1 child families + holidays + I don’t want to watch your kids

[Theseers]

It’s a running joke in our family that we attract the 1 child family every holiday we go on. I have 4 teens/children and I’m single so one adult. Without exception over the last 10 years every summer/beach holiday we’ve been on a lone child has somehow attached themself to us.

Im not a cold hearted bitch, I had 4 kids so I wouldn’t have to entertain them all the time and I get that there are a number of reasons someone may only have 1 child. But that doesn’t mean I want to look after them on my holiday.

We managed to get to day 4 this year before it happened, a boy of around 7/8 edged his way over encouraged my mum. My lot were playing a ball game in the pool and involved him after he gestured for the ball. Fine, but don’t then roll over on your sun bed and start reading your book ffs. He was then attached to my kids all afternoon, the next day we went to the pool in the AM for a morning swim and the beach for the PM, family appears next to us on the HUGE beach and plonks themselves down 20meters away, immediately the kid comes over and involves himself.

Ive lost count of the amount of holidays we’ve ended up having a tag along whose parents seem to be having a lovely relaxing holiday. I have returned children to the parents a few times, but they either just come back or stand there staring at my kids it’s bloody horrible.

I don’t think it’s the size of the family the child comes from that determines this behaviour, it’s poor parenting. As someone further up thread said, would you be happy to let your child wander off into a pool with people you don’t know, turn over on your sunbed, and have a nap?
I don’t know anyone who would.

But my DB encountered this on holiday with DN, and when they were ready to get out of the pool, what do you do? Leave the 3 or 4 year old on their own in the pool? Obviously that child is not your responsibility, but as a human being, it’s hard to walk away and leave them in the water. But DB didn’t even know which of the adults napping / reading by the pool said child belonged to. In the end he found a lifeguard and said “just letting you know, there’s an unsupervised child on their own there” but he should never have even been put in that position.

Some people’s piss poor parenting beggars belief.

That’s not an only child thing. That’s an attitude that some parents take regardless of how many kids they have.
The people I know who are the worst for stuff like this have five kids.

Shouldn't have been put in what position?

Having to walk 10 metres and say 1 sentence to the lifeguard?

Hardly a holiday ruiner is it?

Goodness me some of you are really precious

There are some dreadful adults out there and unfortunately some of them have kids. They don't particularly annoy me, I just feel sorry for the kids.

But I wouldn't put a nearby parent supervising from a sunbed or park bench into that category. If they're ready to intervene if necessary, there's no need for them to actively entertain their children. Kids will find entertainment if left to it. And yes, that might be other children/adults, especially if the adults are putting on a show, but you can always tell them to buzz off and find something else to do. When did we become so precious around kids?

Shouldn't have been left responsible for another person's child. It's fairly obvious. 🫣

Of course you shouldn't be left in that position.

I was out with a friend when we found a toddler playing in an isolated area next to a lake. Very far away from the playground and other people, so had clearly toddled there all by themselves. They could have drowned or wandered onto the road in that time.

We picked up the child and, not being able to find anyone responsible, called the police. The person we spoke to told us they could be there in about three hours and expected us to stay with the child. How unfair is that? I told them I had to pick up my own child from preschool in an hour, so couldn't wait, but with their permission I could put the child in my car seat in my car and drop them at the police station on my way to get my own child. You can't abandon a child when it would place them in such danger. At that point I was trying to think about what I could actually do because I couldn't abandon my own child and I couldn't hang around. I was at the point where I wondered if I might have to go and abandon the child involuntarily on the cafe staff (also not fair but I was feeling a bit desperate at this point and was thinking of my child). Luckily, at that moment, some poor excuse for a parent came and claimed their child.

They're out there!

But he wasn't "left" responsible? For all he knows the parent wasn't even there. He could have immediately taken the kid to the lifeguard.

Yes of course it's horrific parenting to leave your kid unattended at a pool. I just don't think it's the tragedy that some poster are making it out to be to find a responsible adult for them.

Another adult having to take a child to a lifeguard is that adult having to be responsible though. Also, life guards are not child minders or missing child services.

Unfortunately we all have to be responsible for lost and abandoned children. It's just part of living in society. The only thing we can hope is that the police/lifeguard/social services intervene and give the parents enough of a roasting to stop their behaviour before the children come to harm.

Agree

i assume it was clear to the op that the parent wasn’t watching. If you aren’t watching you aren’t supervising when it’s a pool.

