Husband thinks boob job using inheritance is dumb

[Uhjo]

I received a small inheritance from my grandmother. Dh and I have agreed a couple things it will go on ( mutually beneficial). With the remainder I said I will look into getting a breast lift. Dh has stated how much a waste he thinks this is but equally said it’s your money.

For context, I like my boobs but ONLY when they are in a bra (so that’s why dh considers it a waste). I’m 130 pounds but wear a 32 e. I just hate the way they hang. But it is easily solved by wearing bras. So I do kind of see the point. With the size of my boobs it’s not like I could wear a tight top and go braless. That’s not the goal.

I’m 31 and just want to love my entire body I guess. DH suggested I go to Turkey but I would rather stick to a UK surgeon.

We are not in debt and own our house. Of course there are loads of things that the money could go on.

Is it silly? I guess I am concerned my judgement is clouded and I am being controlled to a certain extent by an insecurity.

Breasts of a certain size sag because of gravity. The ones that don't sag are implants. I don't know much about breast lifts, but won't gravity just cause the skin to stretch again over time?

DW was adamant she wanted a tummy tuck after coming into some money a few years ago. We were not in debt, and weren't going without anything so she decided to go ahead with it. I didn't agree, and thought it was a daft way to spend the money.

But it was her money (we are a separate finances household anyway, but this was specifically hers to spend as she wished) so I helped her look for a surgeon and she got it done. She has been infinitely happier since having it done and while there were lots of things she "could" have spent the money on, that's what she decided and ultimately I supported her decision.

If it means that much to you, do it and I hope your DH will support you with it. Good luck!

I assumed the lift would involve a reduction.

I gained weight which I have nearly now lost 20 months after having a baby. I’m not a lucky slim person. My body is no different other than around my C-section scar.

A lift won’t last more than 5-10 years have you thought about a reduction and lift - not for just cosmetic reasons but if you have back pain etc it sounds as if that would be a better choice

Big boobs naturally look saggier when not in a bra. It's gravity. Even with a lift, gravity will still exist and they will still be big.

Speaking as a fellow big boobed girl in my 30s. Unless you're planning on getting those rock solid implants that defy the laws of physics, I'm not sure a lift will work how you imagine.

Have a think about it. Put the money to one side and talk to some other big boobed girls. See if you still feel the same.

No not necessarily I think for you it is a reduction you need

I am similar size and position to you. If I had the money, I’d do it tomorrow. I hate my breasts when they are not in a bra and am very self conscious about them so I completely understand where you are coming from. I think larger breasts are difficult in general!

I am saving up to have mine done.

Please ignore posters saying it is ‘vain’ it’s not vain at all, you have a right to have something fixed if it is affecting your confidence and self esteem as long as you are doing it for you, and no one else.

Only thing I would say is DO NOT go to Turkey to have it done just to save money, the risk of getting an infection is higher. Get a reputable surgeon here where you’ll get aftercare and help with problems. It’s not worth cutting costs for a large operation such as this. Good luck!

I've had plastic surgery but not a boob job. I can honestly say it's the best money I have ever spent. I don't give a shit if some people think it's vapid or a waste of money. I look absolutely incredible and I love how it came out. I am only disappointed I didn't do it sooner. It's an amazing feeling loving what you see in the mirror and feeling confident.

I'd have anything else I didn't like fixed in a heartbeat. UK plastic surgeons are actually not as good as some overseas, simply because they do not perform as many of these operations. I went to Turkey to a specialist who is an actual eye specialist surgeon as well as a plastic surgeon. Paid a fraction of what it would cost here and I look great. No complications. I just read lots of reviews and made sure I was seeing somebody experienced etc.

In your situation, I would take a lovely holiday somewhere where you can go naked every day among other naked people that you'll never see again. If the way you feel about your body doesn't shift in that time, maybe it's worth the risk of surgery.

But it's true that most women take decades to get to a place of acceptance with their bodies. Of course, women who've had work done will say it was the best thing they ever did. But they can't know that in five or ten years they wouldn't have realised that their bodies are aweome, anyway.

Of course it's your choice, your money, and your body, so that's just my opinion.

My shape hasn't changed at all as I have always done a lot of exercise but there is more of me as I have found it very hard to be anywhere near the weight I was prior to having children or even normal BMI. My lifestyle and hormone make up changed and definitely my weight but not my shape.

I think you need to do some proper research on what it is you think you want, what it is that might work for you and then make this decision. Lifts, implants, increases and reductions are all different things.

I do acknowledge the misogyny that I have been fed re saggy boobs being unacceptable.

