1 child families + holidays + I don’t want to watch your kids

[Theseers]

It’s a running joke in our family that we attract the 1 child family every holiday we go on. I have 4 teens/children and I’m single so one adult. Without exception over the last 10 years every summer/beach holiday we’ve been on a lone child has somehow attached themself to us.

Im not a cold hearted bitch, I had 4 kids so I wouldn’t have to entertain them all the time and I get that there are a number of reasons someone may only have 1 child. But that doesn’t mean I want to look after them on my holiday.

We managed to get to day 4 this year before it happened, a boy of around 7/8 edged his way over encouraged my mum. My lot were playing a ball game in the pool and involved him after he gestured for the ball. Fine, but don’t then roll over on your sun bed and start reading your book ffs. He was then attached to my kids all afternoon, the next day we went to the pool in the AM for a morning swim and the beach for the PM, family appears next to us on the HUGE beach and plonks themselves down 20meters away, immediately the kid comes over and involves himself.

Ive lost count of the amount of holidays we’ve ended up having a tag along whose parents seem to be having a lovely relaxing holiday. I have returned children to the parents a few times, but they either just come back or stand there staring at my kids it’s bloody horrible.

My three kids making close friends with other kids is my favourite bit about camping/resort holidays. I remember it fondly from my own childhood. And if you're supervising 3-4 kids, supervising 5-6 is no great shakes especially in a non pool environment.

I am also finding the stereotypes about 1 kid/4 kid families super weird. It has literally never occured to me to think that families behave this way or that depending on how many kids they have.

People really are determined to find something to moan about!

I grew up.in the 90s and 2000s and i don't know a single.parent who had issues with this. Even my own parents. My mother never complained when/if this happened..she was motherly and didn't matter whose child it was. I am 1 of 3.
I dont know parents these days have to complain about something. 1st world problems. Maybe head over to a 3rd world country or war torn country and get some perspective.

Thank you for this response and going against the grain.

For some families with only one child it can be extremely painful watching your only one look on from a far whilst larger families play together. I speak from experience as someone who has just spent the last week in this very position.

But for everyone else, yeah, us single child families are just lazy sun worshippers looking to off load their responsibilities onto those who have been blessed with more than one child so please do carry on eye rolling at us for being such a drain on your holiday.

You had 4 kids so you don’t have to entertain them all of the time.

I know it's not always a choice and, even if it is, that's fine, a decision for each parent to make.

Children (from all size families) have to learn that families are all made up differently. I'm not saying I wouldn't welcome your child to play. In most instances I would. I think it's great for kids to make friends and mix with others. But if it doesn't work for me at that moment, your child's disappointment at not having siblings isn't my responsibility to compensate for.

OP you sound very judgemental about single child families, it's sad.

You’re not really watching him though if his mother is a few feet away….
if she’s reading a book she can still hear and assist him if needed.
I can see both sides though as I was one of 4children and I used to go off and make friends because my elder siblings were 11 months apart and close, and too old to play with me, and my younger sibling was 6 years younger than me and too young for me to play with. But my parents always watched me. I would just play with whatever family was near us that day, probably never the same one twice! Or if we were playing rounders (being a big family we used to do that) or some other game we’d regularly have kids come and join us.
On the other side I only have 1 child, when she was really little she’d make friends everywhere we went, then as she aged she really didn’t want other kids joining us when we were playing … would get annoyed if I threw the ball to a random kid stood watching us or asking if they could join in…

I think single children can’t do right…. They’re either accused of being needy (like here) or not being social… they can’t win

I think single children can’t do right…. They’re either accused of being needy (like here) or not being social… they can’t win

God, this is so true. Our kids are either weird and needy/lonely or weird and antisocial/too reliant on adult company. Pick one stereotype!

Or thoroughly spoilt and entitled.

Thinking they can be friendly with other children indeed!

