Husband thinks boob job using inheritance is dumb

[Uhjo]

I received a small inheritance from my grandmother. Dh and I have agreed a couple things it will go on ( mutually beneficial). With the remainder I said I will look into getting a breast lift. Dh has stated how much a waste he thinks this is but equally said it’s your money.

For context, I like my boobs but ONLY when they are in a bra (so that’s why dh considers it a waste). I’m 130 pounds but wear a 32 e. I just hate the way they hang. But it is easily solved by wearing bras. So I do kind of see the point. With the size of my boobs it’s not like I could wear a tight top and go braless. That’s not the goal.

I’m 31 and just want to love my entire body I guess. DH suggested I go to Turkey but I would rather stick to a UK surgeon.

We are not in debt and own our house. Of course there are loads of things that the money could go on.

Is it silly? I guess I am concerned my judgement is clouded and I am being controlled to a certain extent by an insecurity.

Screw everyone that says wear a bra. They probably have no idea what it’s like to have your tits hanging at your waist. Go and get it done op. Get a mild reduction while you’re there. You won’t regret it. That 32E will only get bigger as you get older.

Your money, you choose what to do with them. End of story.

I think you're being shallow to be completely honest. I'd be saving the money for future children or something that's going to make a real difference to your life, such as a course in the future or a new car.

Cosmetic surgery is a big no for me.

Well said

IF the money would be spent to make you feel better in your body, that will add to your happiness for the rest of your life, so it is worth it. Huge floppy breasts can be uncomfortable and shatter your confidence. Therapy is a load of garbage and you´d better spend the cash on you or you´ll just make a therapist rich. (BodyTalk healing works much better then therapy). Turkey is fabulous for cheaper surgery so please do consider it. (not dodgy at all, very professional) They speak English and do a fab job. My advice is: IF you are well off, do what you need for you. No man can tell you anything about your own breasts as they don´t have to live with them.

34J here with loose skin and I think she should consider better fitted bras and back exercises over surgery.

Most women's boobs don't look great without a bra on. Boobs aren't meant to stay high and perky without a bra. I'd say if you're happy when you have a bra on, then I wouldn't.

Well, your body, your money. Thankfully you've got the commonsense to have it done here.
I've got big boobs. I always wear a bra all day, until bed as they're more comfortable supported.

I have thought about a reduction, but
I don't get pain from them,
the operation might not be successful and give what I want,

Could be an issue with the op,
Could have issues after the op (a close friends DM had alot of long term issues due to not healing correctly).

So personally I'm wouldn't go in for an operation that wasn't 'necessary' for me. I get that for some there is a need on a insecurity/emotional level but I don't have that.

Honestly? I think you would be better off paying for therapy to learn to be ok in your body. I don't mean that in patronising way - therapy can be life changing! I don't love my boobs either (much bigger than yours) but I've learned to be ok with them. If you have kids they are going to change again, so unless you have back pain, I'd leave it.

I’m a firm believer in your money, your body, your choice. There are risks associated with all surgery so do your research properly and stay in the UK for any procedure, but, honesty, as long as you’ve weighed the risk and how you might cope/feel if something goes wrong and are happy, go for it.

No one is telling you that.

I can understand it if your breasts are so big that they cause you pain and physical discomfort. But for the sake of looks and vanity, then no, the money shouldn't be spent on that. It'd be the same as a flat chested woman getting a breast augmentation to ease body dysmorphia. A breast lift isn't going to stop you aging and it's definitely not going to stop gravity acting on your breasts or other parts of your body. It's entirely up to you.

I have very large boobs and even Bravissimo bras sometimes struggle to copy! I'd love to have a reduction for comfort and to be able to buy clothes more easily.

I used part of an inheritance from my GM almost 20 years ago for a breast lift/implants. Mine had lost their fullness post breastfeeding and were like deflated ballons. I was so self conscious of it. I’ve never regretted it. I would wait until you’ve had children (if you plan to) and definitely find a good UK surgeon rather than go abroad.

Money spent on making you more confident in your body is money spent well, there's no replacement for that.
It isn't a question of vainness or morality, you just need to weigh up the health risks vs the potential benefits for yourself (better to speak to directly to people who have had it done then internet strangers who are anti cosmetic surgery full stop)

Your money 💰 your choice go for it sweetheart

Well said
it's a different thing if they are causing pain

Spot on. You need to love yourself for who you are. My bosoms look terrible without a bra. It's amazing what a good bra can do

Totally your decision.
However please dont get surgery in Turkey. Just google stolen nipples and kidneys…. 🫣

I can't believe how many people have answered negatively to this post, 50% of you think this lady spending a little of her own money on herself for something that's been bothering her for years, causes her discomfort, and can easily be addressed, is unreasonable? Wow.

I have suffered with severe acne for years, from the age of 12 to 40. It has left me with a very scarred face, I'm 47 and now aging has joined the party. I am in a similar position as op, I have an inheritance and my partner and I are financially stable. I'm going to spend about £4-£5k on getting my face 'resurfaced'. My dp is very supportive, obviously never had an issue with how I look, but also utterly understands why I want this 100% cosmetic procedure. The scarring doesn't even cause me discomfort like op. Anyone I've mentioned it to is really lovely about it too.

I can't help thinking that if op's procedure was on buck teeth or scarred face she'd get a different reception, but because it's about her boobs people are being really judgy, I just don't get it, what gives?

I think people should always try to be happy without cosmetic surgery but the difference is level of risk.
A boob job literally risks life for appearance- going under GA, infection, complications etc. all to change ones appearance which is unlikely to make them happier long term. If you have such issues you'll find new ones if you don't treat the mental health aspect.
Teeth and skin treatments don't carry the same risks at all.

Dermabrasion and orthodontics do involve general anesthetic, that's why I used those examples.

If she's having a basic breast lift and or reduction, there is inherent risk of a general of course (probably about the same as driving on the M1 in rush hour), but it's not the same as the ongoing risk of having implants.

From what the op says I don't see any signs of someone with self image problems (we can't totally know that, of course), she just wants this one thing sorted so she can carry on her life in comfort. This isn't someone obsessing over her looks with unreasonable expectations.

Personally I think there are far better things to spend your money on, but at the end of the day it’s choice.

She's tried to be happy and she's not so she's going to sort it out.

Tried how? Just willing it?
Surgery won't necessarily sort it out. It's a gamble.