Not invited to christening

[Blackberryandcherry]

AIBU?

One of my close friends had a baby in November. I planned her baby shower completely on my own for around 30 people, and I’ve been a regular visitor whilst she’s on mat leave, often using my annual leave to keep her and baby company during the day.

I went round last night for a couple of glasses of wine and she got onto chatting about her plans to get the baby christened. She said it would just be a small christening with family and her babies ‘friends’. It turns out that involves inviting our entire friendship group and their little ones, but not me as I am child free. I am the only one without a baby.

AIBU to be hurt by this? Fully expecting to be told she can invite who she likes but honestly I am feeling a bit devastated to be the only one excluded.

She's being awful. No excuses for that.

Distance yourself.

She’s not a kind person. Don’t invest any more of your time energy and money on her.

If she doesn’t invite you, rather than is assuming you know you are invited so she doesn’t need to specify it like she does with the others in your friendship group, then I would distance yourself from her and not do any further organising or visiting, especially when it requires annual leave.

Meow.

Maybe the OP was trying to support her supposed friend, and the friend could have opened her mouth and made it known if her company was not wanted? I guess she has now, though.

Please go find other friends, OP.

Jeezo, she’s no friend op. And don’t be embarassed about pics on social media, they will show her for who she truly is, a selfish person who doesn’t value people who have been good to her. I am not surprised you are hurt, I would be too - I would cut her off, she really is no friend and does not deserve your time.

She was having a tough time when her husband went back to work so I took various mornings off work to sit with her so she wasn’t on her own.

I do have other friendship groups who I see evenings and weekends.

You know, it is OK for you to tell her that you're upset. Perhaps point out that your childlessness didn't seem to be a problem when you were the one organising her baby shower.
And then retreat.
Know your own worth and she is not the friend you thought she was. sounds like a self-absorbed bitch

It's not for you to explain. A simple I wasn't invited will do. I'm sure the rest will follow in mutual group conversations.

I'd seriously be backing off from this friendship if I were you.

I would tell her that you are upset in case it was just thoughtlessness.

If she's not absolutely mortified then I would quietly ditch her.

Does she know you used annual leave to support her in her time of need. She sounds like a cheeky fucker to me.

She is a user.
Don't attempt to buy a christening card or gift.

If she said she can invites who she's like, that's true, and she can also consider your feelings. If she's not considering your feelings than she's not your friend.

she has shown you how little she values your friendship. move on and don't waste any more time on her.

You are a better friend to her than she is to you. Stop wasting your A/L and tine on her. Also, definitely don't buy a christening present. You don't give gifts to functions you're not invited to.

Could you speak to her about it? If she is your good friend then discuss it and tell her that it makes you feel sad and you would like to go.

Sounds like you need to take a step back from that friendship if she valued you at all she would at least invite you but explain as your child free you are under no obligation to attend.

Unless theres another side to this you haven't realised (eg you're very full on/ she's trying to extract herself from you and you haven't realised😂)
Then yes that's awful and I'd be really upset if I was you. I'd probably tell her as much too if you spent so much time organising her baby shower.

Please don’t feel embarrassed about people finding out. The embarrassment is hers to feel.

That's shitty behaviour. I'd be hurt too. You've been a good friend to her.

The explanation is simply 'I wasn't invited'. End of. No need to feel upset for simply stating fact. The lack of an invitation is not on you. You are not responsible for your friend's choices. If others want to make more of it and want to know the ins and outs, I would tell them you don't know and they could ask the friend if they need to know any gossip. Don't let it be your drama.

I can't vote because you haven't mentioned whether you told her she's out of order, given that you arranged her entire baby shower alone and have been supporting her ever since?

If you've told her this then YANBU

If you sat there without saying a word, then YABVVU.

'Close friend' seems to be code on Mumsnet for 'someone I actually can't talk to'.

Yep, this. And don't buy christening gifts or cards either. Time to pull bavk.

How did you react when she told you? If she's a friend can you have an honest conversation with her over how you feel?

Maybe people like to think about things before talking to people

Maybe unfollow your friend on SM, but don't unfriend. You then won't see any Facebook feeds from her.

I agree that you don't buy a christening gift. That's for guests only.