Nobody wants to do anything these days
You don't want your kids to make friends and deal with potential difficulties
And that mum doesn't want to parent her child 😂
What a boring world
Life is messy
My daughter was an only child and I was the mum looking after so many kids in my backgarden because my daughter liked it
It was hard
But life is hard regardless
When I was tired
I simply told them to go home

Just don't look after them or watch them. Concentrate on your own kids and let their parents watch them.

If all the kids are happy then what's the issue.

If your 17 year old doesn't want to throw another child in the pool then he just needs to say so and that's the end of that.

My kids have played with others on holiday before and others with mine but it's never once been an issue.

Its nice for kids to make friends on holiday, I always did when I was a kid and there were 4 of us.

I agree completely. I have 4 of my own (who play together quite well on holiday). I don't need another one hanging around.

I have two and have never really thought about it - both of mine are pretty sociable and tend to make friends on holiday. I am an only child myself (I hated it) which I think has made me more sociable as I always liked to make friends on holiday - I would hope we have enough self realisation to notice if we were outstaying our welcome!

I don't have a problem with other people's kids joining in with mine. Only thing I have a problem with is if the parents bugger off or fall asleep and I don't want to in effect do free childcare. I can't ignore that child, it's just not in me.

So they sat near you on the beach and were near enough to keep an eye on their child who then had the audacity to play with your children! You aren't better than someone because you've had more children 🤣 which is the vibe this is giving off

You aren't watching them-you decided to assume that responsibility, when it wasn't sought. Kids will play together!

A bad parent is a bad parent, whether they have one or more children, and you have every right to be cross if you feel they’ve surrendered the care of their child(ren) to you, but then you should address it with them, the adult(s).

To be sour about children looking for friends on holiday is nasty though. Have a chat with yourself.

The mother was still there but reading.

Presumably if someone shouted because there was a problem then she'd be there to deal with it.

Mine were/are always very sociable and I'm glad about that.

My dc although a big age difference, just enjoy each other's company. One is a toddler and my older one plays with her so well. It's really annoying when another child joins in, as my older doesn't really like it.
This past weekend we were at the park and all four of us (dh)were enjoying a few games, and a child ran up to us and asked to join in. They probably saw dh playing too, as their parents who were sitting near by were glued to their phones. I felt sorry for the child but then she got really annoying and started blocking my toddlers way and pushing, so I said you need to go back now because we are done. I think the parents called heard because the mum looked over and called her. We got up and moved a little bit away and saw us started playing again but she didn't come over.
My dc would never go ask to join in anywhere so I don't expect others to do that, and I'm very happy to tell them that.

I think the issue is that some parents will use it to their advantage and use it as an excuse to crash out on their sunbeds or clear off to the bar. What would parents reaction be if something happened to that child whilst playing with your child, or if they got injured? Or the child accused you or your children of something that didn't happen? I was always very wary of other children being with us without a parent nearby.

It’s really a mystery why social anxiety is growing among young people…

And that's all fair enough, but none of it has anything to do with only children.

Crap parents are crap parents regardless of the family structure.

But that's not a problem applying a bit of common sense surely?

If you're at a playground/swimming-pool/beach and you come across an unaccompanied child who looks like they might be at risk, standard procedure is to try to locate their parents. If they can't be found, you inform reception/the management where relevant and call the police.

We have an only child by choice she's 10 and we absolutely love spending time with her. She often makes friends on holiday, in beer gardens, at play areas etc ... Often who end up sitting with us.
I have no issue if she is happy and they and their parents are. I don't see why it is such a big deal however if you are that bothered just speak to them and their parents and let them know that you don't want their child near you or your children as it is upsetting/inconveniencing you and be done with it.

We're on holiday at the mo and another kid has just started calling me mom 😳

I was playing pool with my son last night and she butted in and asked if she could play.

I gave my daughter money to change for the pool table. This girl took it and spent it.

She's been patting my husband on the head and grabbing his legs.

She has 0 boundaries and we're just hoping dd falls out with her ASAP 😂😂