Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

CF Neigbour Using Hot Tub

425 replies

grandmabrown · 22/07/2024 17:10

Summer 2022 we suspect someone was using our garden while we were out as things began to move and on occasions the hot tub appeared used. We didn't think too much of it to be honest, with teenage children (who denied using it) things do often move and we were busy so didnt give it too much thought. Looking back now though that is when things started happening. Earlier in 2024 we went away and, upon return, a friend commented that she had popped round on her way past, nobody answered the door, she heard noises in the back garden and had come in through the side gate. There greeted by a family, using our hot tub and garden, who told her we had gone to X location and would be back on X date (both details correct), they were watching the house for us. When we got back we were baffled, asked around, nobody knew anything. We are part of a neighbourhood watch whatsapp group. We all keep an eye on each others cars and houses when away and update one another if we see anyone acting strange hanging round or any crime. We asked on this group and nobody had seen anything but one of the group members helped my husband to install security cameras and a ring doorbell and nothing has happened since.

Fast forward to now, my street-neighbour, lets call her Helen (as this is her name), and I have always been on a smile and wave basis. I only know her families names from the Christmas cards we send/receive. Recently Helen has been acting off towards me and I appear to be annoying her by existing. She will sigh if she sees me and I have caught her on more than one occasion glaring across at me and pointing at my house while talking. I have become sick of this and asked another neighbour, who I am friendly with, what was going on. Neutral neighbour seemed very awkward and said she didn't want to stir the pot or tell tales. Eventually she said Helen was annoyed at me as I had promised her use of my garden and hot tub for her sons birthday/end of term party but had revoked it and "caused a scene" about intruders, which she know was aimed at her, on the neighbourhood Whatsapp. Apparently the party was due to be when we are on holiday and I had said if she kept an eye on the house they could have full run of the garden but changed my mind, leaving her son with nowhere to host and all his friends thinking the party is going ahead. Helen said we have had this arrangement before and she does not understand why I am changing it now. This is not true. At all. I have never had a conversation with her, let alone offered to host a party for her. I checked with DH & DC and nobody has spoken to them or said they can use our property to host.

I have a million questions for her but don't know where to start. Obviously I now believe they were the family using our garden and it explains how she knew locations and return dates of our holidays. I do not know how to approach this or what to ask. Surely they will deny it. But the outright lie she has told our neighbour is harder to deny. What do I do? There is no way they are using my garden but now I am also worried that, when we go away, our garden may be used. The cameras will alert us on our phones and we can ring the police but I would really rather not cause a neighbour dispute and end up down that route. I am absolutely baffled by the audacity that someone would do this and then be mad about it, without ever even having a conversation with me.

OP posts:
Genevieva · 23/07/2024 07:24

IDontLikePinaColadas · 22/07/2024 23:31

They had the key in case of emergencies. I actually spoke to my DM about it this evening following this thread, and she thinks it was when the neighbour’s family were borrowing their house (this is in another country) and their family were letting their friends stay in my DM’s house. Even more batshit than I remembered it being!

Edited

We had something similar. Let a lady and her husband ‘house sit’ for us because they like the area we live in and have a few friends here. We don’t need a house sitter. She invited a large group of extended family, then complained that I should have paid her for all the laundry she did washing and drying our bed linen. The only reason she did it was to cover her tracks. Such bizarre behaviour.

Astonmaid · 23/07/2024 07:27

Nice story.

Bluebirdover · 23/07/2024 07:30

Has OP got stuck in the hot tub?

BileBeansSara · 23/07/2024 07:33

DontBiteTheCat · 22/07/2024 17:53

Trespassing isn’t a criminal matter, it’s a civil matter and the police will do nothing. I’m surprised at how many people aren’t aware of this

In a case like this, calling the Police is appropriate. When on holiday and alerted, here is no way of knowing if the person in your back garden is going to drink lager in your hot tub or break into your house and no-one is going to sit on a beach sipping cocktails and watching to make that definition are they? Call the cops every time.

ClairDeLaLune · 23/07/2024 07:34

bouncybouncingboobies · 22/07/2024 17:22

I’d update on street what app with a jolly message that says- Hi All, I heard a really funny rumour the other day- apparently I ‘rent out’ or ‘let’ people use my garden and hot pool. Just to clarify, this is not, never has been or ever will be the case. It’s our garden, not Thorpe Park! LOL

FCF- Fucking Cheeky Fucker!

Absolutely do this, it’s brilliant. Gets the message across in a lighthearted way and lets everyone that Helen has told these lies to know the truth.

Merryhobnobs · 23/07/2024 07:47

Since you have the street WhatsApp I would just say you heard a rumour that you had promised the use of the hot tub, however it isn't true, that you have never promised anyone, that you have someone who looks after the house when you are away and for insurance and health and safety reasons it absolutely won't be allowed in the future regardless. It's so cheeky and the person is the one causing the bother, bad feeling and lies so stay calm, make it clear.

ns87 · 23/07/2024 07:52

bouncybouncingboobies · 22/07/2024 17:22

I’d update on street what app with a jolly message that says- Hi All, I heard a really funny rumour the other day- apparently I ‘rent out’ or ‘let’ people use my garden and hot pool. Just to clarify, this is not, never has been or ever will be the case. It’s our garden, not Thorpe Park! LOL

FCF- Fucking Cheeky Fucker!

This is perfect!

Sceptical123 · 23/07/2024 07:57

IDontLikePinaColadas · 22/07/2024 17:33

My DM had something similar and discovered her neighbours were letting their family actually stay in her house whilst she and my DSF were away - they would try to put everything back exactly as it was but small things were out of place and she knew when she found a random toothbrush in the bathroom!

