in trouble with DIL again

[itainthalfhot]

my DIL posts on insta and facebook multiple times a day, always about the baby, baby has been to this class or that event, always happy smily pictures, but they do get annoying after a while.

anyway, i've muted her.. we also have a family chat, and i use this to catch up with things on a regular basis.

i received a message last night asking why i hadn't commented on her post about the fact that baby had chickenpox and that didn't i care about him? i mentioned that i 'must have missed it'...

we'd had a chat on our whats app group earlier that day, and there was no mention of chickenpox there?

so i've had to go to inta, trawl through her many posts and comment! its ridiculous. it seems i can never do right for doing wrong!

AIBU by not commenting on the post?
YANBU she should have simply told me when we chatted earlier in the day?

I cannot imagine a time in this universe where I would moan to my MIL about her not acknowledging this. If I/DH didn’t tell her directly then it wasn’t important enough for us to make sure she knew so why would we expect a response?

Also to add, I think I'd be inclined to nip this BS in the bud.

As pp suggested, just say I don't really follow social media tbh best to put it into the group chat then I'll get it.

Is she normally like this?

U missed the one about chickenpox tho 🤷🏻‍♀️

If you are on social media often enough to be annoyed by her constant stream of photos, then you are on it too much. Most people have a quick scroll over a cup of tea before work, maybe at lunch time, and then again in the evening. Certainly not enough to warrant being annoyed by one particular person. Perhaps you've got your setting wrong, and have notifications coming through on your phone everything she shares or even likes something (like my mum does with me).

Jesus, that would drive me insane.

Thankfully, only one DIL posts on Instagram and that’s related to her flower business so I rarely look or comment on it. It’s nothing to do with me or our relationship. I’m not a potential customer. She doesn’t need my ‘likes’ to bolster her business.

In your shoes, I’d come off Instagram and ask her to keep you updated via the family WhatsApp or whatever you use.

Is the child not vaccinated?

I’m not on instagram but our daughter WhatsApp’s several photos most days.
I don’t understand how a grandparent could ever feel “annoyed” by photos of their grandchildren.

Why didn’t your son tell you?

jesus wat is everyones obsession with sm

oh i posted so and so didnt you see

no i was having a life

This is the problem with people who live solely on social media. They lose contact with the real world.

Chickenpox vaccines are rare in the UK.

What a strange situation.

Parents who only communicate via social media sites and a grandparent who has muted posts about their grandchild.

I find both of these actions quite unusual.

I have no idea and no idea why you are asking me.

Whilst it’s very normal in parts of the UK to privately vaccinate your child, for some people it’s either not affordable or not an expense that is prioritised.

Tell her u go on SM at
Night only when ur winding down. Everyone knows a someone who puts their entire kids lives on view every single day, and it's soooo
Boring. I put pics on occasionally, as in maybe once every 1-2 months, anything more, ur getting unfollowed lol

No they aren’t. They are very normal to be done privately in many places. Some parents don’t want to pay for it though.

She sounds ridiculous and I'm not surprised you've muted her.

I would bat this straight back to her asking why she didn't give you a call to let you know that the baby has chickenpox.

I guess it's only her that is busy, only her that has things to do. No. No way would I put up with that. You are family, not part of an entourage and you don't have to tolerate rude and dismissive messages.

Perhaps she relies on SM as an outlet? You said she posts a lot about how hard she's finding being a parent, maybe she doesn't feel very supported by your son, you or other people in her family?

I also am not mad on SM so I would just tell her you don't use it much and that she's free to message you directly instead.

It’s insanity like this that led me to come off SM entirely.

Tell her you are detoxing from insta, so if she or your son need you to know about something, she needs to use the family group chat or contact you directly.

Manage her batshit expectations

@CBM40 I missed the POST about chickenpox...

The photo frame is photos? Not all her posts have photos... not all her photos have comments?

Yes she's perfomative parenting and being sooooo ridiculous. And it's not worth arguing over either. It's reasonable to say

"Sorry, I've missed it because I don't use my socials much. If you've got something important to tell me, send a message or give me a call and I'll be right on it."

Tell her you are on a digital detox and off social media for a while !

I’m not sure this is the point 🙄

Plus if you’re trying to get a dig in, no vaccine offers 100% protection plus lots of kids (especially those who associate with older kids) get chickenpox before they turn 1 which I think is when you can first get the vaccine.

Hey son hasn't criticised her for not asking how the child is, though.

She's not blaming DIL for not telling her, she's blaming her for criticising her for not responding to an Instagram post.

People who have to play their whole lives out on SM for attention are so tiresome.

Agree that you should speak to your son and let him know important information shouldn't be coming through Facebook as you don't interact with it often.

we dont vaccinate against chickenpox in the UK

Omg this would annoy me. I don't post much about my kids on social media and find it very boring when people post countless times daily photos etc about there's. I also think it's quite sad that a child's whole life is online before they can even consent to this. I know somebody who is lovely but posts countless photos daily of there kids. You can tell there School, interests, hobbies and daily routine by the sheer amount of information online about them.