not about body shaming it's simply about not sexualising someone so young.

Give her 15 mins say I'm sorry but they are not appropriate for your age. Let's go to the shop and buy something which is more appropriate and start the holiday over. If she refuses simply state then it's going to be a long 3 weeks with you hot not in a pool.

There must be somewhere you can buy a more suitable one. People forget their swimming costumes it's an essential when you go abroad. My sister forgot hers one year she managed to get one even they she was at least a size 22 plus.

I have no idea. People don't get it. They should go into a secondary school and see how non uniform days have changed in the last few years..

Make sure she pays you back for the wasted ones

When some one wears inappropriate clothing why do some people explain it as being " body confident"?
Being body confident doesn't mean you have to put your whole body totally on display. It smacks of exhibitionism, a need for people to look at you, not confidence.

Or better still get granny to wear one!!

Why is that better?

True, I wore a black Speedo swimsuit and still do (in a larger size) - I’ve never owned a bikini.

what brings you to that conclusion? Explain.

Victim-blaming? Victim of what? Are you suggesting that perhaps, by wearing that, she could be in the sights of someone with less-than-stellar intentions? If so, do you think asking them to stop what they're thinking/doing will work?

Idealism is an escape from reality.

Is it this sort of number? Btw I put it as ‘sensitive content’ but it’s just a model in a Shein bikini from their website.

kindly, i think being ‘furious’ about this is silly, you should be enjoying your holiday, don’t spoil it for yourself by worrying about this and creating a bad atmosphere. teenage fashion is strange sometimes - the bikini in question sounds trendy for the younger generation and attitudes to these things are changing - i can’t imagine many 15 year olds would want to wear one from next. it really isn’t a big deal at all - a body is a body and you (and your parents) don’t need to make it weird or something it’s not. if she’s comfortable, let her cart on and don’t stress yourself out, it’ll just end up causing unnecessary friction

I meant to embarrass DD with OP and granny leaving it all hang out.