Agree. Mine were prob 8 and 12 and I remember the girl was around 12. Mine included her at pool but I do find some parents have 0 boundaries. She have come to apartment for food too lol. Mothers head stuck in her book.

I feel like this is deliberately targeting only child families.. It's not how many kids they have it's the irresponsible parents who don't want to look after their own dc.
Regardless I have an only child and we always make sure take turns playing/relaxing with ds on holiday so one parent gets a break. We do child oriented things like going to the beach where they can entertain themselves a bit making sandcastles etc. Luckily he'd rather play with people he knows than join in a random group.

I don't think it's a big deal if a child joins in another group activity for half an hour but I would expect their own family to be watching them and also if I wanted to leave I would just go and not allow them to tag along. You can kind of get a feeling if people are happy to accommodate or uncomfortable.
You have every right to be annoyed but don't lump us all in the same group..

I have one child and this happens, they make friends and I watch them both (sometimes more than one). I'm delighted when she makes friends though I appreciate it's a bit different having 4 to start with - but your only option other than venting is to either accept it or address the parents with it.

Its totally normal for kids to make friends on holiday. It not normal for a family to be so insular that the mum does not want her kids interacting with kids. I i 5 kids and loved them making friends on holiday, you actually sound horrendous and dont actually want to look after your own kids hence having 4 so they could look after each other

You expect the parent to WATCH their child from their sunbed, not roll over and read a book.

I had this on a camp site. Set up a cricket match and we were all playing and more kids started joining. That's OK but their parents pulled their chairs up to watch while I was running round to keep the game going. How rude!

We have only one child and have found that many larger families liked to leave their children to play with ours, probably thinking we had more time since we only have the one. It works both ways.

This is happening to us more and more as my children get older. I'm a single parent with 2 children who play together really well. My eldest in particular seems to attract children who are perhaps a bit younger and aren't sure what to play. As such a lot of children come over and want to join in with a game, particularly single children who are with a large group of adults, because presumably the adults just want to have a grown up conversation and the child gets bored.

I don't mind at all as long as the child is polite and doesn't try to take over the game. My two no doubt get sick of each other all day every day during the holidays and having another playmate helps mix things up a bit.

What DOES annoy me though is when the child is considerably younger than my own and their parents are nowhere to be seen. My two are 9 and 6, if I wanted to look after a toddler too, I'd have had a third child. It's not up to me to look after a 2 year old because you're tired from parenting them all day. I've done that part already! It reminds me of the first time I took ds1 to a party without ds2, who was a baby at the time - it felt absolutely blissful finally having some time with just ds1 - only to be given a baby to hold as soon as we arrived because "you've just got one with you today".

I feel so sad about this! As an only child growing up in a rural location, holidays were an exciting opportunity for me to make a new friend. I’d have been devastated if I’d have known that other families felt like this.

I love seeing my children make friends on holiday, the more the merrier as long as they are nice!

I was always that child on holiday absolutely desperate to make friends. I was one of 3 children all close together in age. My brothers had zero interest in making friends, maybe they had one another or just more shy by nature, both are true. I was extrovert and made it my mission to make a friend each holiday. My mum and dad were lazy. So maybe lazy parents breed attention seeking children. I sure as hell wasn't going to get stimulation hanging around mum half drunk on her subbed or my mute Dad, oh and they hated each other too.

I agree. I'm not really clear on what the objection is here. 🤔

YABU. VVVVVU. Mean, in fact. The poor kid just wants to play with other kids.

That's different though to the OP's position as I understand it. In her case, the parents are present, just not attentive - they're reading a book or whatever. She doesn't have to take any particular responsibility for other people's kids. Presumably if she's responsibly looking out for her own kids she'd see if the new kid was in any sort of trouble and, if they hadn't noticed, she or anybody else who noticed it would alert their inattentive parents who would take responsibility of the situation. But that would apply to anybody with any child in trouble at the beach/pool. I don't understand why she feels that she had to do anything other than look out for her own kids.

I am confused. You don’t have to watch a kid just because they play with yours. Kids befriend other kids on holidays. It’s nice. So long as your kids are also enjoying playing with these kids I don’t see the problem. You don’t need to take it upon yourself to watch them. Some parents are more relaxed about keeping an eye on kids (my parents were like this; I am not), it doesn’t mean they expect you to watch the kid for them.