If your Dh died or you got divorced do you think you'd remarry

[Eastereggmadness]

My DD 10 asked me this out of the blue? And asked me to promise I never would! (She'd watched some programme with new stepmum in it).
And it got me thinking. I don't think I ever would at least till they were grown up) as I don't think my kids would like it. But maybe that is a bit martyrish of me. I wonder what others think.

My paternal grandmother was married three times. She was never divorced. She lost her first husband to a works accident just after they were married. Her second husband - my grandfather - died suddenly in his 40s of a heart attack, when their kids were early 20s. She married again and then died of cancer in her 50s.

Which is to say, none of us know what life is going to throw at us and the choices we might make. I don't think I'd marry again after DH, but I think I'd want romantic companionship in some form. But I can't say I'd never marry again.

I’m really surprised that nearly everyone on this thread has said “no”. DH and I have been very happily married for 40 years and have had the chat. We are in our 60’s now. I would hope he would be dating again within3 months if I died. I love being married as well as the person I married and would want that to be my life going forward. A prenup and new will would be required of course but for me nothing else is as good a way to live. I have a strong libido and would want to live with any new partner for that reason too.

Not until my kids moved out and even then I'm not sure I would bother. Also I'm bi and if I was to date again I wouldn't date men.

No.

if dh & I divorced (or died I hope I have many more years left with him) I have always said I’d never re marry (I am quite content to be on my own with my children)

I would also if I ever felt like dating again never want to blend a family. I’ve seen the destruction this can cause (yes I am aware some are brilliant as well) I do not want to be a step parent - so in the unlikely event of divorce even if I did think about it my pool of candidates would be very small 🤣

No.

I wouldn't promise not to because you never know but I really can't see it happening.

Hell No
Just Me Myself and I and a little dog

Pre nups and wills 😉

I was widowed at 47. My kids were 4 and 6. I guess I though I would but it hasn't happened and I'm in my 60s now. I'm content.

I've often wondered if I should since my wife passed. I've not looked for anyone else but I'm pleased to see that someone in a similar situation has found contentment. Knowing that it's possible does help

No, I really don't think I would. I definitely wouldn't enter the seventh circle of hell that online dating seems to be. Delighted to have lived a dic pic free existence thanks

Not sure. I would miss the companionship, closeness and sex (even though that area is kind of lacking currently with DH) but I definitely don't think I could remarry whilst my kids are still dependent, as my experience as a child of divorced parents was quite difficult.

However, because marriage has largely been a very positive experience for me, I would hope I could find that happiness again with someone else. Especially if DH died before I was 50 or so. That seems potentially a long time to be alone.

No, once I had recovered I would be open to dating again, but I wouldn’t move someone in until the children had permanently moved out due to the relationship ending traumatically. I wouldn’t however marry as I wouldn’t want to risk assets being diluted for our children.

A close friend is in a difficult situation at the moment, he and his wife divorced and he was able to re-mortgage and keep the childrens family home. Seven years later he re-married, she recently had an affair discovered and he is now unable to keep the family home due to how much she has been awarded in the divorce settlement and him being recently self employed due to becoming disabled, so he and his two children are having to live a very small rented home as moving further away would make contact with their mum challenging.

No, definitely, definitely not. Married over 30yrs. Marriage/long-term partnership a once-in-a-lifetime thing for me. No-one else would put up with me, anyhow, and I couldn’t tolerate anyone but dh’s idiosyncrasies now!

@PrincessMee possibly but I hear of too much going wrong after the parent has died and the children end up missing out7

That would be cases where people don't have things nailed down legally. There's a post in relationships currently where someone who has made a disastrous financial mistake with a partner. I know people will say " pre nups aren't legal." In practice they are.

NO fucking way
Not falling for that old mallarky again.

Please note my use of the word 'might'.

You said they "with 40 years of loneliness ahead they might think differently."

The "might" qualified whether they would think differently after several years of being single, not whether they would be lonely: your post assumed that single people who are younger have decades of loneliness ahead when many do not feel lonely. There is more to life than romantic relationships.

Tasteless OP

My mum was widowed in her mid 30s, left with 4 kids - I was 7. She never looked remotely interested in getting together with anyone again.

I kind of wish she had as I didn't have much of a role model for relationships....

I'm surprised there are so many women here with no sex life or a desire for one.

@randomchap and @mondaytosunday please meet up with each other! ❣️

@PrincessMee you do not need to marry or even have a boyfriend to have sex. And lots of womens sex drive declines past menopause.

I’ve thought about this before myself and I’m really not sure. I have no interest in being with anyone else but him. But I’m only in my twenties so if something were to happen to him right now that’s a very long time to be alone. I think it would depend on how I felt at the time. It would definitely take me a very long time to be ready to marry again if I ever was at all.

My DH died nearly 21 years ago. He killed himself.
I am not a rich widow and we did not have any children.
I have not remarried, although a few years ago I might have considered it.

I agree OP, I really can’t see me dating until they’re grown up. I don’t want my kids to have step parents and I really don’t want step children.