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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

CF Neigbour Using Hot Tub

425 replies

grandmabrown · 22/07/2024 17:10

Summer 2022 we suspect someone was using our garden while we were out as things began to move and on occasions the hot tub appeared used. We didn't think too much of it to be honest, with teenage children (who denied using it) things do often move and we were busy so didnt give it too much thought. Looking back now though that is when things started happening. Earlier in 2024 we went away and, upon return, a friend commented that she had popped round on her way past, nobody answered the door, she heard noises in the back garden and had come in through the side gate. There greeted by a family, using our hot tub and garden, who told her we had gone to X location and would be back on X date (both details correct), they were watching the house for us. When we got back we were baffled, asked around, nobody knew anything. We are part of a neighbourhood watch whatsapp group. We all keep an eye on each others cars and houses when away and update one another if we see anyone acting strange hanging round or any crime. We asked on this group and nobody had seen anything but one of the group members helped my husband to install security cameras and a ring doorbell and nothing has happened since.

Fast forward to now, my street-neighbour, lets call her Helen (as this is her name), and I have always been on a smile and wave basis. I only know her families names from the Christmas cards we send/receive. Recently Helen has been acting off towards me and I appear to be annoying her by existing. She will sigh if she sees me and I have caught her on more than one occasion glaring across at me and pointing at my house while talking. I have become sick of this and asked another neighbour, who I am friendly with, what was going on. Neutral neighbour seemed very awkward and said she didn't want to stir the pot or tell tales. Eventually she said Helen was annoyed at me as I had promised her use of my garden and hot tub for her sons birthday/end of term party but had revoked it and "caused a scene" about intruders, which she know was aimed at her, on the neighbourhood Whatsapp. Apparently the party was due to be when we are on holiday and I had said if she kept an eye on the house they could have full run of the garden but changed my mind, leaving her son with nowhere to host and all his friends thinking the party is going ahead. Helen said we have had this arrangement before and she does not understand why I am changing it now. This is not true. At all. I have never had a conversation with her, let alone offered to host a party for her. I checked with DH & DC and nobody has spoken to them or said they can use our property to host.

I have a million questions for her but don't know where to start. Obviously I now believe they were the family using our garden and it explains how she knew locations and return dates of our holidays. I do not know how to approach this or what to ask. Surely they will deny it. But the outright lie she has told our neighbour is harder to deny. What do I do? There is no way they are using my garden but now I am also worried that, when we go away, our garden may be used. The cameras will alert us on our phones and we can ring the police but I would really rather not cause a neighbour dispute and end up down that route. I am absolutely baffled by the audacity that someone would do this and then be mad about it, without ever even having a conversation with me.

OP posts:
Redburnett · 22/07/2024 23:22

AI. That is all.

Thedayb4youcame · 22/07/2024 23:27

tuvamoodyson · 22/07/2024 22:43

Along with ‘I hate confrontation’ and ‘I was too shocked to say anything!’

😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅

IDontLikePinaColadas · 22/07/2024 23:31

321user123 · 22/07/2024 23:07

I’m sorry….. WHAAAAAATTT?????
How were they even getting in?!?

They had the key in case of emergencies. I actually spoke to my DM about it this evening following this thread, and she thinks it was when the neighbour’s family were borrowing their house (this is in another country) and their family were letting their friends stay in my DM’s house. Even more batshit than I remembered it being!

Outliers · 22/07/2024 23:38

She'd definitely get a piece of my mind and a two piece.

WearyAuldWumman · 22/07/2024 23:40

IDontLikePinaColadas · 22/07/2024 23:31

They had the key in case of emergencies. I actually spoke to my DM about it this evening following this thread, and she thinks it was when the neighbour’s family were borrowing their house (this is in another country) and their family were letting their friends stay in my DM’s house. Even more batshit than I remembered it being!

Edited

The dealer who sold us our campervan (and converted it for us) was storing it as well.

Short version - he was renting it out while DH was in hospital undergoing a triple bypass. When we eventually got the van back, I found a towel that didn't belong to us and sand.

The dealer denied renting it out.

Then I found a sticker for a campsite we'd never been to...

Peachy2005 · 22/07/2024 23:47

It seems obvious that you should post in the Whats App group that someone has been taking advantage of the information in the Whats App group to trespass and use your garden and hot-tub and that you never granted such permission and never asked anyone to tend your garden in exchange for using it. That way all the neighbours will know for the future and also people may need to rethink what information they post in the group. I don’t know why you would be worried about causing any ill-feeling as you have never spoken to the neighbour in question.

OhcantthInkofaname · 22/07/2024 23:50

Maybe Helen has been told you okayed this use by her teenager/husband.

Imthefairyonthetree · 22/07/2024 23:57

this has nothing to do with this post but made me think if this guy who makes up songs over social media arguments. This character is Helen.

vm.tiktok.com/ZGentHwVR/

Allie47 · 23/07/2024 00:13

SwirledIntoPoems · 22/07/2024 17:15

Could Helen's husband/partner/whoever have told her that you had given permission and so Helen believed they were using your hot tub with your knowledge and agreement the whole time? And then she thought your WhatsApp messages were a passive aggressive way to revoke that permission? It's so weird for her to have made up a narrative and to be angry with you if she is fully aware that you never agreed to let them use it!

