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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

CF Neigbour Using Hot Tub

425 replies

grandmabrown · 22/07/2024 17:10

Summer 2022 we suspect someone was using our garden while we were out as things began to move and on occasions the hot tub appeared used. We didn't think too much of it to be honest, with teenage children (who denied using it) things do often move and we were busy so didnt give it too much thought. Looking back now though that is when things started happening. Earlier in 2024 we went away and, upon return, a friend commented that she had popped round on her way past, nobody answered the door, she heard noises in the back garden and had come in through the side gate. There greeted by a family, using our hot tub and garden, who told her we had gone to X location and would be back on X date (both details correct), they were watching the house for us. When we got back we were baffled, asked around, nobody knew anything. We are part of a neighbourhood watch whatsapp group. We all keep an eye on each others cars and houses when away and update one another if we see anyone acting strange hanging round or any crime. We asked on this group and nobody had seen anything but one of the group members helped my husband to install security cameras and a ring doorbell and nothing has happened since.

Fast forward to now, my street-neighbour, lets call her Helen (as this is her name), and I have always been on a smile and wave basis. I only know her families names from the Christmas cards we send/receive. Recently Helen has been acting off towards me and I appear to be annoying her by existing. She will sigh if she sees me and I have caught her on more than one occasion glaring across at me and pointing at my house while talking. I have become sick of this and asked another neighbour, who I am friendly with, what was going on. Neutral neighbour seemed very awkward and said she didn't want to stir the pot or tell tales. Eventually she said Helen was annoyed at me as I had promised her use of my garden and hot tub for her sons birthday/end of term party but had revoked it and "caused a scene" about intruders, which she know was aimed at her, on the neighbourhood Whatsapp. Apparently the party was due to be when we are on holiday and I had said if she kept an eye on the house they could have full run of the garden but changed my mind, leaving her son with nowhere to host and all his friends thinking the party is going ahead. Helen said we have had this arrangement before and she does not understand why I am changing it now. This is not true. At all. I have never had a conversation with her, let alone offered to host a party for her. I checked with DH & DC and nobody has spoken to them or said they can use our property to host.

I have a million questions for her but don't know where to start. Obviously I now believe they were the family using our garden and it explains how she knew locations and return dates of our holidays. I do not know how to approach this or what to ask. Surely they will deny it. But the outright lie she has told our neighbour is harder to deny. What do I do? There is no way they are using my garden but now I am also worried that, when we go away, our garden may be used. The cameras will alert us on our phones and we can ring the police but I would really rather not cause a neighbour dispute and end up down that route. I am absolutely baffled by the audacity that someone would do this and then be mad about it, without ever even having a conversation with me.

OP posts:
DontBiteTheCat · 23/07/2024 16:52

BileBeansSara · 23/07/2024 07:33

In a case like this, calling the Police is appropriate. When on holiday and alerted, here is no way of knowing if the person in your back garden is going to drink lager in your hot tub or break into your house and no-one is going to sit on a beach sipping cocktails and watching to make that definition are they? Call the cops every time.

That’s not what was said though. It was suggested that the OP should tell the neighbour that they will be reporting her to the police for trespassing.

Which is pointless, because the act has already happened and trespassing isn’t a crime.

I doubt that the police would respond to a call where a crime (ie breaking in) wasn’t actually being committed but on the basis that it “might” happen, but I could be wrong.

Savemydrink · 24/07/2024 01:38

Oh my Lordy lord, that’s like sharing your bath water with complete strangers. They could have athletes foot, verrucas, ring worm, thrush or who knows what. I hope your spa is well dosed up with disinfectant.

This would seriously piss me off, arghhhhhh

Kitkatcatflap · 24/07/2024 03:03

Littlebitpsycho · 22/07/2024 17:30

I would do this. Doesn't directly call her out, but a) makes it clear you know she's been lying b) makes it absolutely clear that she has no permission to use your garden or anything in it and c) makes sure ALL the neighbours know that nobody should be using your garden or anything in it.

One stone kills many birds! What a CF!

Agree with the above. Makes the what's app group aware and is the least confrontational.

Delatron · 24/07/2024 08:20

And I don’t agree with all the suggestions like emptying the hot tub or putting dye in it. Why the hell should you? Just go and talk to her and find out what is going on. (And message the group WhatsApp).

NotSureWhatUsernameToChoose · 24/07/2024 10:02

Delatron · 24/07/2024 08:20

And I don’t agree with all the suggestions like emptying the hot tub or putting dye in it. Why the hell should you? Just go and talk to her and find out what is going on. (And message the group WhatsApp).

Err... sorry, WHAT???

TALK TO HER? Are you mad!! Have direct communication with a person rather than - writing on here about it, speaking to another neighbour, writing a PA message on Whatsapp, seething quietly, putting dye in the water and all of the other suggestions made?!

