in trouble with DIL again

[itainthalfhot]

my DIL posts on insta and facebook multiple times a day, always about the baby, baby has been to this class or that event, always happy smily pictures, but they do get annoying after a while.

anyway, i've muted her.. we also have a family chat, and i use this to catch up with things on a regular basis.

i received a message last night asking why i hadn't commented on her post about the fact that baby had chickenpox and that didn't i care about him? i mentioned that i 'must have missed it'...

we'd had a chat on our whats app group earlier that day, and there was no mention of chickenpox there?

so i've had to go to inta, trawl through her many posts and comment! its ridiculous. it seems i can never do right for doing wrong!

AIBU by not commenting on the post?
YANBU she should have simply told me when we chatted earlier in the day?

The fact u have said in ur headline in trouble AGAIN makes me think she's just a hard to please mum who thinks the world revolves around her and her kids
Lives. There's nothing so turn off ish than a person who posts everything every day in their lives eg 0700 their first coffee of the day. 1000, their steps are already at 10,000, 1200 their amazing healthy lunch bla bla bla. I can't be doing with that boring crap.
I would be saying to her the kid is sick, you would've expected someone to at least message privately or on the family group chat to let you know. She is being a dick.

Can we trade in laws please? my MIL is the same as your DIL and it's exhausting (and never ending because every she has to reply to every single post and story of mine with a lot of questions).

Again, she's not blaming DIL for not telling her! She's blaming her for criticising her for not responding to an Instagram post!

Lordy. I don't get any insta notifications, and I check it once a week or so. So yes, I'll probably miss stuff my DD puts on there about my grandkids. But she sends me lots of photos by WhatsApp and tells me anything important.

Instagram is not a family communication tool.

I do think they could have told you personally but I can’t believe you have blocked posts with your grandchild on. If you were my MIL I’d be upset that you have called happy smily posts of your GC annoying.

I hate seeing pictures of sick kids on Facebook. It's attention seeking.

Same.

Lots of photos of kids ARE boring.....but generally not to the parents and grandparents.

They are generally the only ones who care.

Found it quite jarring to read that OP feels that way about her grandson.

She hasn't blocked her. She's just muted notifications.

I never activated notifications on Instagram on the first place. My phone would be pinging the whole damn time if I did.

Wow, can’t believe you’re speaking about your grandchild like this. What a horror you are, you don’t deserve him/her

I would if they were simply littering t'internet and I was expected to be permanently welded to a device, wading through looking for them and responding in an Olympic time!

Blocked/muted whatever. My issue is that this monster in law deems her grandchild annoying. If I got wind that my mother in law had said this it would be no contact. Very unpleasant person she seems

They do get annoying if their cluttering up your feed and your not seeing much from anyone else's. Facebook know who you have family connections with. So you will see more of what they post. Compared with someone you know through a mutual friend. She sounds a bit attention seeking moaning she hasn't commented on a chicken pox post.😂😂😂I can see her point.

Tell her you are not on Insta all the time. Ffs, not everyone is!

You said she’s posting how hard it is, is she actually getting any support?

Why does she need 'support' to look after a baby. it's not rocket science!

Communication can't be through social media the posts don't always come up depending on your algorithm - regardless of mutton someone.

Explain to DIL that as much as you care for your grandchild and family - you can't be trawling SM for information daily. Communication needs to be direct a family WhatsApp or direct message or pick up the telephone.

I think I know your DIL 😂

It all seems ridiculous. Don't feed into it though. Why say 'I must have missed it'? Instead of saying you've muted the thread and will catch up with family news via the WhatsApp chat or DM?

Why did you then trawl through instagram to comment? There was no need as you messaged her directly.

What? Everyone needs support of some sort to look after a child! We all need breaks and to fill our own cups! It would be downright draining and miserable otherwise.

Blocked/muted whatever. My issue is that this monster in law deems her grandchild annoying. If I got wind that my mother in law had said this it would be no contact. Very unpleasant person she seems

nowhere did the MIL state the grandchild was annoying

the posts on SM by the DIL multiply times a day were annoying, that is what she wrote

How tiresome and utterly unhealthy for her to be living her life based on social media validation. I would've said something like "Oh, you really must send me a message about important things like that, or mention it when we speak. I'm trying not to spend so much time on social media these days, it's l all a bit overwhelming".

She's clearly been reading the 'it takes a village' thread and thinks you should be round there doing everything for her.

No she hasn’t said that the grandchild is annoying! She’s said that the 11 posts a morning from the DIL about mundanities are annoying.

You do understand that she’s just muted notifications- i.e she doesn’t get something to her phone every 5 minutes “DIL has added a new post- view now” or similar. She still sees the post when she logs on later and apparently through some 1984 style frame she has.

Your attitude sounds like the problem with social media though- if you don’t want to be bothered/ drawn back to your phone every time they watch bluey or clap their hands, you don’t love them. What utter bollocks!

they do get annoying after a while.....didn't i care about him?

Is she getting a vibe from you that you are a bit irritated/judgy of her/ the baby?

Her baby, her roooolz.

Your job as granny is to fawn and dote.

Ehhh, usually I'd agree. But it's the chicken pox.

Her son probably thought it'd be a lot of fuss about nothing. Most kids contract chicken pox and again for most of those kids, they're absolutely fine. Why does all and sundry need to know a child has caught a common childhood illness?

It's just attention seeking on DILs part.

This. YABU

For goodness sake, she doesn't find her grandchild annoying. You've spun that right out of context. She probably doesn't find the photos annoying either. I imagine that it's DILs commentary to them all on Insta that's feels over the top.

You find posts and pictures of your grandchild annoying? Wow. And people why wonder mothers in law get a bad rep on here 🙄