1 child families + holidays + I don’t want to watch your kids

[Theseers]

It’s a running joke in our family that we attract the 1 child family every holiday we go on. I have 4 teens/children and I’m single so one adult. Without exception over the last 10 years every summer/beach holiday we’ve been on a lone child has somehow attached themself to us.

Im not a cold hearted bitch, I had 4 kids so I wouldn’t have to entertain them all the time and I get that there are a number of reasons someone may only have 1 child. But that doesn’t mean I want to look after them on my holiday.

We managed to get to day 4 this year before it happened, a boy of around 7/8 edged his way over encouraged my mum. My lot were playing a ball game in the pool and involved him after he gestured for the ball. Fine, but don’t then roll over on your sun bed and start reading your book ffs. He was then attached to my kids all afternoon, the next day we went to the pool in the AM for a morning swim and the beach for the PM, family appears next to us on the HUGE beach and plonks themselves down 20meters away, immediately the kid comes over and involves himself.

Ive lost count of the amount of holidays we’ve ended up having a tag along whose parents seem to be having a lovely relaxing holiday. I have returned children to the parents a few times, but they either just come back or stand there staring at my kids it’s bloody horrible.

Sorry but I did have to chuckle at your comment that having a large family means you can relax a little.
If you say so...

I'm a single child single parent and a family of 4 kids would be exactly what we would avoid.

Yes the parent should still supervise but it's not unreasonable for a child to make friends and join in with others.

I had to chuckle that you didn't read my post properly. I can relax because I have raised my family, not because of the number of kids I had. If I had one kid that was raised, I also get to relax.

As lovely as having young kids has been, I'm past that and can sit back and enjoy my coffee while those still in the trenches get to chase their kids to keep them safe.

In conclusion, some people (kids and adults), are annoying on holiday.

@MNHQ, please explain why my post at 8.09am on Monday was deleted.

It was not a personal attack and I do not believe that it breached talk guidelines. Yes, I expressed anger at the OP's disgusting stereotyping of families with only children. I would not expect a parenting website of all things to censor people for calling out damaging and offensive stereotypes about certain types of family structure.

Please could you clarify why it is that my post was deleted whereas this horrible offensive thread has been left to stand? Does MNHQ really think that it's fine for people to promote nasty and baseless stereotypes about only child families but it's not OK for people to call them out on this crap?

Very disappointed in the poor judgment that you have shown in moderating this thread.

I’m ok with the idea of children playing together! I think in the pool situation I’d say to the other mum ‘I love that they’re all playing but my 2 eyes can only handle tracking my 4 kids in water and that’s exhausting enough, I’m a bit concerned that you might think I’m watching yours too- I can’t manage that sorry.’

It is uncomfortable, it is awkward,

Only if you make it so. Either ignore it, or tell them to go back to their families as your kids are having a break. Even better, empower your kids to do the same.

17 year old ds is perfectly capable of saying “ no, I only throw my siblings in the pool. Sorry” Grey rock. Or the younger ones. “It’s been lovely playing with you but we’d like to play on our own now”

Its only making you feel uncomfortable if you let it.

4 kids is the perfect team, they play pool volleyball together but then you have another kid wanting to circle in which means I have to referee one of my kids taking a turn out of their family game?

You mean in a hotel pool, on holiday, your children take over the pool to play volleyball?
Really?
And other children have to stay clear?

Unbelievable!!

There's some really awful posts on this thread. I am one of 3 and some of my happiest memories were going on holiday and making new friends! Some of the attitudes on this thread are quite frankly disturbing.

Only children always seem to be fair game on here and the same tired stereotypes get trotted out time and time again. I think on the other hand boasting of having multiple children so you don't have to do play dates or entertain your child is piss poor parenting. Children need 1:1 interacting with parents. Children's social needs can't be met by siblings alone and its important that they learn to socialise out of their family as part of their development and to build social skills. Even though at times I may not like these things, I do it as a parent because I know it benefits my child. The whole insular attitude that some parents is so unhealthy.

One child family here - and NO I do send my child over to join others- he is Sen and unpredictable. We get the opposite - other parents sending their kid over to us, I send them back to their TWO parents and I have seen them send their Kid back to us whilst they continue chatting to their friends. Sometimes they give their child seeets so the child sits in front of us stuffing its face, - they NEVER share and my child has to watch. I send them back pronto and they come back, and believe me I return them repeatedly. I do not need other children around me and my child. I do not go out with my child to look after other peoples children. I only want to be my child. It makes me wonder why some parents have the children if they don’t want to be with them???
And yes, my child will be mixing with other children in summer clubs this holiday

Our DD is an ‘only’. More often than not we’d end up with her ‘holiday friends’ hanging round with us all day. Tbf, I never minded as DD was the real winner here as it’s sometimes hard for kids with no siblings on holiday.