"Talk to her" - I have heard it all now

😉

Delatron · 24/07/2024 17:19

NotSureWhatUsernameToChoose · 24/07/2024 10:02

Err... sorry, WHAT???

TALK TO HER? Are you mad!! Have direct communication with a person rather than - writing on here about it, speaking to another neighbour, writing a PA message on Whatsapp, seething quietly, putting dye in the water and all of the other suggestions made?!

"Talk to her" - I have heard it all now

😉

😂. I know right? Groundbreaking.

It’s literally the first thing I would have done. So neighbour is glaring at me, other neighbour tells me the story. I’d have gone right over then and there to get things straight.

Deboragh · 24/07/2024 18:13

MumChp · 22/07/2024 17:20

Same story on FB this morning. They put (an invisible) dye in the water (harmless) and the neighbours were done.

Tbh just say no. Her party is not your problem. Make suse to cut the water to the spa then you go on holiday.

Exactly same story on Reddit last week, in fact Ive seen several identical stories crossed from there to here!! Makes me wonder about the reality of them.

CantFindMyMarbles · 24/07/2024 18:15

I’d put a message on the WhatsApp saying at no point have you given permission in the past and please could they call the police if they see anyone in the garden when you’re away as this is clearly criminal trespassing.

Priceslice · 24/07/2024 18:46

This seems like a near copy of a recent Reddit post 🤔

Stars2theside · 24/07/2024 19:35

I voted YABU because you said “I don’t want to cause a neighbour dispute” my friend, there is already a neighbour dispute, but you didn’t start it!! She did! I would literally go and make a big scene -loud enough to make the other neighbours listen and make it crystal clear to her that she is bang out of order! How dare she?! And then I’d follow it up with a neighbours WhatsApp chat message to outline what happened and that any further breaches on to your property will result in legal action.

GoldEagle · 24/07/2024 19:37

I think you are going to have to face her and ask where she got the idea from that her son's birthday celebrations could be held in your garden using your hot tub.

MoonWoman69 · 24/07/2024 19:54

@LookItsMeAgain has posted the best answer yet! This is definitely the one I'd be going with!

mathanxiety · 24/07/2024 20:52

Get on the WhatsApp and tell your side of the story, immediately.

Let the chips fall where they may.

Fwiw, your hot tub should always be locked when you're not using it. It is too much of a temptation to children.

VickyPollard25 · 24/07/2024 21:00

Who are the 3% who think you are being unreasonable?!

I can’t actually believe what I’m reading. You need to message the what’s app group all the details and say you have called the police to report the trespass.

usersuserse · 24/07/2024 21:46

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

pollymere · 24/07/2024 23:32

I read a great deal of the internet and this seems a common problem. It is a huge liability if someone gets injured or killed on your property. You do need to say something to nip this in the bud.

BlueFlowers5 · 25/07/2024 08:24

It could be seen as obtaining goods or services by deception.

evtheria · 25/07/2024 13:26

VickyPollard25 · 24/07/2024 21:00

Who are the 3% who think you are being unreasonable?!

I can’t actually believe what I’m reading. You need to message the what’s app group all the details and say you have called the police to report the trespass.

The 3% = CF Helen and her family 😂

MrsGrumpyKnickers · 25/07/2024 17:04

bouncybouncingboobies · 22/07/2024 17:22

I’d update on street what app with a jolly message that says- Hi All, I heard a really funny rumour the other day- apparently I ‘rent out’ or ‘let’ people use my garden and hot pool. Just to clarify, this is not, never has been or ever will be the case. It’s our garden, not Thorpe Park! LOL

FCF- Fucking Cheeky Fucker!

Definitely do this👆🏼

GasPanic · 25/07/2024 17:05

When can I book the hot tub ?

Will your neighbors be OK with Tuesday next week ?

Funnywonder · 25/07/2024 22:23

God, I hate threads where the OP doesn’t come back. Such a waste of everyone’s time.

ChockysChimichanga · 25/07/2024 22:25

One post from the OP to froth everyone up for a nice juicy CF thread. MNers fall for it.

Sceptical123 · 26/07/2024 08:26

GasPanic · 25/07/2024 17:05

When can I book the hot tub ?

Will your neighbors be OK with Tuesday next week ?

😂

Firefly27 · 26/07/2024 12:36

Please install a discreet camera .. she needs to be caught in the act 😅 and post it on the neighbourhood group. She is saying you had a conversation when you didn’t to cover her tracks . She is a psycho stay away from her and do not engage anymore . Tell her the friend saw their whole family and identified her by face !

Poddledoddle · 26/07/2024 13:37

Are you sure someone hasn't impersonated you or shes asked the wrong neighbour thinking it was you?