If your Dh died or you got divorced do you think you'd remarry

[Eastereggmadness]

My DD 10 asked me this out of the blue? And asked me to promise I never would! (She'd watched some programme with new stepmum in it).
And it got me thinking. I don't think I ever would at least till they were grown up) as I don't think my kids would like it. But maybe that is a bit martyrish of me. I wonder what others think.

It’s very easy to say no never to both these scenarios whilst you’ve still got your husband with you but it does happen, lots of people re marry.

I very much doubt that anybody else would want either of us.

Never say never but I can't see it, frankly. Nobody could fill the void left by DH. He's been in my life for almost 30 years.

I understand why people do but personally couldn’t

Exactly the same. Dont feel like any man could bring anything to my life at this point.

I was 47 when my husband died suddenly, 5 years ago now. We had been together for almost 25 years. Back then I was adamant I wouldn’t ever want another partner. That no one could replace my husband. That we were soulmates and anyone else would be second best, and so not worth considering.

But now, 5 years down the line while my late husband is still a huge part of my life, and I talk to him every day, I realise that having someone to do things with, and more importantly having someone to do nothing with, makes life more fun. And seeing as I could still have 30 or 40 years ahead of me spending all that time alone doesn’t appeal as much now. I can’t see me marrying again, but I can see how having someone else in my life - the right person - would be a positive.

It's very easy to say no when you are living in a family unit. When people live on their own and I mean ON THEIR OWN not with children there, it is a harsh lonely life at home IF you are a sociable person.

I am so glad to read this. I remember the raw pain you posted about when your DH died and it is testament to you that you were brave enough to open your heart again for yourself and your DD.

It definitely has for me. Non of that stuff would've occurred to me previously.

When we write our will I will ensure my money/ assets are safe for ds should I die first.

Me too, some threads on here have been real eye-openers. I've had a chat with DH about this and we've both agreed that we'd never remarry and risk our assets going to anyone other than our kids. Would both be absolutely fine with the other being in a new relationship without financial ties though.

I have a friend who is 72 and her fiancé died when she was 21. She told me a few years ago she regretted that she never met anyone else and had children. I wonder if she rejected any offers as she's lovely and would have been a catch.

I'm 50 now, so if I got divorced or widowed I could be looking at 30+ years on my own. I wouldn't be in any rush to meet someone new, but I can't see myself staying single all that time. I love DH to bits but I imagine I'd eventually find a new partner.

No I wouldn't.
A main reason would be to protect dc inheritance and house.

Nope! Not in my case.

And it's quite a leap to assume that single people are "lonely".

Please note my use of the word 'might'.

No.
I'm 50 now and I really don't think I could be arsed to start all over again with a new bloke.

I think I would be happier plodding along on my own doing my crafts.

I could never promise that to my DC if they were really young as you never know what the future holds.

As it is mine have flown the nest, and I count my blessings in that I never had to...but no I'd not bother to remarry again, wouldn't actively look at dating again either.

Death and divorce would have different outcomes for me.

If my dh died whilst we were still married and together then I would always feel that we were married, as we'd never divorced. I'd also want to protect what we'd build financially. I wouldn't want to disadvantage my dd. So I wouldn't marry someone else.

If dh and I divorced though, finances were separated etc then I wouldn't rule out marrying someone else. I'd be very careful with my financials though.

My husband did die, and not in a million years.

I do believe marriage and think that's the idea state to raise a family, but once that's done, can't see any benefit at all.

No I wouldn't. We married young and have a pretty happy and solid marriage of thirty eight years.
No regrets but I would not give up my independence for anybody.
Told my husband this too...but would maybe get somebody in to check the lightbulbs on a Friday night 😉

No, i wouldnt remarry, i dont think. Although I can't get my head around dating anyone else either (not judging those who do!). It's hard to think of that scenario when you're in love and don't want to think about it! Once you're in it I'm sure it's different. I would want to love again I'm sure.

Nope. Although I would like a partner (maybe I mean FWB, I'm not sure), I couldn't be bothered with a relationship again. It's bloody hard work, I love myself and my own company and couldn't imagine giving someone new that kind of commitment again.

Definitely nope 😬

Nope

Thank you @BirthdayRainbow. I have been very lucky – DP couldn’t be more different to DH but he is so incredibly good to me and to DD, so understanding about the place DH has and will always have in our lives. and we love him very much. What you said on your later post spoke to me too. FIL – DH’s dad – was widowed young (he was about 50) and he didn’t meet anyone else. But he was the most understanding and supportive out of anyone when I met DP – he said that while he didn’t think he wanted or needed to meet anyone else when his children were at home, now that he’s older he regrets not having done so. He was very glad that I did, and I know DH would be too.

i definitely wouldn't. I'm early 60s with no interest in sex and couldn't be bothered with all the dating stuff again.