I always had the exact opposite experience. My son was an only child and I always ended up with parents of multiple children palming their kids who were the same age as my son off on me because their hands were full with the baby or kids of other ages. It was a nightmare to be honest, almost as of they thought it was fine because they had their hands full and I only had the one. They’d even try it in restaurants. They’d sit with baby and I’d have to deal with their older kids for them. I guess it happens both ways.

I’m always the parent watching the children. I’d rather do that than have to talk to the parent of the random child.

Hi,

i think you are misjudging the situation. If you have a bunch of kids…you are in the highly desirable place of having kids playing together.
i mean if the parents are rude or leave…yeah…just send back the kid but otherwise your lot will attract! Many solo kid want to make friends. And a bunch of friendly kids is exactly what they are looking for 😵‍💫 Of course they will be encourage by their parents to do so. No parents want their kid to be feeling alone during holidays 😓

if you want to be left alone with your kids, I suggest you rent a villa, with a pool. Alternate beach and pool. There. The others won’t attach if they don’t find you every day. Leave the public space for people whom actually want to be with others 🤷🏼‍♀️

good luck 🌺

My eldest is like soooooo chatty, I myself went and got him back from where he went. « No, you can’t just barge on them coz they have a ball ». « No, you can’t just use all their stuff coz they don’t use it this second ». I mean he is 6 😅🤣🤣🤣

But then he always seem to find some kids whom want to play with him and we kinda check if the parents are ok with it. We kinda stay at a distance and watch our own kid and the playing. We usually try not to talk because « what if we don’t like them but the kids like each other ». We just leave him decide who he wants to be friend with and try and teach him some manners 🤷🏼‍♀️

I'm on the fence here. I'm not sure this counts as watching them at that age. Surely by that age a child can play with yours without being constantly observed. Mum is right there if anything goes wrong or the kids need something. It's not as if she's leaving altogether, or the kid is demanding anything beyond company, unless I've missed something.

There seems to be a lot of non chuckely chuckling going down on this thread!

My DC are older now, but on family holidays, if we were somewhere where there were other children, they tended to pal up with others of their own age group, ie oldest (a girl) would find girls her own age, next (a boy) would find a gang of boys and the youngest would either be 'mothered' by the older girls or hang out with the boys (with us being fully aware of what the younger ones were doing).
Usually it was a campsite in France so all nationalities made friends.

if you want to be left alone with your kids, I suggest you rent a villa, with a pool.

✔

This has happened to us, 2 kids, a Mum of 2 was with her Mum and the grandma was the one mostly watching them. The 2 little girls attached themselves to our DC, all in the pool. Grandma fell asleep (constantly) so we had to be responsible. Later saw Mum, drunk and with different men. When we did tell them to go back and sit with their family no one was there! So yanbu, it's totally negligent and unfair to look after your own children on holiday. This is how accidents and worse happen and if it wasn't for the more responsible parents looking out for them goodness knows...

@

I have an only, not by ‘choice’. We rely on her making friends, but would never expect another parent to watch her and always check it’s ok..Sadly, she also has no cousins or even aunties and uncles and only one (mostly absent) grandparent. She’s popular at home and we do our best to go away with other families but it’s tough.
However, we are also often the parents who go out of our way to welcome new families/kids to the school and neighbourhood, as we know what it feels like to be on the outside. As a result she is a pretty caring kid who thinks of others.
I hope you’re in the minority because you sound entitled and not particularly kind.

Goodness how miserable. We have 5 daughters who happily play together, there is only 4 years between the oldest and youngest but still happy for them to male friends / play with other children. I don't mind watching them either, I would be watching anyway so what is the hardship.

My DS always makes a friend. In face he made a really good one in Spain a few years ago and we got to know the mum and dad quite well and after we had a chat we ended up taking it in turns to watch the kids play. Then we would take them both to play crazy golf and then the dad of the other kid would take them them to play table tennis. It worked out really well. However I would never ever assume that another family would watch my kid. He may play with others kid but I am always watching him and would expect other parents to do the same