If your Dh died or you got divorced do you think you'd remarry

[Eastereggmadness]

My DD 10 asked me this out of the blue? And asked me to promise I never would! (She'd watched some programme with new stepmum in it).
And it got me thinking. I don't think I ever would at least till they were grown up) as I don't think my kids would like it. But maybe that is a bit martyrish of me. I wonder what others think.

I don't think so.

I wouldn't mind being in a relationship again but living with another man? Watching another guy develop irritating habits as they age, and become a grumpy old man?

Nah. Already done that once, thanks.

Same. OLD was only just emerging and I never tried it. Now it sounds awful. Walking dates so you do t have to spend money. Queuing for and buying your own coffees separately. Dating multiple people at once. It’s so alien to me. I don’t even like people that much so I would be awful at it 😂

Why would you need to marry again to find happiness? By marrying you'd be reducing any inheritance your four kids would stand to receive.

Never

I would. I'm in my 30s, that's a lot of life to go through without another relationship.

God no.

Not quite what you're asking I know - but I remember discussing it a couple of times and coming to the conclusion that if this happened, I probably wouldn't and he probably would. We divorced 20 years ago and I never have (and never will) and he remarried within weeks of our decree absolute being issued.

I haven't even dated either, whereas he was on dating sites while we were waiting to separate. In fact it was this, and him meeting the woman he would eventually marry and spending family money to travel to meet her and her children (yes I know!) that prompted me to see a solicitor and set the divorce going.

The reason - I felt if it didn't work after 29 years, I couldn't be arsed trying again. I think they are reasonably happy - he emigrated to another continent to be with her and now has taken on citizenship of her country.

I don't like sex- never have really and I find marriage very stifling in terms of 'constant compromise' don't like living around someone else's moods and frustrations- but I do like company in short doses, so whilst I might like the odd date - I would happily be single

Well seeing how my husband is alive and it's a hypothetical situation, my new husband is a multimillionaire and has given each of my children £2 million each, bought us a lovely house and is an only child with no living family.

The serious answer is I might want to. And there is nothing to inherit 😅 we have no money and don't own our house.

not until my DD was grown up, and if he had kids, not til they were

I think it also depends on how old you are and your life situation when that happens. I'm 55, divorced for 9 years, 3 children all in their 20s. Had a relationship for 5 years but after he died suddenly I realised that I never want to go through that level of grief again so am more than happy staying single. ExH remarried 4 years after the divorce to someone he'd been seeing for 18 months.

Admittedly I do feel a small pang of envy seeing couples of my age holding hands or with their arms around each other as I do miss the physical contact of another human but not enough to go through all the dating crap.

Nope not while I still had children at home. I’d date, but I wouldn’t be doing no step parent blended family stuff.

I’ve only ever loved one man and that’s dh and I kissed quite a few frogs before him. If I happened to meet someone but I wouldn’t actively pursue it.

No, I really enjoy my own company and would happily eat out or holiday on my own so meeting someone else isn't on my list however, I have told DH that I would like for him to meet someone else when I'm not here (terminal cancer). He's spent the last few years caring for me and missed out on so much and I want him to be happy again, to go on holiday etc, he simply wouldn't go alone.

Not to a man. I couldn't trust another man to be as kind, loving and respectful I don't think. I'm also finding myself more and more attracted to women as I get older.

No. Dh is my second husband. Three would seem....excessive. And I know I wouldn't find one I liked as much.

I don’t know if I’d go to the effort of trying to find a partner, but if I happened to meet someone very special who was great to me and my children then why not?

Fuck no, imagine dating again. Yuck.

@Rachie1973 sending love, my DF has this, obviously a lot older then your DH I'm assuming, he's been diagnosed 7 years and still going strong (wasn't eligible for stem cell treatment due to other issues). Wishing you and DH as long and happy life as possible

I met DH when he was the same age as i am now. I simply cannot imagine negotiating the whole sex with new partner thing TBH. Looking back I am surprised he had the energy. Looking in the mirror I'm surprised he had the motivation.

Absolutely not.

Absolutely not. The legal and financial implications are far too messy. Especially if you have children. I am too old to be bothered now, but if I was younger I wouldn't discount a new relationship. But pensions/ finances/ property are best kept separate.

Anyway- I have a lovely neighbour who is now 88. She had a fucking awful husband. Put it this way.... when he died his own children- before the funeral- told her that she should now live a proper and full life and they hoped she would find someone who deserved her. One of her daughters would not even go to the funeral of her father. trust me, I don't know the story there but can only sympathise because he was a total arsehole.

She has a boyfriend who is 90 and lives about an hour away. I was having coffee with her and asked if they planned to marry. She shuddered and said there was no way she would ever look after another man again. She liked the companionship and the occasional intimate relations (as she phrased it) but she was going to have fun and travel and enjoy herself for a bit and not rinse out someone elses dentures.

Absolutely bloody not. I'm divorced. Never going there again.

I don’t know. I’m only early 40’s, but then I believe in heaven and how could I show up to be reunited with my husband, when I’ve remarried? It’s a strange old thought I appreciate.
But then who wants to live a lonely life if theirs another option and they find love again.