She made up this narrative because she thought her family may be identified by the friend who saw them, she was going to try bluff through it with the neighbours if that happened. What a CF! She's got some balls.

Nanaof1 · 23/07/2024 00:51

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Tarquina · 23/07/2024 01:04

Install an electric fence

MustBeGinOclock · 23/07/2024 01:15

I'd be straight round there asking to clarify who told her she could use your tub etc. Not on.

ThinWomansBrain · 23/07/2024 01:17

I'd leave it, as you suggest she'd probably deny it.
She seems to have got the message - who's going to believe the odd story that you gave free run of your garden to someone you're not particularly friends with?
Get a good lock on the gate
If your cameras pick up activity and you do catch her using it, post the images on whatsapp with a 'someone's broken into my garden again.
Maybe leave a key with a good friend so that they can intervene if necessary.

JennyJenny8675309 · 23/07/2024 02:38

Scissorsisters · 22/07/2024 17:15

Lock your garden gate, unplug and drain the hot tub when you go away and don't give it another thought.
Your neighbour is a CF.

Order a sign for your gate that states video cameras are in use.

Fraaahnces · 23/07/2024 03:14

I think you put an anonymous story up on the neighbourhood fb group about discovering a Neighbour you only knew to nod and smile at had been taking advantage of your regular trips away to organise a hot tub birthday party at your place for her child unbeknownst to you. Now that you had security cameras up, her plans had unraveled and she was badmouthing you to all and sundry. Warn neighbours to lock up their hot tubs if they plan to be away the weekend of X date and have cameras installed.

autienotnaughti · 23/07/2024 03:42

bouncybouncingboobies · 22/07/2024 17:22

I’d update on street what app with a jolly message that says- Hi All, I heard a really funny rumour the other day- apparently I ‘rent out’ or ‘let’ people use my garden and hot pool. Just to clarify, this is not, never has been or ever will be the case. It’s our garden, not Thorpe Park! LOL

FCF- Fucking Cheeky Fucker!

I'd say this and maybe say if anyone notices anything suspicious let me know.

I'd also padlock you gate and drain your hot tub

DysonSphere · 23/07/2024 05:46

IDontLikePinaColadas · 22/07/2024 17:33

My DM had something similar and discovered her neighbours were letting their family actually stay in her house whilst she and my DSF were away - they would try to put everything back exactly as it was but small things were out of place and she knew when she found a random toothbrush in the bathroom!

Unsurprisingly they denied all knowledge, even though she had proof, but it never happened again - all awkwardness seems to have died down now, but it did take a while.

Reading the thread I thought co-opting someone's hot tub was next world...but now I've officially heard it all!! Audacious doesn't even cut it!!

DysonSphere · 23/07/2024 05:53

Redburnett · 22/07/2024 23:22

AI. That is all.

Oh bummer.

Is this what's happening now?

Was entertaining though.

Cartwrightandson · 23/07/2024 06:33

If they felt you had given them permission, then why didn't they say it was them who'd used your garden/hot tub while you have been away when you asked and enquired?

They stopped doing it when there was CCTV because they know they didn't have permission and shouldn't have been using the garden/hot tub.

The anger is all and act to safe face and blame you for the go hot tub party not happening.

Peterbeardwy · 23/07/2024 06:33

Op won’t be back, because this is obvious nonsense

Rubyupbeat · 23/07/2024 06:48

When my boys were small, my next door neighbours had a pool and the most amazing playground equipment. They would quite often invite my boys in, to play with theirs in the garden, when they went away they used to say, use our garden as your own (our garden were the same size, but ours was nowhere near as exciting as theirs) We always refused as I would have felt really uncomfortable being on their property with them not there.
How someone can do what your neighbours have done, is way beyond cheeky.

MelainesLaugh · 23/07/2024 06:55

I’d be correcting them on the WhatsApp group. Or you’ll be the one being seen as the big baddie

GlitteryUnicornSparkles · 23/07/2024 07:07

Apileofballyhoo · 22/07/2024 17:41

How did she know your holiday dates when you've never spoken to her?

This is what I don’t understand either!?

RottenApplesSpoilTheLot · 23/07/2024 07:14

GlitteryUnicornSparkles · 23/07/2024 07:07

This is what I don’t understand either!?

<sigh> as she said in the OP they have a neighbourhood WhatsApp group where they TELL everyone they are going away so they can keep a mutual eye on each other's houses. The only people who knew where she was going and for how long were members of the WA group - neighbours.

My neighbour and I do the same (neither of us has a HT!) - and in my last house we did have a street wide group and we would do this. The group started during lockdown, as many did, and just continued.

with some neighbours I've had in the past I have no problem believing this might be true 🤷🏼‍♀️

BarcardiWithGadaffia · 23/07/2024 07:16

user1984778379202 · 22/07/2024 21:41

So many OMG threads today have been started by an OP who has then disappeared. Funny how it always coincides with the start of the school holidays... 🙄

Why do you think that? Are you saying that teachers are bored already and are making up threads?