Been told my child is very weird and childish

[Gee54]

I don’t know where to go from here. I got told by a mum in my daughters class that people say she’s very silly and weird. My daughter is 10 years old. How can I fix this? Where to start from? She’s the eldest of 3 kids. I don’t want this to continue into secondary school. Not first time I’ve realised this but hearing someone else say it has upset me. I e spoken to her school and her lovely teacher but they all say it’s slightly immaturity but as a summer born (August birthday) it has been seen in others too. School don’t think it’s anything to worry about and the SEN lead observed her a few months back and said she’s fine and doesn’t think it’s anything ND related. It’s just hearing the mum say this today has upset me.

PS FWIW my daughter did Rainbows, Brownies and Guides. It was just somewhere else she stood out a bit, not so much in Rainbows but the other two...even the Brown Owl commented about her being different.

She's fine.
Tell that Mum to keep her opinions to herself.

^^

It’s not ironic I just don’t have my specs on and I’m 3 hours ahead of U.K. so it’s late here 😆

The OP questioned her dds immaturity- tbe school said she is fine.

But as we know MN is a haven for arm chair diagnostics so of course posters will say the school is wrong!

And I see what you did there regarding me having an issue with children with autism.. Nope again… I worked with kids for over a decade ( see above message) Most NT kids were bat shit, I also worked with kids with SN. It just makes my teeth itch when posters label kids when they have zero diagnostic skills or real information …. Oh wait we have a 10 year olds word 🙈

Nowt wrong with your daughter but everything wr9ng with the school mum. Just say to her 'Oh really, I heard them say the same about you!' Do a tinkly laugh and a little head tilt towards the playground & watch the colour drain from her face.

One half of her brain will think you're lying but the other half will panic in case you're right. But she can't ask anyone so you'll have properly fucked with her head over the summer.

All the best people were weird and childish at 10. The problem is the other Mum.

None of that would happen, she'd just think op was a total weirdo 🙄

The OP questioned her dds immaturity- tbe school said she is fine
Op has seen enough of her own daughter's behaviour to be concerned. I imagine she knows her better than anyone at school, or you.

Not very nice of another Mum to speak about a child in this way!

The thing is neurodivergence in girls can often go unnoticed by schools especially if they do fine academically.

I think some other children might have called me immature or silly at age 10, but no one would have said ND because I was academically bright.

My son has been diagnosed with ADHD (he is 10 in fact) - I strongly suspect that I also have it and am on the waiting list for an assessment. They say that kids with ADHD are emotionally 2-4 years less mature than their peers.

How about the group of students Op's dc is annoying all the time laughing loudly at her as their authentic inner feeling is that OP's dd is being ridiculous or telling her that she's weird and annoying, as this reflects their authentic feelings?

Too late, I'm guessing this post is designed to make posters talk about 💩- mission accomplished. What a waste of time. I'm sure OP's dd will do just great, expressing her inner most interest in 💩 👌.

What do they mean exactly? I bet it’s not into certain types of music, make up and social media and good for her. I bet that your dd is brilliant. Girls and women can get shut down by society controlling them so let her continue to be her outstanding self.

Thank you everyone. I’m still reading all the comments and will continue to do so. Thank you do much for all the insight and advice given

Something you could perhaps try, OP, is to give your daughter a bit more responsibility - to encourage her to mature a little.

Only things like making her bed, helping to plan what you eat, asking for things in shops etc.

They don’t enjoy her telling them she likes poo

@Suzieandthemonkeyfeet i agree with all of your comments on this thread. People are so quick to want a diagnosis as a reason for a child just acting like a child. All these unnecessary labels do more harm than good. Some of the responses on here show why the world is so messed up 🥴

The school said that she's less mature than her peers because she's an August birthday. This child is nearly 11. The behaviour OP describes would be immature for an 8 year old.

Walking up to strangers and saying "I like poop" is not normal behaviour for a 10 year old, and it's not just a bit quirky, it's miles outside of social norms and for good reason. There is something wrong. Some posters are saying that something could potentially be autism, based on their own experiences of autism.

Schools are completely useless at noticing ND, especially in girls. The private service which helped my stepdaughter obtain her diagnosis actually took it upon herself to write to the school, copying in other professionals, to say she was appalled they hadn't picked up on "very obvious combined type ADHD". My school reports are basically a run down of ADHD symptoms and I was diagnosed at 24. I don't consider schools' opinions to be of any worth at all.

I agree that is unsettling to be saying to other kids but could it come from a book? I can’t remember the name exactly ‘Captain Underpants’? It reminds me of part of this cartoon but I might be wrong.

There's only about 40 kids books about poo on Amazon 🤣 My fav when mine were that age was about a Mole. He didn't like poo either.

Those 40 books are not aimed at 10 year old.

it seems to be more about the inability to follow guidance from mum not to do this (as people not finding it funny) and about the social skills to build positive relationships… replace poo with any other irritating attention seeking behaviour it doesn’t matter, the principle Is the same

And even if they were, there's a difference between a poo joke (not my humour at all but a lot of kids/adults find it funny) and just saying, "I like poo."

Sorry but i would find this weird for a 10 year old girl to go round saying this, it's odd. I have a ds10 but none of the girls in his class would do this, even the summer babies.

You've had some good advice here so I hope you manage to navigate this with luck.

@YorkshireTeaBiscuits

yeah she would. No one behaves like that in real life. “Tinkly laugh”?! No. Just no.

Thing is even if ops daughter was or is doing it to fit in and be funny it’s not working it’s actually alienating her more. Op wanted to know what the issues may be.

Im not expecting girls to fit into some tiny perfect box. One of mine is actually stem school where girls are the minority trying to fight the system of getting girls into stem I’m all for outside the box.

But poo funny hehehehe at 10 isn’t funny, she’s been told it isn’t. Her peers tell her it isn’t. She’s still insistent though.

Can you imagine, it would get round the other parents that the dd got her odd behaviour from her mum quicker than a dose of the shits

No one in rl does a tinkly laugh and a head tilt . Madness