Furious with DD's swimwear

[FFSTeenagers]

Someone talk me down please!

On holiday with elderly parents and elderly in-laws - wonderful people. 15 yr old DD has emerged from her room to go to the pool in 5he smallest of bikinis. I can almost see her vagina.

I feel fucking ancient saying this. I hate myself for even feeling like this but she has zero modesty.

I bought her 3 bikinis (together - we went together) from Roxy and Next - lovely ones. Not one has arrived and instead she has bought, without my knowledge, 4 from shein that are not for her curvy build. Barely any material and I'm really embarrassed.

Confronting her has gone downhill rapidly and she's claiming that I'm hardly a feminist as 'she should be able to wear what she likes as it's her body'. She's not bloody wrong but what the hell happened to my daughter's modesty.

My parents and in-laws are sensing the atmosphere already and we only arrived an hour ago.

AIBU?

She didn’t shame her body ffs stop using phrases you clearly don’t understand. She didn’t comment on her daughter’s body. She said the clothing was inappropriate. She’s a child and her mother has every right. I’d take the offensive items away and replace them with acceptable ones. When she’s an adult paying for her yen holidays she can wear what see liked till then you pay, she’s a child, she follows your rules.

Say your piece express your views and then move on
realistically what can you do

Supervised by parents and grandmother?

And you're behaving like a sanctimonious, known it all, twat

I'm a teacher OP and fully support you. The pendulum has swung too far, and we can't tackle it at all.
At my school multiple staff have now brought up skimpy clothing on non uniform day and been told to not tackle , and the skirts are so short, multiple staff have flagged the fact we can literally see sanitary towels now as a matter of course. We were told to leave it alone. A lot of our girls and similar schools use public transport / tube home and its scary to think who is leering at them

Mum to a teen DD and would be furious too. DD is older - almost 19 - and is off to the Med with a couple of friends later this week. She has bought a couple of bikinis which are twice the size of the examples linked.

https://www.prettylittlething.com/orange-flame-print-tie-side-bikini-bottoms.html

This sort of thing, and as DD is fairly flat-chested, they are not overly skimpy. And I wouldn't imagine DD and her friends will be doing any swimming, just sitting around the pool, dipping themselves but keeping their hair dry and make-up on.

She's 15 - a child - but thinks she knows it all. I'm not sure how I would have handled it at that age either OP, but I probably would have had a screaming row with her which would have ended in her sulking. She's bad enough when I insisted she use sunscreen. Depending on where you are, there must be either a shop where you can get more appropriate swimming gear, or a large scarf/sarong/wrap which she can wear.

Wishing you luck!!

It's hypersexualised for teenage girls. On non uniform day we had yr7 girls in crop tops, tiny shorts and halter tops. The boys were all in baggy jeans or joggers and loose tshirts. The 6th form girls are in those tight leggings with crop tops or boob tubes. It's not feminist, it's about presenting a sexualised image.

Oh shut up. You know what she means . Women lecturing other women about what they are allowed to say 🙄

How could you possibly see her vagina?

Love this idea me.

Yes! The boys are covered and baggy, the girls in smaller clothing than ever

Would I let my 15-year-old wear a bikini like the ones shown on here?

Yes, I have. They're 21 and 17 now but they still wear things I wish wouldn't. The 21 yo wanders around in actual underwear sometimes. I do joke with her a lot asking when she's going to put her dress/telling her I can see what she had for lunch on etc but I would never comment on her body shape, ever.

And if my Dad was embarrassed to look at them (not that he ever has been) I'd tell him to stop fucking looking and to stop sexualizing his own, underaged grandchildren.

I’m glad you said this. Actually most of the Scandinavian teens I’ve seen are wearing much more modest bikinis. Nudity is not a bid deal and not sexualised in the same way, therefore the6 don’t seem to feel the need to wear overtly sexual bikinis. Just a normal bikini is fine. I see more arse cheeks in the uk than in the Scandinavian country we visit often. It markedly noticeable in the uk.

Brilliant idea!

https://m.youtube.com/shorts/cubudoJdCtA----

I am totally with you on this, @FFSTeenagers - but Mumsnet is the wrong place to post, really (and particularly AIBU) because bodily freedom apparently trumps reality. (Yes, I know that reality isn't fair and you want it to change. Life isn't fair, and it won't change.)

Take her shopping locally and buy more appropriate ones? At her expense definitely.
I wouldnt be happy with my daughter wearing something like that. Or being near anyone else that was, adult, teen or child.

Can everyone stop discussing a 15 year old girl’s vagina! OP sorry but this Is awful posting this for discussion! Go and parent, get this thread taken down. That’s your daughter everyone is discussing here! Ffs I’m sorry but this is just hideous!

Sort of cross post - I agree. Our girls yr7-11 all seem to wear those tube skirts which are very tiny and very tight and just cover the arse.
Before anyone comes on saying they wore short skirts as a teen - things are fat worse now with phones and the Internet.

Don't forget the ones who are quizzically 'confused' over and over again. Even though if this were true, they'd be dead thick and unable to gain meaning from context

Being near them? Is it catching or?

She will, and she won’t let her Mum on her Instagram.

Oh fgs the whole point of this type of bikini is pornified sexualisation.

Yes it's much worse . 25 years teaching and I've never seen it like it.