in trouble with DIL again

[itainthalfhot]

my DIL posts on insta and facebook multiple times a day, always about the baby, baby has been to this class or that event, always happy smily pictures, but they do get annoying after a while.

anyway, i've muted her.. we also have a family chat, and i use this to catch up with things on a regular basis.

i received a message last night asking why i hadn't commented on her post about the fact that baby had chickenpox and that didn't i care about him? i mentioned that i 'must have missed it'...

we'd had a chat on our whats app group earlier that day, and there was no mention of chickenpox there?

so i've had to go to inta, trawl through her many posts and comment! its ridiculous. it seems i can never do right for doing wrong!

AIBU by not commenting on the post?
YANBU she should have simply told me when we chatted earlier in the day?

No, she found the multiple notifications a day, annoying. So muted them.

Just tell her your winding down on SM if it important to text you

Yes, of her grandchild

Posts of her grandchild are annoying.

according to this grandma.

I doubt it's the photographs but the 'it's so hard being a mum' comments that are the issue.

I think you've made the mistake of scrolling through her posts to put a comment up because she had a strop, she's going to expect it on every post now. You should have just told her you don't spend your life on social media and will comment on whatever you see fit to.

DIL sounds 100% totally self-centered and in love with herself!

I doubt if OP is finding the pictures annoying, it will be the helping of attention seeking glued to the side of each one.

I'd definitely say that's you're not always on socials so please use the group to keep you up to date with news but agree DS is the person you should be taking this up with

Yeah, she sounds like someone looking for a reason to argue. Even if she thought you'd surely have seen her super-important post on SM, why the dramatic calling-out over your lack of comment? It's strange, antagonistic behaviour.

You'll probably never win with someone like that, but I'd tell her you don't always check SM on a regular basis, so if there's something she wants you to see, she should message you privately or share a link to the post. Good luck! 😅

I'd just say (truthfully) that I don't go on Instagram very often and she can tell me things like that by using her words when we actually speak. And that I hope he feels better soon.

This!

How strange! I love seeing pictures of my grandkids 🤷‍♀️ or writing sarcastic comments when they are ill.

I wouldn't mute DIL or find posts about gc annoying. I mean, how hard is it to ignore or scroll past or quickly 'like' something you're not particularly interested in?

I mute annoying colleagues and friends-of-friends but not close family. Maybe she is picking up on your disinterest.

'I am sorry to hear about the chicken pox, and I hope he is recovering well. I a not on social media every day or often, do text or call if something important comes up or ask xx to contact me. We always want to know if any of you are ill. Do you need shopping delivered?'

CAme on to post similar. You can't do right for doing wrong...so just say you aren't doing it anymore.

She should have told you on the other channel, but you're the only grandparent I've known of who would mute seeing pictures of their grandchild and then send a pass agg sarcastic message regarding them having chicken pox, so while DIL might be a social media bore, I'm not really surprised that she doesn't warm to you.

meh. Why should OP come off instagram?

I'd just unfollow DIL and ask son to keep me up to date with stuff.

DIL here. I do not expect my MIL to keep herself up-to-date with my family goings-on by following me on Insta. We tell her what’s going on. Your DIL sounds very self-absorbed to think that everyone is monitoring her social media for the latest updates on her child.

After considering this issue carefully I chose not to vaccinate DC. And I'm very pro-vax.

The chickenpox vaccine isn't like the measles one which provides lifelong immunity. Its protection is finite. And, as a rule, the older you are when you get it the nastier it can be. I escaped many outbreaks at school and when I finally caught it in my teens I was really unwell.

If you vaccine, basically you're postponing a disease that can feel worse the older you are when you get it. DC had it mildly when in nursery, meaning that if there is a recurrence of it in later life it's likely to be a lot milder than otherwise.

Most of the older members of my family aren't on social media. I'm in my 40s and only look infrequently. I wouldn't assume they are uninterested (not "disinterested", which means "unbiased") just because they don't engage on social media.

I just tell everyone I have a dodgy internet link.

Freedom = when tiresome people cannot reach you.

She doesn’t find her dgc annoying, she finds the constant pictures and expectations that Op will read every social media post annoying.

OMFG

An interactive photo frame!!!!

Who knew?

I need this!!

Your comment re pulling through wasn’t sarcastic. It was ugly. Just down right awful. You should be ashamed of yourself.

I had chickenpox and was hospitalised with sepsis when I was seven years old- took me months to fully recover. Was so glad my two got it mildly and when they were small.

Gosh, I hope I don't end up with a DUIL like yours. I never go on IG. Only use Whatsapp to sell stuff, and catch up with my family on the phone.

Any one expecting me to hover over my phone when not in work is going to be sadly disappointed.

YANBU