Unsurprisingly they denied all knowledge, even though she had proof, but it never happened again - all awkwardness seems to have died down now, but it did take a while.

God almighty!

I wish she’d told the neighbour - “you do know we have security cameras installed now?” and watched them crumble to the floor

edited for typo

Mumof2heroes · 23/07/2024 08:00

What the actual fuck! There is a very small part of me that's actually quite envious...oh to have that kind of confidence! Seriously though OP call them out in the group chat...gets it all out in the open and sends a very strong message.

Horsedatives · 23/07/2024 08:06

This OP hasn't replied and almost this exact problem has cropped up a few times on mn. It can't be that common, I hate these threads.

Sceptical123 · 23/07/2024 08:17

TheFifthTellytubby · 22/07/2024 17:55

How did CF know the OP's holiday dates?

"We are part of a neighbourhood watch whatsapp group. We all keep an eye on each others cars and houses when away and update one another if we see anyone acting strange hanging round or any crime."

👍🏻

Mintypig · 23/07/2024 08:20

Tell her frankly if she does this again you’ll use footage from your camera to call police and press charges for Tresspass. What a cf.
she is a liar and a thief. Call his woman out.

IDontLikePinaColadas · 23/07/2024 08:24

Sceptical123 · 23/07/2024 07:57

God almighty!

I wish she’d told the neighbour - “you do know we have security cameras installed now?” and watched them crumble to the floor

edited for typo

Edited

After speaking to my DM about this yesterday, following this thread, she thinks the neighbour lent their house to their family when they came back to the UK, who then let their friends/family stay in my DM’s house - which actually makes the whole thing even worse!

jeaux90 · 23/07/2024 08:28

Mexican house thief's sister Grin.

I'd definitely use the WhatsApp group for a blanket message.

Tahlbias · 23/07/2024 08:45

I'm lost for words!!!

MaggieFS · 23/07/2024 08:47

I actually wouldn't put anything on the WhatsApp group right now as it might make neutral neighbours feel awkward. What I would do is:

  1. Tell 1:1 anyone you know well that you're aware of this being said and it's bs
  2. Go and talk to Helen to understand where this "misunderstanding" has arisen from. Put her on the spot and see how she justifies it
  3. Just before going away next time, if you'd normally share dates on there, say something like " we're away until xx. We've had problems in the past with people using our garden whilst we are away. No one has any permission nor reason to be in our garden, if you see or hear anything, please let us know". The timing with it being just before you're away gives purpose.
travellinglighter · 23/07/2024 08:47

WhatsApp group.

Dear Neighbours. As you all know we have had issues with someone using our garden while we were on holiday. We have never agreed to anyone using our garden and if you are told anything different then that person has issues with the truth. We will install additional cameras and any repeat will result in a call to the police. If anyone wants to glare at me or sigh when I walk past, fill your boots.

Projectme · 23/07/2024 08:48

Definitely related to the Mexican House Thief. Any updates OP?

NotSureWhatUsernameToChoose · 23/07/2024 09:05

To all those thinking this is a troll - this from MN

Thanks for reporting this thread. We've had a look behind the scenes and can see that the OP's been on the site for many years, with nothing in her posting history that's given us cause for concern in the past, and no links to any previously banned accounts.

We're therefore assuming this thread's genuine, as far as we can ever really tell, but we'll keep it on our radar for now.

Bit of a shocker, but it seems it is genuine!

ExpressCheckout · 23/07/2024 09:43

Scissorsisters · 22/07/2024 17:15

Lock your garden gate, unplug and drain the hot tub when you go away and don't give it another thought.
Your neighbour is a CF.

^ This, end of. Helen sounds bonkers.

Anonym00se · 23/07/2024 09:48

Horsedatives · 23/07/2024 08:06

This OP hasn't replied and almost this exact problem has cropped up a few times on mn. It can't be that common, I hate these threads.

There’s a theme where a poster writes a very long OP about something wildly outrageous to whip people up into a frenzy, and never returns. In the meantime the thread ends up with thousands of replies from shocked people. OP is probably sitting back with the popcorn enjoying the responses.

WearyAuldWumman · 23/07/2024 12:14

NotSureWhatUsernameToChoose · 23/07/2024 09:05

To all those thinking this is a troll - this from MN

Thanks for reporting this thread. We've had a look behind the scenes and can see that the OP's been on the site for many years, with nothing in her posting history that's given us cause for concern in the past, and no links to any previously banned accounts.

We're therefore assuming this thread's genuine, as far as we can ever really tell, but we'll keep it on our radar for now.

Bit of a shocker, but it seems it is genuine!

Given the experiences I’ve had, I believe her. There are people in this world who are very happy to take liberties.

WearyAuldWumman · 23/07/2024 12:21

The same neighbour who used our patio and garden for a party also took to dumping their rubbish in our garden. As you can imagine, it made it difficult to keep on top of things.

It stopped when she dumped an empty package with her name and address on it. I returned it to her front step with the rest of her rubbish and let the other neighbours know that I’d had to return a package from a firm called Exotic Nights to her doorstep. (I’d tried speaking to her previously.)

Fuzziduck · 23/07/2024 12:32

Either raise it with her on the public WhatsApp group, or ask her with a third party there.

SweetCreamandCaramel · 23/07/2024 15:45

WearyAuldWumman · 23/07/2024 12:14

Given the experiences I’ve had, I believe her. There are people in this world who are very happy to take liberties.

I believe op too, we have some CF neighbours ourselves! Nothing surprises me now, it takes all sorts! You give people an inch, and they take a mile.