Even now when I see comments saying that shape is normal for big boobs - what do you expect? It still shocks me but in a good way. And it feels like some big revelation as I guess when I was younger I thought it was just me.

I agree with your DH.
You are happy to undergo serious surgery with the risk of complications for the sake of not wearing a bra.
For a solution that is not a life long solution because your breasts will sag with age any way.

But it's your money to waste.

Strange when there is another current thread where the OP is really upset because her DH wants her to have a boob job and has criticised her body to his pal because she won't have and doesn't want such an operation.

You on the other hand appear to have a DH who appreciates you as you are.

I just don't know why anyone would risk their health for the sake of their appearance.

A breast lift is a different question to implants; you don't have a foreign object inside you that your body may try and reject (breast implant illness is a thing!)

Have you had children? If not and you plan to in the future then I think anything like that would be a waste of money at this stage.

If it's something you've thought long and hard about, have wanted to do for several years, and are 100% sure will make you feel happier and more confident in your body, I would say do it.

However, I wouldn't use inheritance money. Maybe take a small chunk of it to start a savings fund, and have a time in mind to reach your goal, but if your husband openly thinks it's a waste now then he may resent you for it over time.

Do not go to Turkey. I know it seems like a bargain but you have to remember this is really serious surgery, the results of which you will have to live with for the rest of your life. Do a ton of research and find the best surgeon you can in your home country. It may be far more expensive, but your health is not worth gambling with. It will take you longer to save, but if anything that is a good thing - you'll know when the time rolls round that this is really what you want.

There are only 2 questions about sepndong the money on a breast lift:

Is it your money? Yes.

Is it your body? Yes.

The answer is Yes.

Yes.

Had kids. Ruined the pertness of my boobs. Now at nearly 50 they are huge and almost hitting my waist and I would get them reduced and lifted tomorrow if I could.

Have the children first then do what you want.

You're only 31. Go for it. Not in türkiye tho!

Op there are whole breast reduction/lift threads on MN so you may want to read those…spoiler alert everyone loves their new breasts
it is true breast implants have an average age of 10-20 years per manufacturer. Silicone implants tend to stay “in place” so you don’t get a deflated appearance as much and you may not be aware your implant has failed or you may need new implants.

have you seen a plastic surgeon? You may medically qualify for a breast reduction. They will make your breasts smaller nipples smaller are less south facing. What cannot be changed is your BREAST FOOTPLATE. Your breast footplate typically is parallel with your bicep. This is where your breast begins or ends or “sits on your chest”. This cannot be raised
I had a breast reduction with small implant at the top for upper volume. 13k$ USA. Insurance paid for some but not all. I went shopping immediately after my surgery and recovered without incident. I always wore a bra 24 hrs a day and still do but now it’s a simpler bra with thinner straps and is so much more comfortable. Clothing bathing suits all so much better and I’m slender…big boobs made all clothing choices difficult.
yes your body will change from aging pregnancy etc. yes it may affect both sensation and breast feeding but many do BF
i think a granny inheritance is a very nice opportunity to have surgery you otherwise would not want to put money towards.
you may get the most benefit now in terms of self confidence clothing choices feeling like your peers rather than waiting.

I finally plucked up the courage to have a lift and reduction six years ago and I can honestly say it has changed my life. Apart from easing the constant back pain, it has made me feel so so much better about myself and really helped my confidence and mental health. I can finally wear the clothes that I want to, which again makes me feel better about myself. It is some of the best money I have ever spent and I would recommend anyone who was feeling like I did to consider it. My husband, like yours, did find it difficult to understand to start with, but once he realised what a difference it had made for me he also agreed it was money well spent. However, do make sure you do your due diligence when it comes to surgeons. Get a recommendation if you can, and don't go abroad to get it done cheaper.

If you wear a bra anyway, what is the point of a boob job that could go wrong in future?

Would the implants need removing at any time in the future?

That would be my concern.

But it's your money and your body, not his.

If you want it, do it.

My DH tells me he disagrees with things I plan to have done, I just do them anyway, its not his choice or decision.

I did get to the bottom of it though, apparently he worries in case I don't like the outcome and have to live with it for however long. He was really against me having microblading, because I stopped having my eyebrows threaded/waxed as they wouldn't do the shape how I wanted (always taking them too thin) and he didn't want them to be fucked up in my opinion and me hating them.

Maybe he thinks you will still be unhappy after anyway or find something else to be unhappy about.

I’d definitely get it done but only if I was done having kids. Pregnancy and breastfeeding messes with them.

I have several friends who have had boobs jobs and their boobs are amazing.

Definitely get it done in the UK though by someone you have had a personal recommendation for.